PlanetFeedback sees a number of letters about receipts. Here's a new
twist:

A store called "Mikey's Hook Up" in New York has the following policy:

"Returns must be made within 14 days...with original receipt and an oatmeal
raisin cookie. NO FROSTING!"

For real.

Dear Wal-Mart,

I was in your store today to shop. I put a few shirts, a pack of socks,
and a pair of jeans into my card. I then went to the health and beauty
section and got a bottle of shampoo and a tube of Crest.

I went to the checkout and they said that it would be $79.65. I said that
I didn't think they should be charging me anything. Don't they know the
economy is bad? Things should be free because the economy is bad. By
charging for things, this hurts American families.

If you don't give things away for free, I'm not shopping there any more.
And then, you'll go out of business.

http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,1897362,00.html?cnn=yes

"The Real Problem with Credit Cards: The Cardholders"

You've figured out how to get into my profile, which is great. Seems that
after LadyMac and I got into a disagreement, someone decided to delete my
comments (but not hers), to remove my avatar, and un-share my profile.

Seems like someone is trying to send me a message.

Since I'm, apparently, not supposed to have an avatar or a public profile,
why not change my name.

For those of you that are smart enough to figure out how to get into this
profile, but don't know the name "Alex DeLarge," here's the deal:

Alex is the subject of an Anthony Burgess novel and the Stanley Kubrick
film "A Clockwork Orange."

This story centers around Alex, who is in a band of thugs. While there's
no question as to Alex's crimes, his fellow thugs run away. When Alex is
arrested, they hide out.

Despite their history as rapists and the like, the gang members become
police officers, spending their days lecturing citizens in proper behavior
and their nights continuing their crimes of cruelty. Their biggest target
is Alex who's been "neutered" by the government (he's brainwashed).

Seems that some thugs like to go around and harass others, while pretending
to be police officers.

Anyway, as for me, I'm not hiding out. Had a certain someone not decided
to pull my posts, remove my avatar, and turn off my public profile, I'd
still be me.

After all, unlike Alex who is brainwashed into being someone else, who else
could I be but myself?

That said, Deb... since I know you're in here... you know perfectly well
that I have nothing about autistic kids or those with disabilities. In
fact, if you knew me and my family, you'd know that it's not true.

About a week ago, a letter was posted here regarding trying on thong
underwear. The letter writer claimed that she'd always been able to try on
underwear at Victoria's Secret, so Fredrick's of Hollywood should also
allow her to do this.

The letter has since been pulled.

However, I did manage to get some information from Victoria's Secret.
Here's what Janet of VS said: "We do allow customers to try on panties but
ask that they are tried on over their panties. All merchandise is inspected
after the Fitting Room and when merchandise is returned to ensure that it
is saleable."

Who knows if our letter writer is trying them on over panties, but I
suspect that... well, since the letter was pulled... I'm sure it doesn't
matter.

Some people may, after reading my comments here, think that I'm
anti-consumer.

Not so.

Actually, I've very much pro-consumer. Being one myself and all.

I do believe that the business environment today makes is very hard for
customers to have the power they once did.

For example, we've been lead to believe that if a business doesn't take
care of their customers, someone else will.

Problem is that there are fewer practical choices. For some people, the
only way to get those prices is to shop at Wal-Mart.

Wal-Mart knows they have you. So they have little incentive to change.
They know you're not going to start shopping elsewhere.

The airlines? They all have the same policies. Don't like being charged
for baggage? Where else are you going to go? Soon, all airlines will
charge for baggage. Or they'll find some other fee or charge higher
prices.

You have nowhere to go.

The wireless companies? They have you with their termination fees.

In the end, trust me, the consumer doesn't have the upper hand. They
don't. And no amount of embarrassing Wal-Mart is going to change that.

But I happen to think that consumers do have something to help them
overcome: being smarter consumers.

People need to know how they can shop so as to better their chances of
success.

One example: receipts. We hear a lot about Target's return policy. Sorry,
but until Target loses enough business from this policy to make them
change, they aren't going to.

But as consumers, we can win. We just need to be smarter by keeping track
of our receipts (a manila envelope, placed on top of your microwave, where
you store all receipts). We need to give a receipt when we give gifts. We
need to save packaging until we're darn sure that the item won't need to go
back.

Credit cards and banks? Don't like the overlimit fees? The late payment
fees?

A smarter consumer would keep track of when things were due and would check
their balances.

In the end, big business has a power on us that we can't overcome by
whining. We overcome by knowing how they plan and working THEIR rules to
our advantage.

Because, you know what? They've done that.

Oh, and this doesn't mean that we should stop giving feedback. Feedback is
great because it lets businesses know WHY they are losing business.

But, know what? Unless they actually do lose the business, they aren't
going to care.

Take the person who's been mad at Best Buy for 3 years. Boycotted the
store. Told all his friend.

In the end, Best Buy has done very well without him or his friends.

Know why? Because Best Buy doesn't need them. Not because the customer is
wrong, but because Best Buy's successful business model works without these
customers. Ditto for Target and Wal-Mart and Delta and Citibank and
Verizon.

But...

The tides could change. Sprint is a good example. They've lost so many
customers that they need to do something different.

If we see Sprint regain its customers, perhaps this will serve as a model.
What did they have to do? What did it cost?

