Stalked and Harassed at TGIF

You should know to have your license on you at all times. Sounds like
you caused alot of trouble for everyone.

The best course of action for them to have taken would have been to
inform you of the situation. i.e. no card no alcohol, no sharing
drinks. They did their job but not in a way that made you happy.
Hopefully you are now aware of the repercussions of being served
alcohol without ID. And, an officer in the restaurant if he had
noticed that you weren't carded and were served alcohol could have
jumped on them too. And shame on the other restaurant!!! BAD
restaurant!! BAD!!! :)

For the sake of the cop that may stop you, or in case you write a
freakin check, TAKE YOUR LICENSE EVERYWHERE. Come on, your in your
30s, you know you need your license sometimes on a daily basis.

I agree that the establishment harassed you rudely. I personally
would have told them to "F off", and left with tipping.

At my job I have to ask for 2 forms of ID for certain things so we
have records. (government requirement) People really go around town
without a drivers license and car registration (freaking amazing).
Keep your license in your wallet. Theres no need to take it out at
home and dance around with it, have it at all times.

I know alot of you commented on the age to which you get carded. But
it's a LAW thats sweeping the nation. In georgia if you don't get
carded (no matter your age) the server can get fined, and fired and
the establishment as well. Here you have to ID everyone, no matter
what they look like.

I had a server not card an undercover cop that was 27. She was fined
and arrested. For breaking the local laws. A great many of adults
have no idea the laws that are impossed in thier area.

Did you know that if a server gets busted serving alcohol to someone
underage, they will be fired, will get a large fine they will be
PERSONALLT responsible for paying, (THEM, not the company) the
restaurant will lose its liquor license (taking a large chunk out of
their sales) and on top of that, a manager or two will probably be
fired as well for not making sure the servers were doing their job.
You know how they take precautions against that happening? They card
EVERYONE. I worked in a liquor store with the same policy. It didn't
matter how old you looked. No ID=no booze.

What in God's name makes you think that a whiny, self-centered, overly
entitled whiner like you is worth that much trouble? The restaurant
folks probably think the same way I do....you are not worth them
getting fined and losing their jobs. Next time, get yourself
organised and make sure you have your ID, and quit trying to blame the
restaurant for your own mistake and lack of foresight.

Are you serious?

People can lose their jobs because you feel entitled to not have rules
apply to you. So, if you were at the airport and forgot your ID, they
should let you get on the plane? Oh, that's right, it would probably
be important for you, so you would bring your ID with you.....

I am just curious as to why you think you are so special that the laws
shouldn't apply to you? I also wonder how you can be so cold-hearted
as to put the wait staff in a situation where they could be fired,
fined and otherwise punished.

I just wonder who you are and who you think you are? I have never
read such a blatantly self-indulgent complaint. The bottom line is you
knew you and your friends were going to have alcoholic beverages, you
forgot your ID card, and you were perfectly willing to cause a great
deal of suffering to the employees of the restaurant for your
mistake.

What on earth is wrong with you anyway?

Wow, you should be glad you were carded - you look younger than 32! I
would take that as a compliment. 32 is not old by any means, however
sometimes it feels nice when people think I am younger.

I'm 28 now and rarely drink, but when I do, I get carded. I'm told I
look a lot closer to 20, which I appreciate. One time when I was about
26, my mother and I went out to dinner at Chili's and I wanted a
margarita. Upon ordering said margarita and being asked to produce ID,
I realized I had left my ID at home. I told the server, immediately
changed my drink to a soda and did not give them any problem, even
when the waitress gave us a long winded speech about why they have to
be careful and then the manager did the same. I think they were
worried I was going to be mad about it. Granted, it was a
disappointment not to get what I wanted, but it was my fault. I don't
make a habit of leaving my ID at home, but now I check before I order
a drink. It was a bit embarrassing because they very possibly thought
I was some kid trying to get away with drinking underage. I imagine
you were embarrassed too. The difference is, I didn't blame Chili's.
Not only am I adult enough to drink, but I take responsibility for
myself as well.

They were only doing their jobs. As others have noted, individuals
and establishments can get into big trouble for selling to minors.
The only way to prevent such sales is to card everybody. If you
didn't have your ID, it's your fault not theirs.

Cut these folks some slack and carry your ID next time!

Here's what I learned when I bartended at a restaurant;

Don't serve underage people. If you do, you can lose your job, go to
jail and the restaurant can lose its lisence.

