Venice

There is currently a letter to Aces Bar & Grille about tipping not
being mandatory. While that may be true, it doesn't necessarily mean
it comes without consequence.

In what I believe is a separate incident, two college students were
arrested, handcuffed and transported from the Lehigh Pub in Bethlehem,
PA after failing to pay a mandatory 18 percent gratuity. The
circumstances are very similar to the letter, but apparently this
occurred in a different restaurant.

So next time you're thinking about not leaving a tip for ANY reason,
keep in mind that you might find yourself behind bars.. and I don't
mean the ones that serve drinks!

http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/SmartSpending/blog/page.aspx?post
=1393099&_blg=1,1393099

A major part of forming an opinion about a company or product is
determining the credibility of a letter. The reality is that letter
writers are going to paint themselves in a good and favorable light
in order to make their complaint sound valid, or they're not going to
include all the details in their letter. That's understandable. But
that's also why hearing from other people, especially those with
inside information, is crucial.

I want to see responses to a complaint before I am willing to write a
company off based entirely on a letter. There are always two sides,
and it's better to hear different opinions, even if it's only
speculation, than to make a decision based on one side only. That's
why I think comments serve a valuable purpose. If we took every
complaint at face value, we'd boycott everything. There has to be
some skepticism to balance things out and to help us make logical and
informed decisions.

I think PFB would prefer to do away with commenting altogether, but in
my opinion that would be a terrible disservice to consumers who visit
the site to research companies and products. I think comments help
provide readers with a broader picture than the letter alone.

I do not know how helpful PFB is to letter writers, but I personally
do not find the site to be as helpful without comments. And with
commenting down to a minimum, I now realize just how important they
are.

When I first found this site, I was thrilled to see a place where
disgruntled consumers could speak out and exchange information.
However, the letters made me realize that I was a bit behind the times
when it came to the extent of consumers' expectations and sense of
entitlement. There were so many complaints that just seemed
insignificant to me. Things that people used to accept as part of life
were now perceived as enormous inconveniences and opportunities to
make a quick buck or get a free meal. I'm not saying that all the
complaints were trivial, but it seemed that people were finding fault
with just about everything from rude employees to cold fries, perhaps
for a moment in the spotlight or to possibly come out ahead. It was
intriguing, to say the least.

Just as intriguing were the people who commented on the letters,
especially the ones that hoped to bring these consumers back down to
Earth with a hefty dose of reality. And that's how I first became
familiar with someone who often shocked me with her comments and was
at times offensive but ended up being my good friend.

She was a member of this long before I came along and was known for
her blunt remarks and honest reactions and opinions. It was
understandable why some people were put off by her style, but when I
realized that we had a lot in common, I got to know her better. And
I'm so happy I did. She is one of the most honest and trustworthy
people I know. And despite her tough girl act, she is filled with
kindness and compassion. Anyone who took the time to get to know her
would agree.

As a loyal and addicted member of PFB for many years, she participated
frequently with comments and discussions, as well as writing letters.
When the old moderation program was implemented, she never complained
and even said she understood why moderators were needed. She followed
the rules to the best of her ability because she didn't want to put
the moderators on the spot. She didn't whine or storm off like some
others did but simply played by the rules. I had a lot of respect for
that.

And now my respect for her has grown. She was recently banned from PFB
when her frustration with the site forced her to speak her mind. As
usual, her words were harsh, but they were also truthful. She stood up
for herself and for others knowing that it would be a risk, and it was
no surprise when she was banned. When she told me what happened, the
first thing she said was that at least she could still read the
letters because that's what she loved the most. We used to joke about
how we were both hopelessly addicted to PFB and would probably never
completely leave. Well, now she's completely gone. She can't even read
the letters.

I'm trying to think of a way to end this post, but I'm coming up
empty. I don't know what else to say. Nothing good can come of this.
It just amounts to another lost member.

Remember the story about my roof?...

Well, once again I'm sitting at home minding my own business and
trouble knocks at my door in the way of a letter informing me that my
refrigerator is possibly part of major recall of models that can go on
fire.

So I stick my head inside the refrigerator looking for the
model/serial numbers and am somewhat relieved to see that the serial
number is one digit off.

We've had this refrigerator for almost nine years, and other than
despising the user-unfriendly design, it has served us well and has
never needed any maintenance or repair.

