Hi Natalie. What a horrible experience. I applaud you for not wanting to make a "stink" on your daughter's birthday. It must have taken a lot of patience.

Somewhere in the beginning of this terrible tale, I would have gathered up the fam and told the server "you can cancel the order, we're leaving," and walked out. You are a fine mother, and set a good example.

I agree with Bill below. The manager was having a bad night, perhaps due to being shortstaffed or someone in training. The server sounds like she went on mental break when she should have been concentrating on how to make the customer more comfortable during this difficult time. She would know the food would be slow, and could at least keep the table updated. Maybe she could have helped somewhere in the chain to make things work better.

You did the right thing by leaving a suitable tip. Again, it shows class on your part that you left a tip at all. A server that reeked of cigarette smoke would send me right out the door. That is TOTALLY gross. I would think very carefully before returning. A manager should call you in response to this complaint.