First a little background. My husband has very little family, mainly just his sister. There are some distant relatives but they live out of state. As a result, he's kind of adopted his sister's husbands family as his own. He considers them his family and calls P and J his nephews.

J is getting married on September 2nd. Of course we are invited and responded that we would attend. Well, I found out Sunday that his ex-wife is also invited and is attending. I found this out by accident when I mentioned taking my dress to the cleaners so it's done in time for the wedding. His daughter was with us and asked "What wedding?". I told her J and V's and she said, "Oh, I'm going to that too". Since I know our invitation did not include her, I asked her if she was coming with us. She told me no, she's going with Mommy.

I fully understand the fact that the couple is free to invite anyone they choose. What I'm upset about is that no one told us. If my stepdaughter hadn't said anything, we would have been completely suprised by her presence. At this point, I DON'T want to go. The only reason I'm still thinking about going is that I know I look HOT in my new dress. LOL.
The woman's hate for me and my husband is palatable. The closest I've ever been to being in a social situation with her is when we attended my stepdaughter's play and she was behind stage. Even then, I could feel her glare.

I also want to add that I've never really felt truly accepted by my husband's extended family. No one is outwardly mean but there are little things that let me think that they miss the ex. When we get closer to Christmas, I'll tell you my Christmas Eve story with them.

My husband says he'll go with whatever I decide. He's a little upset about this too. I just don't know. As I said, at this point, I really don't want to go.