Outraged at how I was treated

I hate when the opposite happens too. When you look at a customer, and
ask them a question, and someone else answers for them. I've had
people order for the other person, say a man orders for his wife, and
they play the telephone game with you. He'll order her steak. You ask
her how she wants it cooked. He asks her, how do you want it cooked.
She tells him, not you, that she wants it medium. He tells you she
wants it medium, as if you didn't hear her. And God forbid there's
salad or side choices in there, you could go back and forth all night.

And then there are the customers that just refuse to look at you or
answer you period, and just mumble incoherently when you ask them what
they want, and then get pissy when you ask them to repeat because you
couldn't hear them because they were talking to the booth seat. Hey,
waiting tables isn't contagious. You won't catch it if you look at
me.

Next time, come to my restaurant. I'll look at you and each of your
friends and talk to you as individuals, and you can do the same to me
in return.

I get this alot, usually being the only westerner sitting at the
table, it's because they doubt I can speak Japanese.

It pisses me off, as much as it did you.

That is EXTREMLY rude of them to do that.

This happens to me almost constantly. I figure it is because of my
face. A lot of people assume that because my face is different that I
must be mentally diabled or something.

Anyway, when I was with my husband everyone dealt with him. If I am
with my mom or sister its the same thing. Even if I am the one paying
for something they will look at them, talk to them, completely ignore
me.

So..I understand.

Sorry. I know it sucks.

This might sound odd but did your friend assert herself as the person
in charge? The reason I ask is because I find that when I go out to
eat no matter who I'm with servers generally look to me. I always
assume its because I'm the "bossy" one of the group and I usually take
charge. If your friend is that person perhaps thats why the waitress
turned to her.

I would like to make a comment, but your friend isn't here to talk to.
Guess I'll check back later. (I'm such an ass. haha)

WOW! That was worse than my own experience.

I was at Outback one evening with a friend. I dress extremely
casually. Why? Because I can. I wear tee-shirts and jeans, and a
baseball cap, reversed. So, I am never surprised when a waitress tends
to ignore me. (Even though it's rare. Must be my boyish good-looks ;)
lol).

Anyway, this waitress slighted me the entire evening. My friend even
commented on it. I guess all she saw was his Rolex, and, my tee-shirt
and hat. He looks older than me, by more than the under 10 years that
seperate us, so, Im sure the waitress thought of me as his kid. At
least until I took the check. Then, all of a sudden she's my new best
friend. She sat down next to me (must be them boyish good looks again.
lol) even brought a free sundae. (I guess she felt she had a lot of
butt kissing to do, when she discovered I was the one who would be
tipping her. ROFLOL).

Why they still ignored you, after seeing you were paying, is beyond
me. Maybe it's a fear thing. Like stage fright. Maybe they just look
at one person, so they don't feel intimidated by such a large crowd of
2-10 people? LOL

maybe you don't exist

I've had something very close to this happen to me before when I was
eating out with a male friend. We were paying seperatly and said so
before we even ordered but the waitress still talked to him the whole
time and everything. She even asked HIM if I wanted a refill. That's
when he said "No but she would like to see the manager". The manager
came out and aske my friend what the problem was and he told him it
was my problem but the guy still refused to address me. We refused to
pay the bill and left telling them we wouldn't be back. About 2 months
later we got a gift card for two free meals so we went back and the
same thing happened. Neither of us have been back since then. I hope
you have better luck then we did.

You're emailing headquarters? I hope you like being ignored, because
you're likely to get more of that.

You should have asked to speak with the manager, or at least phone
him/her when you got home if you were afraid/uncomfortable doing so
face to face.

Ideally, you would have politely but firmly told your server, "Excuse
me, but *I* asked you the question, not my friend, and I'd appreciate
your addressing ME, not someone else."

Maybe you ARE invisible! Have you ever seen the 1962 movie "Carnival
of Souls"?

You had me at "I" and I totally agree with feeling upset. It's the
details that matter most in customer service. I hope you tipped some
other server and acted like yours was invisible. I'm the same way
though, I get looped so easily when drinking on an empty stomach.....
I had a similar experience at another chain restaurant.Server came out
and introduced himself....I actually stood up and introduced myself by
name (I read that it helps to shake their hand or touch them in some
way...it makes them feel some kind of connection...but i would feel
uncomfortable if i were a woman and the server was a man)... and said
"I'm in charge of the tip".... next time try that.... gets their
attention every time and they'll get the orders straight and make sure
you're happy with the service.

Good luck!! I know how annoying it feels

What is it you guys are responding to? I don't see anything but a
blank page.

You are probably some ghost or something, did something happen to you
something tragic that you thought you survived, well go look in a
mirror, if you see your reflection then you will notice that the
waiter ignored you, if not then I'd hate to say this but you are a
ghost. :D

Thats weird. Are you sure you didn't know her elsewhere and she was
avoiding you? Or maybe you intimidated her and she couldn't look at
you for some reason.

Maybe the waitress had a lazy eye and she WAS looking at you, you
inconsiderate b*tch.

If your friend was sitting next to you, isn't it possible that the
server was actually addressing you, but from your perspective (sitting
while she stood) it looked as if she was looking at your friend?

Ever see "The 6th Sense"?

I would love to give you the benefit of the doubt, but I am just
having so much trouble believing this story.

The only thing I can think of is that you personally know the
waitress, and there is some sort of feud going on between the two of
you, otherwise I agree that her behavior was rather strange.