NJA

It seems to me to be a great opportunity for honest discussions about
language and communication. I normally only get that in the classroom.
That's why I'm really liking our Imus PFB discussion...I love it when
I and someone with an alternate viewpoint come to an amicable
agreement, like my conversation with Peanut's Mom, and we both come
away with new things to think about as a result.

Peanuts mom is a nice lady. She always has something interesting to
say. It could have stayed amicable in my last debate too but
unfortunately the other person brought personal issues into it. I'm
glad for you that you are having a great experience. I think that is
how it should be :)

I soooo miss this site. Ever since I started grad school, I have
absolutely no time for it. I miss this site and lazylaces.com. And
ebaumsworld.com. And every other site I used to hang out at. Well,
that's it. Nice skimming the latest debates. Talk to you again in a
month.

Well, I've worked my last day of customer service. Well, maybe I
shouldn't be so hasty, you never know when finances will dictate a
second job.

As of Friday, I have been laid off/quit. A little of both. First they
told me I was laid off, then they told me they had room for me and
asked if I'd like to stay. I couldn't - the university I'm beginning
at Monday said I cannot hold outside jobs without their permission,
since in addition to my grad studies I'll be teaching a class. So I
politely turned them down.

After around ten years of customer service, I must say it's had its
ups and downs. There's nothing like finding an answer for a truly
distraught consumer, particularly when its an answer you had to work
for, and hearing the gratitude in that customers voice when you
provide them with a solution. On the flip side, I've been told to "go
to hell" because a customer couldn't find her favorite soap and to
"put a f***ing supervisor on the phone" by a customer to whom I hadn't
said much more than "hello." Ups and downs like any job. I'll remember
the ups fondly, and laugh at the downs.

So I'm off to begin a new career shaping the impressionable minds of
America's youth *insert evil cackle here*. But the next time you pick
up your phone to call customer service, or approach the customer
service desk at the store, remember me and be kind. We are the front
lines, we proudly weather the abuse (some of it justified) prompted by
policies we don't establish concerning products or services we don't
design, but we do it not just for the pay (which, with the exception
of my last job, I never considered impressive) but for the
satisfaction of representing our companies and respresenting them
well. Sometimes we're worn raw from the weathering, but trust me
folks, most of us care.

Best of luck to the co-workers I've left behind and all my peeps in
the csr business. Keep your head up, do your best, and may you always
keep those customers in mind who make it all worth it.

...can't stop playing...Grand Theft Auto Liberty City Stories...need
sleep...but must complete the missions...everything's dark....

And to think Final Fantasy XII is coming out in October. I'm doomed.

...without the contact. I no longer consider myself a newbie, as I've
been here a couple of months. In those months I've witnessed newbies
venture forward with questionable complaints, and PFB veterans
respond, sometimes constructively, sometimes scathingly. Then the
newbie attempts to silence them with their newbie wit. Big mistake.
The PFB veterans deftly exact a few crushing blows that bring the poor
newbie to his/her knees (i.e. "I could cry with frustration," "Why are
you people so rude?" etc).

So, I have decided to do my part to help those newbies who insist on
becoming combatitive (or posting inane letters) come in swinging.
Below are a list of rebuttals that are sure to be effective against
the most devastating onslaught.

1. Get a life, loser.
2. Why don't you find something to do other than posting rude comments
on a message board? (ineffective after your 20th post)
3. Why don't you learn to spell? (there must be an actual spelling
error, and you must quote it for full effect)
4. I hope your children don't grow up with your attitude. (Low blow,
prepare for full combat)
5. I don't know you, why do I care what you think? (this WILL be
followed by a reminder that you chose to share your letter, so be
prepared to pretend you didn't know you did)
6. STFU
7. ROTFL
8. LMAO
9. ROTFLMAO
and my personal favorite...
10. Whatever.

Remember, if you survive this intial baptism by fire, you may find PFB
to be an interesting place to hang out when work gets boring. So hang
in there, and best of luck.

Maybe you've heard that joke about Americans? It was in a movie I saw
recently. "You call a person who speaks three languages trilingual. A
person who speaks two is bilingual. What do you call a person who
speaks just one language?" "American."

