Betty

They have crusty, pole-filled crotches with spiders living in them.
Seems a douche may actually be in order.

You're funny.

But not ha ha funny.

Is it battery operated? Who put the poles in their crotches in the
first place? Why? Did the pole somehow attract the spiders, or were
the spiders there already? Would someone with spiders and poles in
their crotch really sit down at a computer for any length of time? I
would think the presence of spiders would incite me to move pretty
quickly.

These are the things I ponder when I'm supposed to be reading The
Iliad for World Lit.