But the power of suggestion can be a forceful thing.

Ever since receiving the recall notice, I've been noticing an
occasional burning smell inside the refrigerator that I am convinced
was never there before. I tried telling myself that it was my
imagination, but it seems to be getting worse. I asked my daughter,
who is not easily alarmed, if she smelled anything unusual, and she
confirmed the smell of smoke or something burning.

I really, really don't want to replace the refrigerator right now.
Not only is it a lot of work, but I looked at new ones and don't like
any of them.

So, what are my choices?

~Replace the refrigerator now with something I don't like.

~Wait for it to start smoking and hope that I'm home at the time.

~Keep telling myself that there will be no fire, and it will just burn
out.

And to top it all off, my Sears card has probably been canceled due to
non-use, and I would most likely want a Sears Kenmore if I do buy a
new refrigerator.

Did I mention that I really don't want to replace the refrigerator?

Yes, it's true! I sent out emails to every member of PFB in an
attempt to brainwash them into agreeing with me and forcing them to
post comments that would result in being suspended and banned!

Wait, it gets better!...

I did it because I wanted to hurt Greg!

Seriously folks, could this get any more ridiculous?

Please bear with me. Or better yet, don't even read this if you're
tired of the nonsense.

I have been put in the awkward position of being accused of something
that simply isn't true, and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do about
it. I could just not say anything and hope that the truth will
prevail, but under the circumstances, I feel the need to explain.

Apparently there are people who believe that I have been contacting
members and riling them up to the point of being suspended or banned.
I understand the need to blame someone for what's going on here, and
that I'm an easy target, but I can't just let these accusations go
over my head.

I have NEVER contacted anyone at any time to ask for a following, to
gain support or to encourage them to post comments. On the contrary,
people have contacted me for information, advice or to simply let off
steam. I was not going to pretend that I did not agree with their
concerns. And I have actually been motivated by them .

I was asked by Rowdy to post a comment in my profile saying that he
was suspended. I decided to post it in his blog so the people
involved in the conversation there would know why he wasn't
responding. I didn't realize that he was unable to see the comment
and found out later that he could not even access the site. However,
the post was written for him and the people involved in the
conversation, and no one else. I thought that was obvious, and I
didn't see anyone lining up to join forces. However, some people took
it the wrong way.

Sometimes I am given too much credit for having the ability to
influence people or change things. Much of what I say is off the top
of my head or thinking out loud, and I am often surprised when on
occasion people agree with me because I usually feel like I'm in it
alone. This idea that I am somehow forcing people to have the same
opinion as mine and then encouraging them to comment is absurd and
delusional. Not only would I never do anything like that, but I'm
just not that important.

The only reason I'm bringing this up again is because I am tired of
being accused of things that are not true. I did not have the email
addresses of the people who were suspended or banned prior to them
contacting me, however, my address has always been in plain sight.
Isn't that proof enough that I am not instigating a revolution?

Is PFB going to take any responsibility at all for the problems on the
site, or are they just going to blame everything on me?

The reason I posted here was to get this away from Rowdy's blog. I
asked several times to move the discussion elsewhere but was flatly
denied. So now I'll be the one criticized for doing it here.

It's funny. I finally gave in to the fact that I was fighting a lost
cause. I've been trying to move forward and make the best of it, but
I somehow got dragged into something that I never intended or expected
to gain any momentum. I really don't know what I'm supposed to do
anymore.

After its second major overhaul in less than ten years, Walmart is
having another grand reopening! The last remodeling attempt was a
waste of time and money. After months of construction, rubble and
noise (much of which occurred over customers' heads), the store looked
no different than before. But this time I can actually say it looks
better. Of course there is still the same Walmart "feel", but the
layout is completely different and the aisles are wider. I only took
a quick look, but I'm anxious to go back and check it all out.

Coincidentally (?), the supermarket where I shop has implemented a new
pricing program. Yes!.. lower prices!!! I don't need lower prices to
keep me out of Walmart, but hopefully this strategy will work on the
people who are fooled into thinking Walmart is cheaper.