Until then, the best way to win against business is to be a better
consumer. When the consumer is smarter and takes steps to protect
themselves, the consumer is much more likely to win.

We sometimes (often?) see letters that talk about how something sucks. How
the service blows. How pissed someone is. And what a jerk the manager
was.

While it's being literal, how many of us stop to think what these words
really mean?

Take the following (made-up) example:

"Today, I went to Best Buy to buy a television for the advertised price of
$10. When I entered the store, I saw a sign that said the ad was a typo
and that the price of the television was really $1000. I asked the manager
to give me the advertised price, but he jerked me around and refused. That
really sucks! I'm so pissed that the manager didn't want to keep me as
customer. I told him that really blew and that I spent a lot of money in
gas. I felt like he wanted me to bend over. Best buy, your policy is
crappy and I don't appreciate a schmuck like your manager not wanting to
keep my business. He really screwed me and was acting like a total dick."

Let's review what some of these (and a few other) words really mean.

Jerk, jerked = Masturbation or performing "manual sex" on someone
Blows, blew = Oral sex
Sucks = Oral sex
Crap = Feces
Bend over = Participate in anal sex
S**** = Feces
F*** = Sexual intercourse
Screw = Sexual intercourse
Schmuck = Yiddish for the male reproductive organ
Dick = Male reproductive organ
Piss, Pissed = Relating to urine

Let's see how the above complain might be re-written with the literal
version of these slang terms:

"Today, I went to Best Buy to buy a television for the advertised price of
$10. When I entered the store, I saw a sign that said the ad was a typo
and that the price of the television was really $1000. I asked the manager
to give me the advertised price, but he gave me a hand job and then
refused. That really feels like fellatio! I've be urinated on and feel
that the manager didn't want to keep me as customer. I told him that
really was like oral sex and that I spent a lot of money in gas. I felt
like he wanted me to perform anal sex on me. Best buy, your policy is like
fecal matter and I don't appreciate a penis like your manager not wanting
to keep my business. He really had sexual intercourse with me and was
acting like a total male sex organ."

(We are allowed to say what we want in these blogger posts, yes?)

Folks: even if you don't mean the "literal" version, your letters come off
poorly when you use words like this.

One last thing: people that work in stores and restaurants are not girls
(or boys, for that matter). Imagine the following:

"I spoke to the cashier. The girl at the counter refused and really
screwed me."

Excuse me, but are you really implying that an underaged female had sex
with you? Gasp, at the Best Buy!?!

Often, we see letters written to a business about how lousy an employee is.
Lazy, gets things, wrong, doesn't smile.

Implicit (or explicit is many cases) is that as paying customers, we
deserve a level of respect above and beyond.

I've seen letters from people are are downright rude, but they expect that
an employee will just take it.

Employees are people. When you buy a shirt, sign up for a cell phone plan,
or eat at a restaurant, you have NOT purchased a human being.

This is a person that has their own problems. It may be someone who's not
at fault, but is the public face you see. Or it may be someone that
screwed up badly and is, for one reason or another, unable to resolve it.

You do not own this human being. Just as you have needs, desired, likes,
and dislikes, so does this person. Your order of chicken does not mean
that you get to harshly criticize this person, even IF they accidentally
dumped it on you.

Does this excuse bad behavior? Incompetence? Rudeness? Of course not!
You don't need to give up on demanding that you get what you paid for.

But you cannot do this at the expense of demeaning, demoralizing, or
condemning another person.

We get very few comments on ShopperCast, but a reasonable number of hits.

So...

Are any of you reading it? Is there something that'd make it better? More
useful?

Something that would it a "must read" site and not just a "I'll go over
there to see if there's anything" site?

I want it to be interesting, informative, and to get people to
participate.

Thanks!

I've been told that "many people feel that
once you get on your soap box you have no regard for other people."

So, I'm going to do the honorable thing.

"Many people," please let me know that agree with this statement. Feel
free to send me an e-mail saying "You have no regard for people, please go
away."

And, if "many" people want me to, then I respect that.

TwinkleToes has spoken. I'm a bad person who has already gotten on her
nerves, apparently. And, according to her, "everyone" (although she later
changed this to "many") agrees.

Clearly, many of you want me to go?

Vote me off the island and I will go.

Some of you may have seen the recent Carabba's posting, where a customer
received a $20 "pronto certificate" and later found that it was a "one
shot" deal. She was not given any refund or ability to apply her $10
balance to a future visit.

I wrote to Carabba's to ask them about this. I got a response from Andy
Jacobs, VP of Marketing.

You can see the details at:

http://www.planetfeedback.com/index.php?level2=blog_viewpost&topic_id=29617
2&reply_id=104051#anchor104051

Whether or not Carabba's policy is a good one, I want to recognize them for
getting back to me. Instead of ignoring my request for information, or
telling me that it was none of my business, they gave a clear reply.

Today, I was in your store on Lincoln Street and was looking at the new
phones. I asked one of the sales people to answer a question, but he said
that he was finishing up with a customer and would be with me "in a sec."

Well, it wasn't a second. It was more like 30. He lied.

So I shot him. Pulled out my gun, put it up to his head, and blew his
brains out.

The store manager called the police and had me arrested.

