PFB commenters are SCARY

Shahidah, I've been really impressed with your replies to our replies.
I do hope you decide to stick around. You are right that there has
been a problem with some shall we say unfriendliness around here, but
those of us who care about the site are trying to change the tone
around here. Nice, thoughtful people who question respectfully and
with insight are exactly what we need around here. So I hope you
stay. :)

That doesn't mean that letters written poorly, in extreme anger, or by
people with obvious entitlement issues will be accepted by the
community. Letters like that do as much to bring down the tone of the
site as scary replies do. If we think a letter is wrong or offensive,
we will say so. I just hope we can try and do it as respectfully as
possible. Perhaps with your example that will become easier. Again,
I hope you stick around!

Well I guess this means that you are scary too since yuo are a a PFB
commenter.

You're not writing for the people on here. Most consumer blog sites
are infested with people who believe the "customer is always wrong."
My friend used PFB to complain once about her bank closing for acct
with out cause and accusing her of defrauding them.

Most of the replies on PFB to her letter supported the bank and
accused her of being stupid and lying. A week after her PFB letter,
the bank replied that it has misentered her social security numnber,
and confused her with someone else.

Any time anyone brings up "plus sizes" its gonna bring out the fat
trolls.

As for why is it neccessary... Because people enjoy doing it. The
bigger a site is, the less useful info it will contain.

Your grammar usage suggests it isn't, and if so that might be part of
the problem. A lot of things that are intended as humor or irony
don't translate well. Some responses are deliberately rude, because
the original poster has written an idiotic letter.

One thing you are probably seeing as rude is posters blasting away at
poor grammar. Some letters that are posted for public commentary are
so badly written they are completely incomprehensible. Some are one
giant run-on sentance, with no punctuation. Some are composed of
sentence fragments. Others are full of misspelled or misused words. A
few writers may have dyslexia or other disability, but most of these
disasters are from native English speakers who have no excuse for
their poor command of their own language.

If the people who write these letters expect a response from a
company, they will most likely be disappointed. The most likely
corporate response to horrific grammar is the Delete key. If it looks
like gibberish, it will be treated as such. It may be rude to say so,
but it's the truth.

There is a way to get your point across without being so very rude
like you were in your second post on that letter. And the reason no
one disputed it is because no one cares. Its obvious that you either
have no clue what its like to have a curve ball thrown at you or you
just assume that because life has been so easy for you that it is for
everyone else. Everyone knows there is no point arguing with you
because you think you know everything already.

As everyone as pointed out, my comments were not rude you just want
them to be. Try as you might, you cant make them rude.

You, however, are being exactly like that. You call someone rude and
then turn around and insult them. Which is why I love PFB. Quality
comedy, all the time.

I just read the thread attached to your original letter. Were there
some comments removed? Because I read nothing that could be construed
as mean or scary. All I saw was a bunch of people saying that debt
forgiveness would be nice, but not to hold your breath. I can't say I
disagree with that assessment. Of course, if there were some comments
removed, that changes things. Of course, if the comments were
removed, then I suppose the problem is solved.

As far as other letters, it is true that there has been an outbreak of
nastiness on the site, but it is something we are all trying to fix.
I hope that we can all continue to give constructive criticism and
respectful disagreement to letters, which to be honest is all I read
in the replies to your letter.

i think you are confusing mean and scary with tongue in cheek humor to
try to get you to think about what you are asking. I replied that it
was like Bono wants for Africa-debt forgiveness. Now, if you knew me,
you would know that to me, Bono sits on the right hand side of God as
far as i am concerned. However, he and i disagree on this issue. The
idea of a credit card company saying, "oh, just forget about that
money you owe us" is insanity. What if everyone wanted that favor?
Why do you believe they should make an exception for you? You are not
special and many, many people have had worse financial setbacks than
you and i am thinking specifically of myself here, and never once did
it occur to me to ask anyone to simply "forgive my debt", which is
what you are asking. Think about what you are really asking.
Secondly, there are harsh answers on this site, but i think that if
you really read the letters and then the seemingly harsh answers
you'll see why. Many letters simply want freebies for nothing or to
be made an exception of when they aren't entitled. You fall into the
second category. That's not mean, it's cold, hard truth.

Hi Shahidah,
I hope you don't include my response in painting the advise and
comments on this site with too broad a brush. There is some very
helpful advice and tips and something to be learned in every post
here. Did you not read anything on the site before choosing to share
your letter? Stay and don't share your letters for awhile, get to know
people and network. But don't just accuse everyone because you
percieve any responses as "shooting from the hip" or "cruel"

I'm very saddened to see you feel this way because you'll miss a lot
of excellent and useful advice and some very kind and good hearted
people who mean well.
It's just like "real life" as you say in this letter. Yes, if you get
to know people's character, you may find support and help. Yes people
will disagree and Yes it hurts. It hurts very bad. But the truth from
any of us or from "professionals" in real life is the same truth. And
the truth sometimes hurts.

Please don't take it personally. Give it time,patience, and a
different approach.

:0)

for once its not me! lol

Think of PFB as a learning experience or trial by fire. People here
tend to say exactly what they are thinking, giving honest opinions and
explanations that - in general - are meant to help and educate.

If you or someone else posts a letter or comment that draws
disagreement from the majority, maybe it's time to step back and
rethink a position or idea. It doesn't mean that you (general you, not
specific you) are wrong, just that there are other points of view that
are just as viable.

Also, if most of the comments are along the lines of 'I don't think
that's a good idea, here's why' it's a fair chance the company you are
writing will have a similar respsonse and reasoning. In the case of
the OP's initial letter, I think Mr. Helpful's comments at the
beginning of this threads sums it up the best.

