God bless the individual who FINALLY invented the U-Scan. Seriously. There's nothing more satisfying than by-passing long lines, cashiers who no longer know how to say "Hello" let alone "Have a nice Day," and baggers who could care less what is thrown in with what. But with progress, sadly, often comes decline.

I was in Kroger's the other night, I think it was the day before Easter, and there was one cashier lane and the four U-Scan lanes open. Needless to say, the lines were horrendous. So of course, everyone heads to the U-Scan line to get out faster. Including people who've never used the U-Scan. Including people who conceivably have never operated anything more technologically advanced than their TV. I watched one woman stare at the screen, then at the package in her hand, then at the screen again for so long I began to itch.

I don't expect those born in the generations before my own to be technical wizards, but for the love of God people, when you see the lines are already fifteen people deep, stay away from the U-Scan! You're just asking for trouble! You're that guy going straight in the far right lane at a busy intersection during rush hour traffic. You're the bank customer that comes in with fifty deposits on a Friday afternoon while the rest of us tear our deposit slips in frustration. Check-Out Rage will be the biggest news item of 2006 if you don't use common sense here, folks. Don't say I didn't warn you!