Sounds like she did apologize. And compensated the meal. Like she should have. When I react, I am up and out of wherever I am. Check, food, and apology be damned. My husband gives a quick explanation, and lets them know we will be back. Might be a while.
I have several food allergies. Banana's are the most lethal of them. And since I work in a grocery store, I keep Benadryl close, as I can't even touch them. Epi-pen at the pharmacy as well. When I go out to eat, I let the server know of my allergies when I place my order. At that time, I also let them know if I ingest the allergens, I will be sick...quickly. When I get my food I check it carefully. If at that point I am satisfied, I eat. Otherwise I send it back. Since we tend to return to the few restaurant we eat at, they know us, and are prepared. The onus to check your food is on you!!
Would also have to wonder how much Benadryl you took. I know it makes me sleepy, but stupored?