When a letter is posted as 'shared' it means the OP is opening it up
to comments and opinions from the PFB community. Having an outsiders
opinion of events, unclouded by the trauma, angst and disappointment
that so often goes along with these letters, helps put things in
perspective.

It seems like whenever someone disagrees with someone else, they are
immediately labelled as 'rude' and 'unhelpful'. Sometimes the best way
to be 'helpful' is to tell the 'truth' as you see it.

I agree with what Mr Helpfull, Venice and everyone else said, and I
read your previous letter. I didn't see anything that was rude or
shooting from the hip or any other place.

Yes, there are some posters on this site that are mean and don't
really read the letter or try to understand it. But if you hang out,
you will learn who they are and to ignore them. Everyone here is
entitled to there own opionion. You do have the choice to share your
letter or keep it private.

If you stick around you may find this place a little comical. And if
you don't agree with something you can voice your opinion or send Greg
an email and have the problem taken care of. You have to take what
some people say with a grain of salt and remember that you will
probably never see this person, so just let the comment roll of your
back, like water off of a duck.

But remember, just because someone doens't agree with you, doens't
mean that they are being mean or rude, they are a human being with an
opinion.

Ok. I had read the letter yesterday but didnt respond because,
frankly, it didnt interest me. LOL!

But since you felt that you were treated in a mean way I had to go
back and see what was going on. I have to say that there was really
only one or two comments that came off as sort of rude. The rest were
just being honest and trying to help you. You know..being a realist.

I had some major credit problems in the past (which I posted about on
your original letter) so I can sort of understand where you are coming
from. But I never asked anyone to fix anything on my credit report or
anything. I didnt know then that you could even try to do something
like that! LOL!

However, just because someone doesnt agree with you doesnt mean they
are being mean, hateful, shooting from the hip or anything else. It
simply means they dont agree with you and they just might have some
insight that you hadnt thought about that might help you. There isnt
anything that anyone can post to you or about you on this site that
has any power over unless you give it that power. So someone doesnt
agree..big deal! So someone said something rude..so what?! Dont take
it personally.

Honestly, a lot of us have been around here for a long time and I have
noticed that sometimes people see the topic of a letter and then
assume its similar to a lot of other letters they have read and them
comment without really reading or understanding that particular
letter. Doesnt make what it right but it is understandable that they
might jump to conclusions.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion whether you agree with it or
not. Personally, I dont believe Sears should change anything on your
credit report. I dont think you deserve it unless you have some
information you didnt provide in your letter. But heck, you have every
right to ASK them to do it. And THATS what makes this site important.
You have the option to exercise your right to ask something of a
company and everyone else has the right to comment on whether they
agree with you or not. Its a beautiful thing really. LOL! But its not
a big deal if no one agrees with you. Dont let that stop you from
using the website. If you arent comfortable with the comments then
dont click the box to share your letter with everyone else. Become a
commentator and then YOU can comment on the letters. Maybe you can
bring some insight to them that no one else around here can.

Hi shahidah,

Because you are new to the site I wouldn't expect you to know that the
responses you got to your Sears letter were no where near mean in PFB
standards. Perhaps there were some people who didn't quite agree with
asking a company to lie about your credit history. The fact of the
matter is that when you apply for credit you are asking a company to
give you money. It is only fair that the company you are requesting
money from know the true nature of your past abilities to repay a
loan.

The fact of the matter is that not everyone in the world is going to
see things the same way you do. People weren't mean, they simply
disagreed with you.

This is the internet and your chances of running across people who
disagree with you are higher than they are if you were voicing your
complaint/request to your personal circle of friends. One thing you
have to remember when dealing with internet interaction is that you
can't let it get you down. You can't take users comments so
seriously. Ultimately, the only thing that matters is the reply from
the company, not the responses you received here at PFB.

I have to disagree with Venice and Brenda on one thing. One comment
went on about how it was their own fault that they had a financial
difficutly and in my opinon was rather rude. Actually it was really
rude and condescending. People can fall on hard times no matter how
careful they are.

Other than that... I don't really have an opinion on the whole credit
card issue and I don't feel as if anyone else made any out of line
comments.

The reason we allow comments is to give other folks a chance to add to
the discussion. They can offer support however if they don't, that's
not a problem. In fact, disagreement can and does bring additional
information to the forefront that might not be in the original
letter.

For instance, I dont believe Sears should "re-age" your account. Your
credit history is a rolling record of how you've handled credit
obligations in the past. Any business considering your future
creditworthiness has a right to know what your true credit history is.
If Sears "re-ages" your account then what other businesses see will
not be truthful. I believe that is unfair.

My opinion on this subject has nothing to do with whether Sears will
grant your request or not. It could, however, help another reader
understand why Sears might not help you out in this case. It may even
cause someone to think twice about their obligations and how best to
handle them.

THAT is the power of the comment feature on PlanetFeedback.

Shahidah, I just read your original letter and all of the replies, and
absolutely nothing said was mean, scary or shooting from the hip. I
thought the comments were helpful and informative.

I must say that if you honestly feel the replies to your letter are
inappropriate, then maybe this site is not for you. On the other
hand, in the future, if you want to optimize your chances of getting a
positive result from a letter, you might want to consider sending it
via Planetfeedback privately, and not shared, so no one else will see
it or have the ability to respond. It's up to you.

I just re-read the comments to your original letter and no one was
mean to you.

Just because somebody has an opinion that you don't agree with doesn't
make it mean.