I don't think you should get a refund. That's unreasonable.

We have been debating if we should take a Disney Cruisein lieu of Christmas. Mostly we come to the conclusion of waiting until the kids are older, like older teenage years and then let them take a friend, use the buddy system. That way my hub and I can take the break we need and they are responsible for themselves.

I agree that there should only be a certain number of kids allowed and they should have a personal counselor. They would know by the bookings how many! They should also schedule times for the children to be in there.
As for the nap, you know your child more than anyone else, how could they know your child's habits after a day or two? You should still be a parent, even on a cruise, no matter what they offer.