I've been a good customer with Verizon for 4 years. I'd think that you'd
recognize that my $35/month plan would buy the right to kill a lying
Verizon employee. No?

Is this how you treat good customers? Having them arrested and sent to
prison?

I demand that you drop the charges against me and treat me like the good
customer I am. If not, I'm going to tell all the guys in the yard to
switch to Sprint.

Remember, the customer is ALWAYS right. Always.

(For the satire-impaired, the above did not really happen. I think I need
to say this lest a certain child-hating person use this as evidence against
me).

This is just too good not to share.

http://money.cnn.com/galleries/2007/biz2/0701/gallery.101dumbest_customerse
rvice/index.html

A few PF users made some very nice comments about me today. Thanks.

Among them was someone that called me "a very intelligent jerk." The more
I think about that one, the better is sounds. If 2/3 of what people say
about me is that I'm "very intelligent," I can live with the 1/3 that says
that I'm a jerk.

:)

I read many letters from people who complain that a clerk, cashier, or
other employee was "rude" or "didn't show compassion."

First, I'm not sure that it's the job of most people to show compassion.
With the exception of grief councilors, I'm hard pressed to find any job
where unlimited compassion are a job requirement.

But that's besides the point.

What I don't understand are people who expect the corporate to take
responsibility for the forcing employees to be compassionate. Should
Blockbuster really be responsible because a single employee didn't show
compassion to the person whose condo burned? Should United be responsible
because an airline employee didn't hand money to a mother-of-3 whose
luggage was "lost"? Should Target be responsible because an employee
placed established procedures over the grief of a women that had
miscarried?

We'd all like the world to be a more compassionate place, yes. It'd be
nice if every person out there stopped and took the time to ask "how are
you doing," listened to the answer, and then went out of their way to help.
But, cynic that I am, I know that this doesn't and can't happen nearly as
much as we'd like.

And, more to my point, should it be a job requirement that every
customer-facing employee of every business show compassion?

And should the company be responsible when the recipient of said compassion
(or lack thereof) doesn't feel loved enough?

When was the last time YOU asked a Wal-Mart cashier how her day was? Asked
her about how SHE'S managing. Offered a ear and a shoulder to cry on?

As much as I want the world to be a nicer place, I'm not sure that my
Blockbuster rental buys me anything beyond the rental. I don't think it
buys me a "Oh, how awful for you" or a "What can I do to help?"

I'd be nice. But when it doesn't come, I just can't blame the head
office.

When it comes to compassion for the condo fire or the miscarriage... look
to your family and friends.

"When you need a friend, don't look to a stranger,
You know in the end, I'll always be there..." (When In Rome)

Attention! Compassion Incorporated is now open for business. We have
stores, credit cards, and other services.

If you can't pay your bills, no problem! We have compassion and all you
need to do is not pay. We understand.

Lost your job? Had an auto accident? Miscarriage? Fight with your
boyfriend?

No problem! We feel your pain and... heck, just don't bother paying.

We won't even ask for your reason because we know it hurts, so much, to
talk about. Proof? Fugetaboutit! We trust you.

Need to return something without a receipt? No problem! You lost it? No
problem. In fact, we'll give you double your money back because it's OUR
fault that you lost the receipt. We should have send someone out to track
it for you. Our fault. We're sorry.

Here at Compassion Incorporated, we don't need to make money. We're here
only to make sure that you never feel like you've been put out, bothered,
or inconvenienced.

Having a bad hair day? No problem. Whatever you need to buy today, it's
on us. That's how nice we are.

Don't shop at Wal-Mart or Target. They'll make you pay for things. Those
jerks don't care about your post nasal drip, flat tire, or the fact that
you got 12 diaper genies because people didn't bother to update your
registry. Our fault.

How can we afford to be so nice to you? Because we know, when we're having
hard times, you'll cover our backs. In fact, right now, the landlord is
coming for the rent. We don't have any cash, so how about you give us some
of yours.

What? You expect US, a business, to be compassionate... but then when WE
need help, you don't give a darn?

Well, we'd really like to be here to listen to your problems. But, hey,
our employees have to eat and because you returned that 3 year old toaster
without a receipt... well, we just don't have the money to pay them.

But that's not YOUR problem, is it?

So, come on in to Compassion Incorporated. We Care. So You Don't Have
To.(sm)

Ever seen those "buzz word" generators? You push a button and it generates
a phrase like "leverage our synergies for mission critical competencies" or
"Contain my tasty inferior dilemma" (see
http://www.joejohnson.net/phrase.htm for one such tool).

I've even see one that writes doctoral dissertations.

I want one for writing PF letters. You plug in all the common phrases and
it spits out a random letter.

Something like this:

Dear ,

I came to your place. I was not happy. People were rude. It was
overpriced. I had to wait too long. My call was transferred too many
times. I heard someone speaking Spanish.

The customer is always right. I was going to spend $1000, but you lost my
money. I'm a good customer. I think I deserve an exception from the
contract. I'm disabled. I'm elderly. I'm a 12 year old that got
pregnant. I kant spel. I overuse exclamation points!!!! I lost the
receipt.

I want my money back. I want an apology. I want the CEO to call me. I
want a gift card. I want a free sub. I want the clerk fired. I want
everyone in your entire worldwide operation retrained.

