This letter is a vast improvement over those you have written in the past; you're doing good! I agree, they shouldn't be charging for those little things, within reason (for example, 2-3 free with your meal, but if you want 10, you have to pay extra). IMO, many low wage employees DON'T care, this is just a stop on the job train while they wait for "something better."

I like the fact that all you ask for is something that will benefit all customers, not just a freebie for yourself.
Nice Work!