For a small area, we have a lot of competition here. There are two
major supermarkets (Shop Rite and Stop & Shop), in addition to
Walmart. There are two Rite Aids (used to be three) and a large CVS,
along with Stop & Shop pharmacy and several privately owned ones. Oh,
and let's not forget Target, which has a little bit of everything and
competes with all the other stores, including Kohl's!

I love competition.

No, not the one I caught on vacation, but the people who think they
are a "good catch" for businesses and should be treated like royalty.


Sorry, but I don't understand the mindset that businesses have to bend
over backwards to keep a customer and give in to every demand. Yes,
there was a time when businesses might have viewed customers as always
being right, but things have changed.. and drastically.

When I first discovered PFB, the one thing that amazed me the most was
the blatant sense of entitlement. I wondered when people became so
unforgiving and picayune about the smallest and most insignificant
inconveniences. Things that in the past were overlooked or tolerated
as being a part of life. Should one minor mishap in a restaurant or
store subject a business to outrageous and unreasonable customer
demands? And even worse, the threats that ensue when businesses
refuse to give in?

That's not the way it used to be. I've been a consumer for a long
time, and I remember when businesses and customers were on the same
side. Businesses were willing to do whatever it took to keep
customers, and customers had the decency to accept no for an answer.
They had more pride than to squabble over a dime or demand special
treatment. If special treatment was offered, it was genuine and not
from the fear of being badmouthed, especially on the internet. There
was a common ground back then. A feeling of being in it together. An
understanding. And that's what is sorely missing today.

I am neither pro-consumer or pro-company. I have always been
pro-fairness. I won't let a company walk all over me, and in return I
do not take advantage of companies by making threats of boycotting,
badmouthing, or anything else. If I find myself at odds with a
company, I always look for a compromise. You might be surprised how
often companies are more than willing to work with a customer who has
a good and fair attitude. I don't really think it's necessary to
threaten a company with an ultimatum. If you go about it the right
way, you have a good chance of coming out ahead. You might not get
exactly what you expected, but at least you'll walk away with some
dignity and sense of good faith.

If you found your way in here, then I guess you're wondering why I
closed my profile. Under the circumstances, I thought it was a good
idea for my blog to take a vacation. Since I have so many objections
to what's been going on, it just felt wrong to continue posting blog
entries. I'm hoping that things will change soon so I can open my
profile and continue to bore you all with my corny stories.

In the meantime, I'll still be reading, posting and checking things
out. You can leave comments here if you'd like. I'll check in every
once in a while to see if there's anyone here.

Frito-Lay discontinued its Tostitos Restaurant Style Salsa in 2007 to
make room in its lineup for new dip flavors, including Fritos Zesty
Bean and Cheese, and Tostitos Creamy Spinach. But devotees were not
willing to let go of the discontinued salsa, which they said lived up
to its promise of matching what they got at restaurants.

The company received more than 1,600 phone calls and e-mails within a
few months asking for the product's return. That was more than twice
as many as for any other product that year, Frito-Lay's Snack Chat
blog reports, and the requests kept coming in 2008.

Impressed, the Tostitos marketing team responded by bringing back the
product. Frito-Lay says its response proves that it's worth telling
the consumer-affairs department what you think.

So far this summer has brought two tragedies that have changed the
lives of so many people forever.

The crash on the Taconic is just inconceivable to me. How does a
mother with a van load of kids end up behind the wheel with alcohol
and marijuana in her system? There's something so wrong about this.
I just can't make sense of it. And there's a slim chance of ever
knowing what really happened because the eight people involved are
dead.

And now another accident over the Hudson River. Only this time there
were no survivors after a small plane collided with a tour helicopter,
causing both to crash into the water.

This summer needs to come to an end quickly. It has just been a time
of grief for so many people.

They have been really sloppy lately. Not so much spelling thanks to
the built-in spellchecker. But I've been leaving words out of my
sentences causing them to make no sense. I've managed to catch some
mistakes before posting, but a lot are getting by. Maybe it's just
the lazy, hazy days of summer.

Hopefully, better when the over get back normal soon.

See!.. I did it again.

Well, actually one request. But it was a very special request by
Renee (rxgirl) who is sending her little guy off to kindergarten.

This was written by the former editor of my local newspaper, Mike
Levine, who passed away suddenly in 2007. Of all his countless
columns, this one is timeless and probably the most memorable.

Warning: Get out the tissues.


