How many of you were there, and how busy was the restaurant?

There is obviously no defense for badly prepared food, but when you say it took 20 minutes for a server to get to you and then 20 minutes for her to take your orders, and then a long time for the food to come, it makes me wonder how many people the server and the kitchen were dealing with. It also makes me wonder whether one of the reasons she was angry was that she was doing the best she could under difficult circumstances and being blamed for things that were not within her control. That wouldn't mean she is entitled to take it out on you, of course, but it would make it more understandable.

It may be that there were only 3 of you and that she and one or two other servers were only handling a couple of tables each -- but it would help to know that.

Congratulations on making it through. I get my primary care from a nurse practitioner (I have met "my" doctor once, just as a formality, but have never needed anything the nurse couldn't handle -- when I was having a lump checked at a different facility they somehow latched on to "my" doctor's first name instead of his last, and I had no idea who "Dr. Frederick" could possibly be), and I deal with a specialist's nurse on a regular basis; if I ever made it through nursing school you can bet I'd want a nice night out as a reward.