I'm here to warn people. I don't want anyone to disagree with me. Who do
you think you are? If I had known that people would disagree with me, I
never would have posted here. You monsters. I just wanted to warn people.
I'm never wrong. You're the ones that needs psychiatric help, not me.

I will never come back to your store, no matter what you do. However, I do
want you to buy me off. Or else I'm going to bad mouth you. I'm in a
national organization for people with 11 toes and I'm going to tell
everyone on our listserv never to buy from you. I have a lot of clout.
I'm rich. I'm from New York. I went to a good school. I didn't go to a
good school, but the clerk looked down on me because of it.

I was racially discriminated against. I want you to stop selling pets,
even though you're a pet store. I want you to stop selling meat, even
though you're a fast food place. I'm overweight and was offended by the
suggestion that I might consider a diet drink. I'm an immigrant and it's a
violation of the words at the Statue of Liberty for you to make me pay for
anything.

My flight was late. My credit card was overcharged. The quality of your
merchandise is bad. I didn't read the program rules, so I'm not required
to follow them. I can't get cell phone service from within my basement
bomb shelter.

Go out of business right now!

Shut up and serve me!

This is crappy!

I was raped!

They just laughed at me. They asked me to leave. I just left the book. I
lost the receipt. My kids love to sing the ABC song, over and over again.
If you can't control your kids, you shouldn't have had them.

My bill was wrong.

I'm an American. I deserve better. My drive-through order was wrong.
They've made this make 100 times, but I keep going back.

They used curse words. They egged my car. They drew a picture of private
parts. They were smoking weed. I didn't send it back because I know
they'd spit in my food. I left a tip, but want it back now.

I had to take off a week from work just to deal with this.

My kid is in the hospital.

Make better products!

The customer is always right. Always.

I hate Wal-Mart. But I shop there anyway.

Target would never treat me this way.

Target sucks.

I can't believe you're making me pay a late fee. I can't believe you
reported me to the credit rating agencies. I can't believe you charged me
an NSF fee.

This is the first time I made this mistake.

I've made this mistake lots of times before, and they NEVER charged me a
fee for it.

It's your fault I can't buy a house.

It's your fault I can't make love to my wife.

It's you fault that I'm bald.

It's you fault that my sports team keeps losing.

It's not my fault. Never is. The customer is always right.

I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY AND FOR SOME REASON THINK THAT USING ALL CAPITAL
LETTERS IS A GOOD WAY TO SAY IT.

i have something to say and see to think that using all lower case letters
is a good thing to do also i dont use punctuation or evin kar much abut
spelink wich is fyn bekawz you are not betir thin mee you can jist kis mi
but

As a matter of a fact, I am the most important person in the world.

I see so many letters for people who want SOMEONE ELSE to pay for mistakes.
So instead of ranting on this topic, I'll just give you a letter that I'm
NOT sending to Toyota. This really happened (ashamed to admit).

Dear Toyota,

Today, on my way to lunch, I opened the door of my 1999 Camery. On my way
into the driver's seat, I hit my head on the door frame, making me feel
woozy. Feeling woozy, I let the door swing shut, causing it to smack into
my left leg. In pain, I swung the door back out, almost hitting the car
next to me. I didn't. But I could have.

You should not make cars where people can hit their head. You should not
make cars where the door could close on someone's leg. You should not make
car doors that could be swung open, with force, by a pained driver in a
woozy state, in such a way as to ever hit anything else. Or even almost
hit anything else.

I want to return my 1999 car for a full refund. I want you to upgrade me,
for free, to a car that has safety features that prevent these sorts of
things from happening. Even if you need to give me a Lexus, which I know
you make and therefore should be cheap for you just to give me. If you do
not make any such car, then you need to go out of business. Right now.

We're talking safety here, people!

Sincerely,

J. Swift

P.S. The babies I ate for lunch sure hit the spot.

There are TONS of letters here from people who didn't speak to the manager.
In most cases, the OP doesn't say why. But, in a few, they do. Here are
some:

(1) If I told the manager (or send the food back or whatever), the business
would take revenge on me. This is most often associated with restaurants,
where people fear that complaining will result in their food being spit in
or otherwise doctored.

(2) The manager was no where to be found. Did you ask?

(3) The manager was a teenager. Common at fast food places. OK, but it's
the JOB of this kid to take care of the situation.

(4) The manager was a participant in the bad activity.

(5) I didn't want to park my car and go in.

(6) I was in a hurry.

(7) I was so mad, I couldn't even speak to the manager.

(8) I didn't think the manager would help me, so I didn't bother.

(9) I did speak to the manager and the issue was resolved. But I'm going
to write and complain anyway.

OK, people. You NEED to speak to the manager. This does a few things:

(1) It often resolves your immediate problem. For example, if no one has
come to take your drink order for 15 minutes, this alerts the manager that
there is an oversight. It's unfair to not give the manager the chance to
resolve the issue.

(2) When you write to corporate for a chain, all corporate is going to do
is forward your letter to the manager, anyway. It's rare that a manager
will be "fired" or "retrained" based on a few letters to corporate. And,
if the manager wasn't even given the chance to resolve the issue
him/herself, the manager has got reason to be mad at being fired. In other
words, you've robbed the manager their ability to do their job.