Mike Levine, Executive Editor
Times Herald Record

The First Day of School
September 5, 2006

Dear reader,

I wrote this column a decade ago. Since then, parents have told me
it's a
way they mark the arrival of September's first school bus. I've added
a few
lines for today. Here's to a safe and healthy year for all our
children:

Quick, before they leave this morning. Take a good look. Touch their
faces,
run your hands through their hair.

We got antsy with them last month, but now we want time to stand
still.
Like falling leaves and chilly mornings, some great force signals us
today.
We are aware of life passing.

See the kindergartner with a brave, bewildered smile watching her
mother
cry as the school bus pulls away. The high-school freshman with a lump
in
his throat hears his father whisper everything will be OK. Brothers
and
sisters who fought all summer now hold hands.

Today is proud, today is helpless, today is tomorrow. This is a
special
morning, wrenching and sacred.

As a young reporter, I'd wonder why. What's the big deal about the
first
day of school? I would write down quotes in my notebook and
comprehend
nothing.

Then I became a parent. I found out. We mark time by today.

On this morning, we remember our own parents and our own childhood. We
are
filled with the smell of old raincoats, the sticky bond of classroom
glue,
the childhood knot of worried excitement. We were so small and lost.
(Secret: A part of us is still lost. We tell no one.)

Now we have children of our own. On this morning, we remember the
holy
moment of their birth.

We see this is all just a matter of time. Once, we thought our
children
were ours alone. Each September, on this day, we learn better. Nothing
is
ours to keep.

Time passes through our eyes this morning. We see our children as
newborns,
we picture them as grown-ups. We see them walking their own children
to
school.

Time passes in the beat of a heart. I have seen my first kindergarten
boy
walk into his dorm on his first day of college. A few days ago, my
younger
son left for college. I stood there, at once empty and full, as
frightened
and proud as the morning his first school bus pulled away.

Come on, it's getting late. The bus is coming up the road. I'll keep
this
short.

Make sure they have everything they need. Double check. Write their
name on
the book bag. Sweetheart, did you remember your lunch money? Dad,
don't
call me mushy stuff in front of the other kids.

They are right. Like the summer birds leaving us, our children know
what to
do. Like September leaves waving on the trees, we, too, give way to
the
winds of change.

It's getting crowded down there again, and I hate when everyone has to
crouch in the corner. It's hard to listen when there's no room to
breathe.

I sent a suggestion to Maegan about the moderation rules, and it made
me think of something else. I'm not a fan of extreme moderation,
mostly because it's so subjective. And when the term "or variations
thereof" appears repeatedly in the rules, there's a risk of one
opinion being inconsistent. So I started to think that along the
lines of the Kitchen Table, there could be a panel to determine
comment removal. I'm not talking about the obvious ones, but ones
that are open to interpretation. What's inappropriate to one person
could be completely acceptable to another. I think the panel should
consist of three people ruled by majority. Doing it that way would
help make people feel like they're being treated fairly instead of
wondering why some comments are removed and not others.

Also, as I was submitting my suggestion to Maegan, I started wondering
about a few things. When these matters are discussed at the meeting,
will the person who made the suggestion and the community at large be
made aware of the discussion and the outcome? Will the community
have an opportunity to express opinions about the suggestions, or are
these closed door meetings? Will majority rule when making
decisions? How much information about the meetings will actually be
given to the community?

I realize this is a new endeavor and that the KT is still sorting
things out. I just thought I'd mention some things they might want to
consider.

It was getting a little crowded down there, so I thought I'd continue
the discussion up here.

As I was reading all the comments here and in the original post, I had
an idea that might have better succeeded in putting out the welcome
mat. It comes from something someone else jokingly said (Donno, I
think), but I think it might be exactly what is needed.

Maybe there should be a blog called The Family Room where everyone
could express their ideas and feelings without fear of having them
deleted. That way everything would be out in the open, no one would
feel slighted, and there would be a lesser feeling of animosity. I
know that sounds a lot like the Suggestion Box, but since PFB decided
that something besides the Suggestion Box was needed to improve the
site, I think The Family Room would be a good alternative. I think
it would help bring the community together by making everyone feel
equal, and also show a willingness and desire on the part of PFB for
everyone to be heard firsthand without having to go through a process
that could take months.