If the person does not have an I.D., it doesn't matter if they look 5
or 35. You don't serve them.

If you suspect they are drinking an alcoholic beverage that someone
else served them, you must make sure they are asked to stop.
Otherwise, you can lose your job, go to jail and the restaurant can
lose its lisence.

Oh and yes, you can get sued. Fun!

Yes, you can be sued, the restaurant can be sued, thereby risking
everyone's livelihood.

So get it straight. Restaurants have a difficult job to do. Stop
acting like a big baby and bring your ID next time.

In my state, where I work as a bartender, the law states that you must
ID anyone who looks under the age of 35. I also work at a TGI Fridays
that takes this very seriously. Corporate also sends "spys" in to
make sure employees are carding and the staff are doing their jobs. I
just can't believe that you are complaining about the server who is
doing her job. Its called responsible alcohol service, I'm just sorry
you were ill-prepaired and paranoid.

I'm 28, and if I know I'm going to be drinking I make sure I have my
ID when I go out. I'm one of those creepily young-looking people,
though, so I almost always get carded. My husband, who is 27, has
facial hair, which seems to be the "get out of showing ID card." It's
always a surprise when he does get carded - but he always has his ID
so it's no big deal. I guess what I'm saying is if you'd brought
along some ID this would have been a non-issue.

If restaurants decided who was underage and who wasn't based solely on
looks, they'd end up serving a lot of minors. As other posters have
pointed out, that can have serious consequences. The law says they
have to have proof, they asked for proof. The fact that you couldn't
provide that proof really isn't their fault.

I'm not yet thirty, married to man who is just 30, married and
pregnant, and I still got carded before I was pregnant and will
probably continue to get carded after I have the baby.

I would rather they card me if they are unsure then have the server
possibly lose their job for not carding.

was your over the top reaction to this.

Bottom line, the rule is, if you aren't sporting grey hair and a
walker, they're gonna card you. Forgot your license? Forget about
that beer!

You weren't stalked and harassed, they were making sure that you
weren't breaking the rules. They have to be that diligent because if
a secret shopper is in there and they arent monitoring this, someone
will get fired on the spot.

No offense, but your not getting a beer is not worth one of their
employees losing their livlihood over - sorry.

Stalking and Harassing is out of line anywhere. But, is it that you
were just upset about them not letting you drink on your word that you
were overage?
Honestly, you must have really needed that drink not to take it as a
compliment.
And, who goes anywhere without an id. Didn't your mom teach
you---it's the same as wearing clean underwear in case you are in an
accident.LOL And, if you're going to drink that is even more likely.
I guess you must have been the designated driver for the evening then,
huh??

I have to echo the majority - TGIF was not being insensitive, nor were
they providing poor service. They were abiding by their own policies
as well as state laws. Besides, I'm sure going one evening out without
booze won't kill you.

And heck, if I was 32 and someone thought I looked underage, I'd be
bloody flattered.

sorry, but if you had been under age and they had gotten caught
serving you, it'd cost them their liquor liscense, not to mention a
hefty fine. here's my opinion: if you had any of that common sense
you were talking about and you knew you were going to be ordering a
drink, you would have taken your id. that makes it all your fault.
incidentally, not carrying id no matter where you go these days is
just, well, not using common sense. next time, use yours.

I am a bartender, and we just ask once. If you can't provide an id, we
just don't serve you. Anyone can come back with an id and purchase a
drink. That was out of line. All companies have there own policies,
but that's so emmbarressing. I would post something in the
paper....try emmbarressing them.

"I have not been carded in at least 5-7 years at this type of
establishment."

That has nothing to do with it. This didn't happen in those other
establishments.

How old do you look? It could be that the person who asked for your ID
thoought you looked younger than you are.

I sure wish I did!

I am 30 and still get carded for cigarttes. Where I live liquor
establishments can loose their license for serving an underage person
3 times during the year. My husband works at a bar and they card
everybody, even if they are an 80 year old man. There is too much for
these businesses to loose and alot more for their employees to loose.
It is a felony to serve to an underage person. I am sure they did not
want to take the chance of going to jail, because you could not prove
your age.

Unfortunately, with all the entitlement-whores in the world who don't
give a rip about the business who is obligated to follow the law and
would receive the fine and black mark against them, the businesses
have to be dilligent when faced with people who don't think they have
to follow the laws like everyone else.