I keep having consumers who call in complain that they have to press
one for English, and I honestly don't get why people are so worked up
about it. First of all, it's a press of a button, at the beginning of
a call where you'll probably press two dozen more. Second of all, why
be so offended that a large group of Americans speak a different
language than you? In Europe and Canada, that's the pretty normal.
Once, at the U-Scan, I chose the option for Spanish just to see how
much of it I could translate. Foreign languages don't threaten me.

English is not going anywhere, and the Mexicans aren't "taking over."
I dislike illegal immigration as much as the next guy, but if you're
here legally, aren't you entitled as an American to speak any language
you want? And aren't corporations free to cater to you if they choose?
Why get so worked up about it?

I posted today on the Chuck E Cheese topic to respond to people who
were attacking the parenting of someone they knew as much about as a
paragraph and a half letter written to a coporation can reveal -
implying she needed to learn to "watch her own damn kids." I started
my post with something I've observed as true: people love to tell
people 1)how to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and 2)how to
raise their kids. I should have added a third - people love to tell
people 3)when they're making "excuses," the worst crime against
morality and self-sufficiency one can imagine.

And any parent will tell you that no one is a greater expert on how to
raise kids as someone who doesn't have any. Even when they have
them, they're not too much better - my sister, bless her heart, was
going to write a book on how to raise teenagers...when her two were
three and five. What makes people think raising kids is so friggin'
easy that they can spot an inadequate parent a mile away in a
sandstorm? Not to say there aren't some parents who obviously deserve
criticism - in cases of neglect, abuse, etc. But it's as if people go
out of their way to criticize the average parent, as if through their
criticism they're reaffirming their own superiority.

But I've learned a long time ago that nothing's harder to change than
someone else's mind. So the parents among us might as well learn to
grin and ignore it, and pray heartily that these people come to
remember how easy it all seemed when and if they have kids of their
own.

An unprecedented third post in a day, but I'm curious. How do you all
manage to post so much? I'm at work, and it just so happens most of
our jobs have been outsourced to people they can pay half of what we
make. That's A-OK for me, I had to leave by summer's end anyway. But
all the calls have been routed to these new call centers, and now I
sit here waiting twenty minutes between calls, taking what's left. But
you guys keep me entertained. Thanks Planet Feedback!

What about you guys? I mean some of you post from 8 in the morning
till late at night. What should you be doing right now? (don't worry,
I won't tell your boss ;-)

How weird that I should post twice on one day? But having my daughter
as my new avatar prompts me to share our conversation from last
night-

Her: Will I look like you when I grow up?
Me: *Head inflating* You sure you want to?
Her: Well I'll be skinny.
Me: *Head deflating back to normal size* Yeah, let's see how skinny
you are after three kids.
Her: I'll work out. I'll sit in that little black chair [from the
commercial] and do sit ups and run.
Me: *Head actually shrinking at this point* Go play.

God love her.

I'm developing a theory from reading complaints on PFB. I'm starting
to think that 90% of these people with a weird sense of entitlement
(e.g. the guy with the Best Buy warranty) or a drive to get over on
the company (e.g. Miss Slip and Fall) or the inability to understand
that employees make mistakes (take your pick) have never, ever, EVER
held hospitality, customer service, or public relations (with direct
consumer contact) positions. That just has to be the case. I was on
the line with some 800# the other day at home, I can't even remember
why now, but I was getting nowhere with the representative. So finally
I said, "You know what? It sounds like you're really trying to help me
and you just don't have the information or authorization to get me
what I need. So I'd really like to speak with a supervisor to see if
maybe they can take it further, thanks." My husband looks up and says,
"Wow, the way you asked was so nice!" I answered, "Of course. I'm a
phone rep."

With this in mind, I think it should be mandatory that every consumer
should have to spend one day serving on the front lines and see things
from the other side of the register. I can't help but think it would
make some of these people much more reasonable consumers, and far less
annoying people in general.