I really haven't had a chance to think this through, and I'm sure
reasons will be brought to my attention why this idea won't work, but
I just thought I'd put it out there for now.

I finally got a chance to read all the responses to the Kitchen Table
post, and I think I understand why this approach may not be the best
way to bring the PFB community together.

Thinking back, the original moderation program was a disaster and as
Deb mentioned, resulted in one member permanently leaving the site.
And other projects involving PFB members were also not widely
accepted. There was controversy over ShopperCast and Mommage, as
well. I've come to the conclusion that anything that involves
selecting certain PFB members ends up leaving other members with hurt
feelings. I realize that adults should be able to deal with this kind
of thing, but as is always said on PFB, you can't fault someone for
their feelings.

Maybe anyone who is asked or volunteers to work behind the scenes on
PFB should be anonymous. That way all members are on equal ground
without anyone having to feel slighted. This is just my observation,
and I'm sure some of you will disagree with me, but after thinking
about it, things never seem to work out when a public announcement is
made naming a certain member or members.

Just when I thought the life of Michael Jackson couldn't be sadder, I
turned on the television to see a never before seen video of his hair
on fire in the Pepsi commercial. I remember when it happened and
seeing pictures of him being put in an ambulance, but I never realized
the extent of his injuries.

I watched with horror and shock as the flames rose from his head while
he spun around in what must have been unimaginable fear. When the
fire was put out, he was left with a burned bald spot on the top of
his head but still managed to wave to his fans.

This was undoubtedly the defining moment in Michael Jackson's life. A
life of pain, pain killers, disfigurement, surgeries, recoveries, more
pain killers, Vitiligo, Lupus, and more pain killers. And all that on
top of being self conscious about his looks in the first place thanks
to a father with the sensitivity of a rock.

I am now convinced of several things. Despite fame, fortune and
unbelievable talent, Michael Jackson was a tormented and lonely man
who suffered more than his share of pain, ridicule and humiliation. I
believe he was a kind and gentle human being who truly cared about
others and would never hurt anyone. I do not believe he was a child
molester and do believe he was innocent of all the charges against
him. I think his addiction to prescription drugs began with the Pepsi
commercial, and that being rich and famous enabled him to obtain the
drugs he needed.

All one has to do is see how he raised his three children to know what
kind of person he was. Now that the children are becoming more
public, I have heard nothing but praise about their upbringing.
Seeing and hearing about the children has restored my faith.
Everything I've heard about Michael Jackson in the last few weeks has
pushed me off the fence I've been on all these years and onto
Michael's side.

Why do we always learn more about a person in death than we do in
life?

The only hope now is that Michael Jackson's life and death will change
the way prescription drugs are dispensed to celebrities and anyone
else with the means to buy a doctor. Unnecessary deaths of people
like Michael Jackson, Anna Nicole Smith, Heath Ledger and others must
be a thing of the past. Not one more child should be left without a
mother or father, nor should another mother or father be left without
a child.

If your pet needs to fly, and you want the skies to be friendly, have
no fear, Pet Airways is here!

Pet Airways is a pet only airline offering first class travel in the
temperature controlled main cabin, not in cargo. Your pet will be
safe and comfortable, be monitored by a trained pet attendant and will
never be left unattended.

And get this... all protocols and pet handling procedures are
conducted under the guidance of famed Lassie veterinarian, Dr. Jeff
Werber!

Wondering what it costs? Fares are as low as $149!.. a small price for
peace of mind.

Is this the new trend in pet travel? Is it something you would
consider doing? Will it catch on?

http://petairways.com/

I've been having a discussion with Ben in the Honda letter
(http://tinyurl.com/muot5g) about the responsibility of parents in
the upbringing of their children. I disagree with his attitude that
someone needs to be blamed when a child's behavior is not acceptable,
but let me start by saying I do agree that parents have a
responsibility to do their best. Unfortunately, I do see many parents
who depend too heavily on outside sources to teach their kids things
that should begin at home.

Most parents start out thinking their child will be the most
well-behaved, intelligent kid on the block, at family gatherings and
in the classroom. And most parents try very hard to make sure that
their child lives up to those expectations. But sometimes no matter
what parents do, how hard they try or how much help they seek, some
children will never be what society views as an acceptable child. But
that does not, I repeat DOES NOT mean that the parents are
irresponsible.