Next time realize you are no better than anyone else and either have
your ID on you or act like an adult and be responsible and not whine
about it. I've no doubt you gave the waitress reason to suspect you.

Im 30 and I get carded all the time, I guess I should consider it a
compliment. Its annoying, but u have to look at it from their point of
view, how many KIDS do u see that are 17 or 18 sometimes even 15 or 16
especially girls who LOOK of age. My friend waitresses at a chilis and
THEY WILL GET FIRED if they serve someone without an ID. Just take it
as a compliment and move on.

I know it seems like everyone has just lost all common sense. VERY
few people look underage at age 32. Clearly you weren't underage.

Unfortunately, the system is much stronger. Establishments HAVE TO
cover their own asses now and check IDs. If it were reported that
they served you a drink with no ID, they could be in some serious
trouble from fines to loss of liquor license. It's not their fault.

Carry your ID at all times...problem solved!

It's not the restaurant's fault that they have to check ID to serve
you alchohol. Here in Michigan, we have the "vertical ID" program, and
until you are 21, your drivers license or ID card is vertical, and
when you turn 21, it is the normal way, and all restaurants check to
see if you have the "proper" form of ID.

What they were doing was their job. As many people here have
mentioned, jobs could have been lost, restaurant fined, loss of liquor
license, ect. Why would they risk all of that simply for your drink?
I'm sorry, but this is just a very unreasonable complaint. They would
have been perfectly within their rights to ask you and your party to
leave had they seen you consume even a sip of someone else's beverage.
That is why they were wathching you, nothing more.

cookgirl

Give me a break...a few years ago I went to a Bob Dylan concert that
was held at a minor league baseball field that was located on a
University campus. Now, you can imagine the average age of the
attendees. While we were waiting in line, we were told that if we
were going to buy beer once inside, we all needed to show ID and they
would give us a tag. We all laughed and said "in this crowd". And
yes, they made everyone show ID...I told them they made my day!

Ok let me get this straight. Pretty much the reason why your angry is
because you got carded while ordering a drink? Gosh, I would think
this would be a COMPLIMENT. How do you NOT carry an ID?

My nephew, who is 20, has never been carded. He looks mature for his
age, as do his friends. Unfortunalty this past weekend the same place
that has been serving them for the past 4 years served his friend one
last time, one too many. He was only 20. I think this is an excelent
law.
So, Taryn, cry about not being served and say they stalked and
harrassed you if you want. As you can see most are not agreeing with
you and apparently you either don't know the law or can't read signs
posted in restuarants very well. They are not the wrongs one in this
matter you are.

They were harassing you because the laws are SO strict if they are
caught serving you. The government is no joke when it comes to
enforcing laws pertaining to serving to minors. Even though you state
that you clearly are not a minor, they carded you and they have to
stand behind what they've said, since they decided to card you. Also,
as a previous poster said below, TGIF sends shoppers, and are fired on
the spot for not adhering to the carding rules!

Something else I don't understand...

Who are these people going out without ID. While we don't live in
Cold War East Germany ("vher are your papuhz?"), I can't imagine
leaving the house without my driver's license.

Maybe that's because I drive and it's the law. But even when someone
else is driving, I can't fathom not having my license with me.

Sure, we all forget things every one in a while. But a driver's
license seems, well, one of those things that you make a point of
trying to remember when you go out.

Especially when you're going out drinking. Unless I'm positive
someone else is the designated driver, I make sure that I'm able to
drive everyone else, need be. That means having a driver's license.
Unlike TGIF, the police will not accept "I forgot my ID" as a valid
reason for you being without a license.

I guess on a maturity level you're not any where near 32.

At the bar that I work at, if anyone underage is sold alcohol, not
only does the bartender get a fairly steep fine (between 1500-3000),
but the restaurant/bar receives a fine and is put in danger of losing
their liquor license. This isn't a case of them harrassing you, it's
a case of them covering themselves. Just take your ID with you (you
should have it at all times anyhow) and this will not be an issue in
the future. Personally, I'm turning thirty in two months, and I'm
always flattered when I do get carded.