I must admit that since finding this site I've been eagerly awaiting
for a company to piss me off so I can post it on PlanetFeedback.com
and have people replying to me where they're all like, "Get real!" and
I'm all like, "Shut up, dude, you don't know a thing about me, and I
don't care what you think anyway!" and they're all like, "Well if you
don't care, why'd you click 'share letter'?" and I'm all like, "Cuz
it's a free country and I'll do what I want" and they're all like,
"It's 'cause not cuz, short for because, learn to spell!" and I'm all
like, "I'm an English major about to graduate summa cum laude, but
thanks for the EDUCATION" and they're all like,"Turn the friggin caps
key off" and I'm all like, "It's friggin', not friggin, now who can't
spell?" and then I get a free coupon for food or groceries or
something. Problem is I've got so many real problems in my life, I
forget to notice when McDonald's doesn't give me enough ketchup
packets or whatever. I'll try to be more vigilant in the future.

Hello to anyone who might be listening! Today I'm on
www.thehansofoundation.org, having been led there from
www.sublymonal.com, having seen THAT on a commercial during Lost. It
has to do with the show, so any other Losties with clues for the site
let me know!

1.) Yes, we're still here. Where else would we go? It's not like we've
got a call on the other line, or we're going to put the headset down
long enough to yell at the kids. We're still here. Please stop
interrupting yourself every five words to ask.

2.) And while you're at it, please stop interrupting us.

3.) No, you may not speak to a supervisor. At least not until you've
told us why. Of if you insist on making this your first request,
please be honest enough to word it as following: "Hello. I think you,
as a mere call center rep, are likely of limited intellect. Anyone
with any skill, empathy, or ability is likely to have been promoted to
the level of supervisor. Therefore, please put her on the phone at
this time, and, after having done so, you may resume your previous
drooling." And you must excuse us if our limited intellect allows no
more elevated of a response than, "Yo momma."

4.)Every two minutes or so, pause to consider whether or not we care
about what you're saying. You might be surprised how often the answer
is no. We are evaluated based on how quickly and efficiently we can
answer your concerns and get you off the phone. Giving a run down of
the weather forecast in your area for the remainder of May is not
conducive to that process.

5.) No, we can't get it to you any faster.

6.) No, we are not sitting around playing Bid Whist laughing about
your extended hold time. We have no control over staffing levels.

7.) Threatening legal action will get you nowhere. Legal is not our
department. Legal makes more money than we do. If you'd like to be
their headache, be our guest.

8.) We will not loose our jobs for hanging up on you if you swear at
us. And as hanging up on someone is always fun both in our
professional and personal lives, feel free to swear at will.

9.) We know when you're lying. Stop it.

10.) We get a strange sense of job satisfaction from helping a
consumer in need. But we owe you nothing. You went down to your local
grocery store and bought a $10 whatever, not our souls. We are not the
Igor to your Dr. Frankenstein. You will not topple our multi-million
dollar corporation by refusing to buy our brand anymore. If you
somehow did, we'd just go work somewhere else anyway. So stop
threatening, pouting, shouting, and fussing, grow up, and let us do
our jobs. Now, if you'll excuse us, there's a call on the other line
and we've got to go smack the kids.

God bless the individual who FINALLY invented the U-Scan. Seriously.
There's nothing more satisfying than by-passing long lines, cashiers
who no longer know how to say "Hello" let alone "Have a nice Day," and
baggers who could care less what is thrown in with what. But with
progress, sadly, often comes decline.

I was in Kroger's the other night, I think it was the day before
Easter, and there was one cashier lane and the four U-Scan lanes open.
Needless to say, the lines were horrendous. So of course, everyone
heads to the U-Scan line to get out faster. Including people who've
never used the U-Scan. Including people who conceivably have never
operated anything more technologically advanced than their TV. I
watched one woman stare at the screen, then at the package in her
hand, then at the screen again for so long I began to itch.

I don't expect those born in the generations before my own to be
technical wizards, but for the love of God people, when you see the
lines are already fifteen people deep, stay away from the U-Scan!
You're just asking for trouble! You're that guy going straight in the
far right lane at a busy intersection during rush hour traffic. You're
the bank customer that comes in with fifty deposits on a Friday
afternoon while the rest of us tear our deposit slips in frustration.
Check-Out Rage will be the biggest news item of 2006 if you don't use
common sense here, folks. Don't say I didn't warn you!

Hello! Inspired, huh?