Before I became a parent, I was judgmental of other parents who I
believed were not raising their children the way I would raise mine.
And even after I had my first child, I still judged parents who
couldn't seem to get their kids to behave. My child was perfect after
all, so how hard could it be? I thought parents who couldn't control
their kids were irresponsible and self-centered.

And then I had another child and everything changed. And I mean
everything. I suddenly found myself with an infant that I was
convinced came from another planet. If I wasn't in the delivery room
at the time of birth, I would have denied ownership. I had been
around a lot of kids in my life, but this little creature I brought
home from the hospital defied everything I knew or thought I knew
about children. I was at a complete loss and began to seek help
because it was obvious that traditional and conventional parenting
skills and methods were not going to work.

The bottom line is that sometimes a child's behavior is simply out of
the parents' control. Sometimes there is absolutely nothing a parent
can do, even with the help and support of every possible professional,
including pediatricians, teachers, social workers, psychiatrists,
neurologists and child development experts, just to mention a few.

I have had the opportunity and pleasure to know many parents and
children over the eighteen years since my son was born, and it's been
my experience that most parents do not hope for or enjoy a child that
misbehaves. When most people decide to have children, they start out
with the best of intentions. Do you think they wish for a child who
will never listen, not follow rules and throw tantrums in public? Of
course not. Every parent wants that perfect child, and most parents
are ready, willing and able to be responsible. But sometimes all the
good intentions, knowledge, skills and experience mean nothing, and
not only are parents left helpless, but they also have to be subjected
to onlookers pointing fingers and making accusations with no knowledge
or understanding of the situation.

Now when I see a parent struggling with a misbehaving child, I don't
immediately blame or condemn that parent. I ask myself what life must
be like raising children who defy conventional parenting. And I don't
have to look far for the answer. Drawing on my own experience, I see
the situation in a completely different light and am not so quick to
blame the parent. So the next time YOU see a parent struggling with a
spirited child, don't be so judgmental. You have no idea what is
going on in their lives or how much the parents are doing or how hard
they are trying. And remember too that children do not enjoy being
out of control or making spectacles of themselves. If given a choice,
kids just want to be like everyone else. It's just as difficult for
the kids as it is for the parents. And the last thing families need
is to be judged by people who have no idea what's going on.

And it doesn't necessarily end with childhood. This can follow a
person into adulthood, as well. Ben seems to think that everyone
behind the wheel knows the difference between right and wrong. It has
been my experience that too many drivers actually do not know the
difference. Should we blame the parents? I also asked Ben how he
would handle a child who was incapable of knowing the difference
between right and wrong, but he neglected to answer. I wonder what
Ben or anyone else would do if despite doing everything by the book,
their child was not able to be molded into what society views as
acceptable.

When I heard about the death of Ed McMahon, I had a feeling the bad
news about Farrah Fawcett wouldn't be far behind. Then I started
wondering who would complete the trio of deaths. But not even in my
wildest dreams did I think it would be Michael Jackson.

Ed McMahon was simply an institution. Farrah Fawcett's true talent
surfaced in movies like "The Burning Bed", "Small Sacrifices" and
"Extremities". And there really aren't enough words to describe
Michael Jackson.

I hope there's a break in time before the cycle of three deaths
begins again. This is a lot to absorb in one week.

http://tinyurl.com/l7xfsj

No, not the movie... my son! Well, hopefully not the movie. But this
is high school not college!

Yes, today's the day, and it comes with a multitude of mixed feelings.
There are so many things I'm going to miss, but I'm also breathing a
sigh of relief. His school years have been quite an adventure, and I
think I'm finally ready to turn it into a memory. He's taking
college courses over the summer, so things may not be all that
different. We'll see.

His goal is still to be a math teacher, and although he was
disappointed about not being accepted into his college of choice
(mostly because he applied too late), I think it worked out for the
best because it was going to be too much of a transition. So he'll
be going to community college for at least a year (possibly two),
which will be an easier adjustment. I'm a little skeptical that he's
going to be able to buckle down and do the work, but at least he's
willing to try. If this doesn't work out, he'll have to start
thinking about other alternatives.

So, Congratulations to all the Graduates of 2009! May all your dreams
come true.