Since I work for TGIF, let me give you a little insight:

TGIF has a policy that we card anyone that looks under 40. In fact,
there are signs that read "We card EVERYONE who looks under 40." and
"No one will be served without proper ID".
Corporate sends in secret shoppers, who are over 21 (only the police
can send a minor in for a sting), but look under 40. I'll tell you
though, some look darn close to 40. If you serve them without an ID,
you are fired on the spot. We lost a great server because she didn't
card a 28 year old shopper, thought better of it, asked for his ID
before she brought the drink. But she rang the drink in with no ID,
and she still got fired.
Also, we are required to remove all drinks from the table if someone
who does not an ID drinks from another guest's drink. That's where you
come in. If someone passed you their drink, she'd have to take it from
the table or she could lose her job.

So, you may think you are letting TGIF onto something they don't know,
but in reality, you are letting them know that you found an employee
following company policy. With the fines and punishments that come
with serving those without proper ID (not just those under 21), your
$4 beer is not worth that sever's job or the fines and liquor license
suspension for the establishment.

When I was 18, my boyfriend at the time was 19 and suffered from
premature balding, so he looked closer to 40. We frequently went out
and were never questioned or carded when ordering drinks - him because
he looked so much over 21, and I guess they served me by default since
they figured I *had* to be over 21 to be out with him.

Can you imagine the trouble we could have gotten some of these
places?

Many places now have signs that say "We ID EVERYONE". You had no ID -
you got no drink.

I would have taken that as a compliment. In my state (OHIO) if you
look under the age of 35 they have to ask for ID or they can lose
their job. The server was only protecting their job and the same as
the management. Don't take offense, if you were in their shoes who
knows you might have done the same thing.

Stalking and Harrassment are in the eye of the beholder.

You have to be 21 and over to drink. In order to prove you are 21 and
over, you have to show ID. It does not matter if you among company who
are 21 and over as there are many underage people who can pass for 21
and over. An establishment can lose their liquor license and be shut
down if they are caught serving alcohol to minors. Yes, you are not a
minor but since you have no ID on you they have no idea if you are 21
and over. Why should an establishment risk losing their liquor license
and a hefty fine because you didn't have ID on you? Besides the fact
that you should always carry ID on you in the event of an emergency,
if you know you plan on getting your drink on, you should have it on
you anyways.

It is the establishment's job to check your id. If you did not have
it, they can't serve you alcohol or in some places seat you in the bar
or lounge area but in the dining area only. As long as you were not
drinking off someone else's beer then they should have left you alone.
If they did see you drinking off someone's drink then they have to
come over and say something or ask you to leave, if you are caught
drinking in their establishment without id they could get cited.
If this was not the case then I completely agree with you about the
ridiculous part. They did not need to bother your table and they
certainly didn't need to send somebody over to question you. I would
have left as well.

You didnt have your ID

No ID no drinky for you.

If I get asked for ID I am happy as a clam.

that they carded you, and that is the reason for your complaint. The
rest of this is just overreaction.

When I was 32, I was still being carded. I look young for my age, and
I think I was carded up to around 35. Big deal. There is a reason
for carding people, and you know it. I see you pointed out you were
able to get drinks down the road. I assume that was without your id
as well. Good for you. Just don't plan on every establishment giving
you the benefit of the doubt, because the law says they don't have to
(and shouldn't).

What is ridiculous is that you wrote this letter. "Darn you Friday's,
you abided by the law and so I'm never coming back!"

I am visiting Memphis TN and just got back from dinner where I was the
youngest, at 47, of a party of 4. We were all asked for ID when we
ordered drinks.

Didn't bother me a bit.

Heres an idea. Next time, ACT YOUR AGE, and take your ID with you.
If you don't want people treating you like you are 18 years old, THEN
STOP ACTING LIKE IT!!! In most states, it is a LAW to check ID's for
any that "appears under the age of 40" Get over yourself. I'm glad I
won't have to see you at TGIF's when I go, (with my ID)

Next time, bring your ID with you when you leave the house!

What would happen if you were in a car accident, and no one knew who
you were?

It is just the law in some places that restaurants and bars must card
everybody. That is just how it is. Some places may be more lax,
while others are more paranoid about not letting anyone by, not
wanting to risk their liquor license.

And in a lot of instances where one person in the party doesn't have
an ID but everyone else does, the person without ID is often snuck a
drink, so they watch closely. Now you know to carry your ID with you
everywhere you go - lesson learned.

Everyone else has done a pretty good job at addressing a variety of
things.

What I'm wondering is: why?