(3) You might get something for it. As I posted recently, there is a local
chain where notifying the manager will get the problem fixed ASAP and will
also get you free food or a gift card. Not that I'm suggesting making up
stories just to get freebies. But some places have management policies
where the manager wants to make you happy. Let them try.

(4) Some issues NEED to be resolved immediately. I love it when I read a
letter about a health or safety violation. Except that the letter isn't
going to reach corporate until a week later. And then, by the time it gets
forwarded back, it's 2 or more weeks. In all that time, nothing was being
done about the health/safety issue. Right? For example, if the bathrooms
are filthy, writing a letter doesn't get them cleaned. Talking to the
manager does.

(5) Some issues are best resolved "in the moment." For example, a mangager
can observe and resolve issues with a rude employee if he can witneess it
happening. A letter a week later doesn't help. A manager is not going to
fire an employee simply because of a letter, without observing the
problem.

(6) In a similar line, letters often lack important details. If you point
out, right then and there, which employee is causing the problem, the
manager can do something. Write a letter that says "Some employee, I don't
know his name, did..." then what is the manager supposed to do? Fire all
male employees?

(7) It puts the manager on notice. Your letter to corporate means a lot
more when you say "I spoke to the manager and the manager laughed at me"
than "I didn't speak to the manager." In the first case, the manager needs
to be trained/fired. In the second case, the manager's only crime was not
observing everything that was going on. But no one can observe
everything.

So, please... speak to the manager. If you're afraid of retribution, then
don't bother writing. A manager that would beat you up, throw eggs at your
car, or urinate in your food is likely the same person that'll call you up
at 3am and yell at your for getting them into trouble. You can always walk
out if you feel threatened.

If you're in a rush, then you'll try to come back and speak to the manager
as soon as you can. It's not as good as doing it immediately, but it's
better than letting weeks pass before a second-hand letter reaches the
manager.

I'm seeing a new (?) pattern in letters. It's from people who have a
situation like the following:

"When I upgraded my cell phone, I asked if this would extend my contract
and they said 'no.' I called back the next day, just to check and they
still said 'no.' Now, however, they tell me that my contract is extended
and I can't do anything about it."

People's red lights are going off. "Warning! I'm asking about something
(sometimes 2 or 3 times) because it doesn't sound right to me." Which is
good.

But then, after getting confirmation a couple of times, they are surprised
when, lo and behold, it was exactly what they feared.

The problem here, I'm sure, is that the people being called either don't
know or don't care. In a few cases, I suppose, it might be outright lying.
For example, I can see a salesperson in a cell phone store claim that
there would be no contract extension just to "make the sale." People lie?
Sure.

What has me, however, is that people seem totally amazed when things happen
just as they thought they would. In letters, people go to great length to
show that they called and were told something. In all but a few cases, we
don't have a name of the person making the claim.

If your red light goes off to call, it should remind you to get names and
get it in writing. "Oh, this won't extend my contract. Can you show me
where it says this." "Can you give that to me in writing?"

Lesson: never trust what someone tells you. Especially if you knew better,
in the first place.

This problem occurs a lot with cell phones. Your original contract, with
any changes they may have mailed you (note: if they claimed they mailed it,
it's as good as you receiving it, even if you didn't), is all that counts.
Unless you have something that CLEARLY states otherwise and CLEARLY states
that it overrides the original contract, it doesn't.

My cell phone contract says that plan changes require a contract extension.
When I get a free phone, they're extending my contract. If the clerk says
"no, the phone is free. You can cancel when you want," it's not true. It
isn't. If I was told this obvious lie (who are these people that actually
believe they can have a free phone, no strings?), I would ask for some
proof. "Show me where it says that?"

I place blame on the business, of course. But also on customers who just
don't seem to get it. Once again, if you believe that they are giving you
a free phone with no strings attached... well, I have a bridge to sell you.
If you believe that converting your individual plan to a family plan isn't
going to lock you in for 1-2 years, well, I'd like to be a customer of
whatever business YOU run because I'd run all over you.

Sorry to be uncharitable, but... if it's true good to be true... it is.

Now, that's go to be a good way to get attention.

Which is, of course, why a few people think that this is a great word to
use in complaint letters.

"Stop raping customers" or "I feel raped" are phrases that I see, every so
often, in PF letters.

After a recent letter where someone occused a camera maker of "raping"
customers, I decided to look up the word.

I saw the definition I was used to: "any act of sexual intercourse that is
forced upon a person."

It was not until I looked further did I find "Abusive or improper
treatment."

So, yes, "rape" can mean that you were treated improperly.

And, yet, I cannot get over the fact that someone has chosen to use a word
that is so associated with a terrible crime.

Does it belong in a business letter?

Here's my test: Pretend that you are performing your job (whatever it may
be). A customer, supplier, or other person that interacts with your
business calls you boss and says "[Your name] raped me."

How would this make you feel? Would you say "gosh, I didn't realize that I
had made a mistake which makes you feel wronged"? Would you say "Hey,
you're being offensive. I raped no one"? My guess, closer to the later.

I know I would be highly offended if someone accused me of rape. And so
would you.

So, why is it in a business letter? Are you using it to be extreme? Or
because you really feel violated. You feel as if someone was hiding in the
shadows, jumped out, ripped off your clothes, and forced you (in a very
violent way) to have sex?

Surely, $100+ for a camera cleaning is not even remoted like being
assaulted, abused, and degraded.

Is it?

One of the more popular types of letters is the "your employees don't speak
English" sort. Some make, in my opinion, legit complaints. If you visit a
business or call customer service, it only makes sense that the
customer-facing speak and understand English.

Personally, I don't care if the non-customer-facing people speak English or
not. As long as they can do their jobs and their lack of English skills
don't keep others from doing their jobs, so what?

Now, there is a fuzzy line between "doesn't speak English" and "speaks with
an accent." Legally, you can require that someone speak and understand
English to work in a position where communication with English speakers is
a requirement. You cannot, officially, refuse a job to someone simply
because they have an accent.

The trick employers use is to require "good communication" skills. If the
employer can't understand you, then they can simply say that you did not
have the communication skills needed for the job.

Let me say that again: for the job.

When I call customer service and get someone that isn't understanding me or
that I can't understand, it's a problem. Of course, I feel for the poor
CSR who gets a call from someone from a thick accent. The CSR is not
allowed to say "speak good English darnit" like the customer is.

What bothers me in some of these letters is the feeling that people should
be required to speak English. Several people seem offended that the guys
stocking shelves are speaking Spanish. Excuse me, but their job isn't to
speak to you. It's to open boxes and put things in the self. The guys in
the kitchen? They aren't there to recite poetry. They are there to fry
some potatoes.

What really set me off was when I saw two similar letters, sent minutes
apart, from two (one?) people who were mad that they received an ad for a
restaurant that contains both Spanish and English (with the English, it
appears in smaller letter).

So what?!? The ad wasn't meant for you. However, that doesn't mean that
you should not keep going to the place. Anyone refusing to visit a
business that has a nerve (gasp!) to actually put Spanish in an ad, is very
petty and... I'm sorry to say it... a bigot.

And don't hide behind "what about German or Arabic?" There's no
requirement that says that if you put out an ad in one language you have to
cover every language on the planet. It's a business and if they want to
advertise to people who speak Spanish, but not German, so be it.

And, no, it isn't making Spanish-speakers lazy. And no, all Spanish
speakers are not illegal.

Sure, it'd be great if everyone spoke the same language. Darn those
builders of Babel!

But, this is a great country that welcomes people. It's what we stand
for.

Some people come and force themselves to learn English. Other people join
communities where they can function well without it.

It's not just Spanish speakers. Around here, we have people from all over.
Korea. Vietnam. China. I live in an area where it's possible to go into
a store and see little English. Where the people who shop and work there
speak little. I am the outsider. And if I want to buy something there, I
need to know how to speak Korean. Want to know what's on the menu? Better
know Vietnamese.

The problem with Spanish-speakers is that it's the world's most spoken
first langauge. And our proximity to Mexico, Central, and South America
means we simply have more Spanish speakers here than any other language.
The Spanish-speaking communities have grown from enclaves to cover wider
areas. In many places in the Washington, DC area, Spanish is spoken more
than English. I, as a US-born "white" person, am a minority in my own
suburb.

I don't speak Spanish. I wish I did and try to pick up a few words. Why?
Because it helps me get along and to have a better life.

Does my learning Spanish make Spanish-speakers lazy? No. But it lets me
do more things. It's a choice I make: learn the language of my neighbors
to enhance my life. If I choose not to, then I'm at a loss.

But I don't whine about it.

Seeing Spanish on a sign, on a web site, or hearing "numero dos por
Espagnol" doesn't send me into a racist rage. Like some people.

Frankly, there are days when I think Spanish should be the national
language.

Por qu no podemos todos justo conseguir adelante?

We all make mistakes. However, there are certain linguistic mistakes that
really bother me.

"Could care less." No, actually, it's "couldn't care less." Mother
Theresa could care less. The Old Navy clerk COULDN'T care less.

"Irregardless" Well, "regardless" means "without regard." The prefix
"irr-" means "without." So, "irregardless" must mean "without without
regard" or "with regard." It's not a real word, people. I don't care what
the dictionary says. Unless, of course, it agrees with me. Which it
does.

"I asked here where the food was at." Actually, you asked him "where the
food was." No need to add that "at." Ending sentences in a preposition is
something up with which I will not put.

Run-ons. I don't mean where you use a conjunction (like "and") where you
really should have stopped. No, I'm talking about failure to use
punctuation. A typo is one thing. Simply writing words is another. What
does "He didn't say hello well you can kiss my butt this store should
close" mean? Commas, people!

All caps. Everyone (almsot) hates this. I have to wonder, do people
hand-write letters in all caps? Are these serial killers? Makes me think
of the movie Se7en.

Letters in mostly caps. OK, so you're too lazy to use the shift key.
Fine. You win. But then why are there 2 letters, randomly placed, in
lower case? I DON'T KnOW WHY YOU'D TAKE THe TIME TO HOLd THE SHIFT KEY fOR
MOST OF THE LEtTERS, BUt nOT aLL.

Contractions without the apostrophe. Again, typos happens. But some
people don't seem to realize that "dont" "cant" and "shouldnt" are not
words.