There's got to be a reason why the waitress and the manager "stalked
and harassed" you. It just doesn't make sense that they'd waste their
time bugging you. Does it?

One could guess at the reasons. Maybe they got busted the night
before for serving alcohol to a minor. Maybe they heard that the
liquor control board (not sure what they call it in NY) was out
conducting inspections. Maybe corporate sent out a reminder letter
about responsible drinking.

No ID, no alcohol is a sensible policy. Even if you look 32.

What you describe doesn't rise to the level of stalking and
harassment. It's basically what they're required to do when there's a
party that includes people who can prove they're allowed to drink who
are drinking and that includes people who can't prove they're allowed
to drink who might want to drink.

I'm significantly older than you and I get carded by people who know
me and know how old I am, because the government insists that places
that sell alcohol err on the side of carding old people rather than on
the side of serving young people.

If you believed that saying "stalked and harassed" was enough to get a
bunch of people who don't know you to agree that obviously you were
stalked and harassed, you were mistaken. If they really treated you
appallingly in a way you didn't make clear in the first letter, I hope
you'll follow up so that TGIF knows what their staff did that crossed
the line.

But without that, your letter really makes me think how glad I am not
to have a job that involves serving alcohol. There are just so many
ways to inadvertently upset people when you have one of those jobs.

Well, I have NO idea why my comment was deleted, but here goes again:

I imagine that they kept a watch over you because you made a fuss over
not being able to have an alcoholic beverage. If you'd just shrugged
it off and said, "Oh well, my bad for not having my ID on me," there
likely wouldn't have been a problem.

Your hyberbolic use of "stalked and harassed" is immature and
inaccurate. They obviously had reason to believe you wanted a drink
badly enough to sneak something from another adult at the table.

Oh, and common sense dictates that you take your government-issued
photo ID with you when you go out for a night on the town.

Liquor laws in your state are strictly enforced for good reason. To
stop under age drinking and although you're far past the consenting
age, you must still look young and they are doing what they are
legally required to do. It's your fault that you went out without
your ID. Why's that? Who does that? Stop being the victim. They
were doing there job and I commend them for that.

I am almost 41 and consistently get carded at sit down restaurants,
gas sttions, etc. In my state, the law saz if EVERY person in the
party does not have an ID, NO ONE gets served.

You were asked for ID, maybe once or twice. While you were insulted
by it, you were not stalked.

Like Harley said, there may have been a reason for it, might have been
an incident recently.

You were not stalked and harrassed. You did not have ID and they were
well within their rights not to serve you alcohol and to make sure no
one else ordered it foryou. There is no reason to be shocked and
appalled.

More than likely they may have recently been inspected by the SLA and
fined for not checking ID.

Common sense would dictate that you shuld never leave home without
your ID as there are many instances, other than ordering a drink,
where you may be asked to present it.

And I agree with the previous poster - - you should take it as a
compliment that they carded you. Years from now you'll look upon this
incident fondly.

At most places that serve alcohol anymore there is a "no ID, no drink"
policy no matter your age. If you want to have a drink someplace then
you as a responsible adult should have the proper ID on you. The
establishment has every right to watch to make sure that someone that
hasn't been verified is not drinking. They have a lot more than a
customer to lose if someone underage is caught: fines and having the
liquer license revoked to name a few. Next time make sure you are
prepared and don't blame the waiters or other staff for following
policies.

I got carded at Applebees about a year ago. It was all I could do to
keep from jumping out of my seat to hug the waiter ;)

I'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable, but a restaurant serving
alcohol to minors, even inadvertantly, can get into some DEEP trouble.
You may not think you look underage, but perhaps the restaurant staff
did. Or maybe they figured better safe than sorry. Plenty of 20 year
olds look older.

I don't think you're justified in accusing them of "stalking" you.

Taryn R.,

Suffice it to say this TGIF has a policy of carding all patrons. This
approach assures, or sure assure, that everybody gets the same
treatment and nobody gets overlooked.

In your case, as I read it, you did not have your ID as proof that you
were of age without the document to prove it. Not their fault for
adhering to and consistantly administering their policy.

BillR.

I'm 32 and I get carded all the time. Establishments are required to
card anyone that looks under the age of 27 now. Take it as a
compliment and be grateful that they are carding people. Otherwise
who knows how many irresponsible teenagers there would be trying to
score a drink.