Writing letters like a 12 year old girl on the phone. Sorry to be sexist.
Writing letters like a 12 year old on the phone. "So I went to the store
and oh my goodness i've never seen a more rude person in my whole entire
life know what i mean?" No, I don't know what you mean. Or, more the
case, I don't care. You're writing a business letter, not changing the oil
in your cranium.

Letters in all (or mostly) lower case. Worked for one poet. Doesn't work
for you.

Exclamation points!!!! If you need to use more than one or two per letter,
you're using too many. I know someone who swears all the time. Now, when
he's mad, you don't know it because, well, his language is always that
colorful. Same here. Each exclamation point you use lessens the impact
ofthe others. Also, no need to use multiple in a row. There are only a
few cases where "!!!" is needed. And it's never two (!!). In the
pre-NC-17 days, you had X and XXX movies. Why no XX? Same here. If
you're going to go all the way, just do it. And, for heaven's sake, do not
use more than 3. 12 exclamation points is a picket fence. And Huck ain't
here to get someone else to paint 'em.

"Alot." It ain't a word. Nope. It's "a lot." And it means the place
where you park your car at the mall. What you want is "many" or "several"
or "too numerous to count." (Yes, I know I used it above!!!!!)

There's a difference between "less" and "fewer." You do not have "less
cookies." You have "fewer." Any more than you have fewer water. You use
"fewer" for things that can be counted. "Less" is for uncountable
quantities. Letters written with the wrong word are fewer understable.

There's a difference between "its" and "it's." I make this mistake, too,
even though I know the difference. Which just makes it all the worse when
someone else does it. So there.

Ditto for "their" and "there." I also make this make, but it's wrong. So
their.

Switching languages. Pick one and stick with it.

If you have to use a word from another language, know what it means. For
example, a certain popular Yiddish word starting with "shm" is NOT a stupid
person (or whatever else you think it does). It's male genitals. Would
you actually use that (ah hem) c-word in a letter?

Even some words in English are like this. I see an awful lot of people
feeling like companies are, well, performing hand-based sex acts on them.
Sure, we know what you mean. But, gosh. Unless the clerk's name is Rosey
Palms, you might want to find less colorful language. Comprende Senior?

As a follow-up to my entry "Thanks for Sharing" (scroll down!), here's
another thought.

Recently, I've seen several letters that were publically posted, but the OP
claims they never authorized it to be made public.

In all cases, these letters have generated long streams of comments, often
pushing it into the top 5 or so letters on PF. In all cases, a significant
number of the comments have been negative. In all cases, despite my
statements in "Thanks for Sharing," the OP reads the comments and argues
back.

And then, at some point, the OP says "I never wanted this letter publicall
posted."

Makes you wonder what happened?

Is there a bug in the PF software that's making letters public, even though
the OP didn't check the box that says "share my letter with others." If
so, why isn't PF fixing this bug?

Or, perhaps people just don't understand the words. In one exchange, I got
the feeling that the OP really didn't understand what they were checking.
15 Minutes of Fame seems like a great idea, until you find out that it
means that people can, gasp, comment on your letter.

My opinion? People think that the letter will be publically posted, but it
doesn't dawn on them that others will make (gasp) negative comments!

Maybe it's a bug in the software. Maybe people are just too lazy to read
when the check that checkbox. Maybe people can't comprehend.

For everyone's benefit, the wording as is follows:

"Yes, I would like to share my letter publicly on the PlanetFeedback site
for others to review, critique and discuss. My letter may also be
considered for "15 minutes of Fame" the most popular area on
PlanetFeedback. This also allows consumers to reinforce or add comments to
your letter."

What part of this isn't clear, people?

So, unless there's a bug in PF software (that either ignores what people
put or sometimes doesn't give this question) or the PF team (Mr. Helpful?)
is manually making private letters public (somehow I doubt this), I'm going
to be uncharitable and say that people simply can't read. Sorry, but I
think that it's clear. Why do so many people not get it?

OK, here's my biggest PF pet peeve. It's users who post a shared letter
without actually expecting anyone to comment on it.

I'm not sure why it's a surprise to people that someone would comment on
their letter. Did PF not make it clear to you that people can comment on
any shared letter?

This leads to two problems. First, some people post their letter and then
never come back to see the comments. While you're, of course, no obligated
to come back, in some cases it makes perfect sense.

For example, I often see letters that are confusing, contain missing
information, or for which people will post questions. Please, come back
and read these comments. In many cases, the comments are helpful because
they tell you that your letter is confusing or contain suggestions for
writing a better letter. If you don't see these comments, you might wonder
why the company never responded or responded in a "wrong" way.

The other problem is that, I believe, people's comments tend to be ruder
when people don't respond. If you come back and actually address what
people are saying, you're less likely to see a frenzy of rude comments.
Show that you want to engage in discussion and people will be nicer.
Really.

Of course, there have been a few cases where the OP comes back and gets
nasty back the commenters. In one case, the discussion lapsed into an OP
admitting to being a verbally abusive parent.

So, in some cases, keeping it to yourself might not be such a bad idea.

I've proposed, several times, that PF notify people via e-mail when someone
posts a comment or response. So far, this feature doesn't seem to have
been implemented. Every other web site I use of this sort has this
feature. Why not PF?

There's been a lot of debate about kids. Should Panera have kids meals or
should it be a kid-free place? Should supermarkets have carts shaped like
race cars?

Should kids even be allowed in the mall, supermarket, or in public at all?

The debate appears, at least from my vantage, to be between three groups:

(1) People who have kids and realize that it's darn impossible to make them
behave at every moment. Kids will be kids.

(2) People who don't have kids and object to the fact that the world is
setup for kids (or so they perceive).

(3) People who HAD small kids who were 100% perfect.

Personally, I think there's a total of 1 person is the entire world who
really has kids who a perfect. Who never get in anyone's way. Who never,
from birth, cried. Who never pulled something off a store shelf and who
never threw a tantrum.

If you're that one person, congrats. The rest of you are either liars or
have bad memories. Of course, your memory may be bad for a reason. Hint
hint.

To the other two groups: no one has entitlement to the world. Everyone was
a kid. Most (but sadly not all) kids will become adults. Some people
(regardless of age) are nice, polite, and good. Other people are rude,
obnoxious, and intrude on everyone else.

People with kids: you aren't entitled to have everything customized to fit
the needs of your kids.

People without kids: suck it up. Kids exist and, with only a few
exceptions, they will be be seen and heard. And, yes, sometimes, they
stink.

People with kids: they are your responsibility.

People without kids: it's 100% impossible to control every last movement of
a child. Just because a kid got away from us doesn't mean that we're
negligent.

People with kids: No, you really can leave the store and come back later
when you kid calms down.

People without kids: Really, I'm trying to calm him down.

People with kids: Be reasonable. A doll, small car, coloring book, or
music player/game device with earphone can occupy a child and keep them
quiet. On the other hand, if your child likes to run their little car all
over everything and everyone, it's not a good idea. Think of something
else.

People without kids: Be reasonable. If a business can do a little
something to provide entertainment to the kids, let it be.

People with kids: Some places, quite honestly, are not for kids.

People without kids: Few of us can afford a babysitter for every time we
need to go shopping. Therefore, we need to pick-and-choose. Supermarket?
Take the kids. Town Hall meeting? Spring for the $10/hour a babysitter
costs.

People with kids: It's not true that you can NEVER leave your kids with a
babysitter. Work within your budget. Look for other options, like
relatives, co-op with other parents, and so forth.

People without kids: We're not here to bother you. Really.

People with kids: Don't take offense if someone stops your child from doing
something dangerous. It's embarassing to have someone else grab your
child's hand before they knock over a display. Don't let your pride get in
the way. Say "thank you."

People without kids: Even consider volunteering to help out someone with
kids? I've met people, without kids, who give money to charity and donate
their time to causes. Who spend hours and hours trying to make the world a
better place by ranting on blogs. And, yet, would never think to offer to
watch a neighbor's child for an hour.

People with kids: Not everyone thinks your kids are cute.

People with dogs and no kids: Not everyone likes you dog. You may want to
refer to your pet as your kid (and, perhaps, use that to show how your dog
is better behaved than a human child), but it's not the same. It just
isn't. And you're stupid if you think that it is.

Point is, people, just because kids bother you doesn't mean that they need
to go away. It doesn't mean that parents are bad. It doesn't mean that
people with children can't ask for kids meals, fun things at supermarkets,
or Santa Claus in the mall.

It also doesn't mean that children need to run things, cause damage, or
generally harm the ability of the world to function.

Stop whining. All of you.

P.S. I have two kids: a pre-schooler and an infant. The pre-schooler does
scream in stores. I stop what I'm doing and we go outside until he can
behave. However, if the store has the big 'ol car-shaped carts, he gets to
ride in it. Sure, it takes up more room. But it keeps him quiet and
contained. And that, everyone, is well worth the extra space it takes up.
For everyone. Me. You. The clerks who don't have to find that he messed
with things on the shelves in the second I wasn't watching him.

In many letters on PF, I see the phrase "the customer is always right."

This isn't true.

Let's start with an easy one. If a customer says "2+2 is 5," they are not
right. They are wrong.

Therefore, there are infinite number of things a customer can be wrong
about. The customer is NOT always right.

A customer that believes that they deserve to have a car for free, simply
because "the customer is always right" is wrong.

A customer who says "I don't like the prices here, so I should be able to
pay less" is not right.

A customer who says that they should be able to violate a store's clearly
posted policy is not right.

A customer who thinks they deserve an exception because of "special"
situations is not right. You can ask. You can hope. But you cannot
demand. You cannot say "but I'm the customer, so do as I command."

The customer is not always right. The customer is sometimes very wrong.

However...

There is another saying. "Take care of your customers or someone else
will."

So, a business should evaluate each "wrong" customer based on their value.
If giving a customer an exception to the rules is better for the company
(not because the customer says so, but because it really is), then give the
exception. If the company will make money by letting to customer believe
that 2+2 is 5, then do it.

But, customers, you should not expect it nor demand it. If you make a
request (politely!) and it's denied, then you need to go elsewhere. Simple
as that.

Don't like the fact that the Wal-Mart clerk was rude. Don't go to
Wal-Mart. Don't like the fact that Target won't take back your merchandise
after 6 months? Then go find a store that will do that. Don't like the
fact that your Big Mac is always cold? Go to a different place to eat.

The customer isn't always right. The customer, however, can choose to go
elsewhere.

And, when there is no elsewhere to go, then the customer is the one that
needs to adjust.