Inconsiderate Wait Staff

I know this is a tired, worn out discussion (both in this forum and
more boradly) but I must state some facts.

FACT: Servers in the United States are paid well below the now federal
minimum wage of seven dollars (which, is itself far below anything
resembling a "living wage," but that's another discussion). The rate
is usually between two and three dollars, excluding servers working in
private establishments or events. This "wage" is taxed, which is why a
server's paycheck usually contains no money.

FACT: Because the restaurant lobby is strong, and it would be costly
for restaurants to pay servers a salary or reasonable hourly wage, the
US is one of the remaining Western nations which does not pay it's
servers a salary. Instead, servers rely on a grand unwritten social
contract, which I sincerely hope is taught more vociferously because
it seems there is a grand disparity in how people respect this
contract.

FACT: The social contract states that when people enter a restaurant
with the intention to drink or dine at the hands of a server or
bartender, they are silently committing to pay for a service. Not only
are they paying for the fried calamari or pad thai or Corona or
whatever, they are paying the server for taking their order, keeping
the evening flowing, and being polite and helpful.

FACT: This social contract does not allow patrons to be disrespectful
(though it happens). Additionally (and I'm a server, here, fellow
waitstaff, so put the claws away) it also does not allow a server to
be snotty, dismissive, or unprofessional. It's a quid pro quo
situation. Do well, and you'll be compensated.

With all that said, I know that if I'm having an off night (I'm
forgetting things, I'm being snarky) I don't expect a twenty percent
tip. But if things are getting done, anything less than ten percent
tip is absolutely insulting, not to mention discouraging.

Plainly put, prices are the same for everyone. Rent, tuition,
groceries, gas, and beyond that, the small things which make life
enjoyable like movies, books, or trips don't cost less for me just
because I'm a server. Please remember that as hard as it is for you to
pay bills, it's just as hard for anyone else you meet. Five dollars
doesn't get you very far...how far was it supposed to take her?

To go to such a nice restaurant on valentines day and find out how
cheap your boyfriend was. I feel sorry for you, a man like that
should stick to burger places or biker bars. you know strike that,
bikers are more courtious and tip appropriately. I apologize to the
biker community. your boyfriend would be better off going to
McDonalds. I bet he is glad he does not have to tip there. I imagine
he is so cheap he tries to get you two to eat at places he does not
have to tip. I feel that he is the worst example of a man i have
heard. Until he can learn that tipping is necessary and not an
inconvenience, he does not deserve you.

Shame on you.

Seriously. I cannot imagine you wanting a giftcard for YOUR rude
behavior. I mean seriously. They bust their butt and you feel OK
leaving a measley tip?

Its really no wonder the Manager never sent the card. Who knows what
they'd get stiffed on next.

Again, and I stress, SHAME ON YOU.

The food was terrific, but you left a really crappy cheap $5 tip?????
This letter makes no sense to me really, because you said everything
was great but your tip doesn't express that at all. Also, you didn't
deserve a gift card in the first place. If I was the manager there I
don't think I'd want you back at my restaurant, either.

I think $5 was ok, and she was being rude, I'm sure some customers
don't leave anything. But I've been reading all these complaints and
it comes down to the people they hire.

I know if I had done that my girlfriend would have said you should
leave more, say $8. But the waitress should have kept her mouth shut.
Everyone is having it hard right now and she's lucky to get the $5.

I keep seeing this letter come back from the dead, and I think I
figured out the correct response.

You were (or still are) cheap, and your server was rude.

Bad behavior (on your part) dosen't justify bad behavior (on the
server's part).

cookgirl

I have never worked in food service, but if you have not been living
under a rock you should know that you should tip 15-22%. It is a
total insult to tip what you tipped. Maybe you are new to being
waited on, so I will not wail on you for being ignorant.

yeah you were kind of inconsiderate leaving a 5 dollar tip. If the
food and service was excellent, you should have at least left 16 bucks
for an 80 dollar bill. waitresses work off of their tips, as their
hourly salary is especially low.

Next time, you should leave more than your cheap five dollar tip

Most state sales taxes are around 7 to 10 percent. The easy way to
figure out a decent tip is to look at the tax on your bill and double
it. That should put you at around 15 percent. If the tax is $6.25 a
decent tip would be $12.50.

Ok, first off, the waitress had no business saying anything. Now, for
the second problem. A $5.00 tip for an $80.00 meal is totally
inappropriate. Ten to 15 percent is the normal range for a tip. You
should have talked to the manager before you left the place.

That was pretty cheap.
That being said, I hate the percentage based tipping norm. I can go to
one place and get a burger and fries for $7, and tip $2 for a $9 meal,
but go to another and pay $15 for a burger and tip $3 for a total of
$18 for the same meal and same service.
I never understood why the more you pay for the food the more you have
to tip because many places are overpriced and that just adds to it.
If I get a coke with free refills for $1.50, compared to getting 3
beers for $4.50 each, I have to pony up an additional $2 tip because
of those 3 over priced beers, but the amount of service was the same.

I just wish there was a per person standard based on how long you were
in the place. If I'm in a place for a couple of hours and have a $30
bill, I feel like I owe the wait staff $10 instead of $6 because of
the time I spent, not necessarily the amount I was charged for food.
Just a pet peeve of mine.

$5.00..what a shame. Take your business to McD's next time. Maybe,
they'll let you supersize your meal for the extra $5.00

You left a 4% tip, when it is customary to leave a 15% (at least where
I live, I know some places are 12%) tip. Unless there was a problem
with the service, your boyfriend is inconsiderate.

Alot of people are not aware, but in most restaurants waitstaff have
to, in a way, pay for you to sit in their section. That is partly why
it is cutomary for tip out 15% in most places. The waitstaff have to
tip out the bartender, the busboys/barbacks, kitchen staff,
dishwasher.. they don't tip out much, but the last place I worked the
waitstaff tipped out 4% of a customers meal which when gathered
together at the ends of shifts becomes a fair amount for the staff
they had to tip out. True, when waitstaff get into the industry they
know they are going to come across jerks who do not tip at all or
well, but it's also true that when a patron decides to go out to dine
in somewhere they are knowing & should add the cost of a tip into
their planned cost of dining. So, considering nothing was wrong with
the service the waitress provided, when it doesn't seem like there was
as you would have complained about that as well, she provided great
service with making whatever the service min wage is where you live. &
it was Valentines Day, she probably didn't want to be at work, but
home with her sweetheart as well.

You'll never go back there again?
GOOD, I take it the waitstaff doesn't want to see you there again. &
if you did go there again, they would probably provide you would
secondary service as they know how you tip.

Although, I must admit, her coming up to you afterwards is a very
tacky.

I know that I am late here but I couldn't resist.

On a $80.00 tab 15% would be $12.00 and 20% would be $16.00. I carry
around a tip chart in my wallet so I know what the adequate amount is,
up to a $100.00 tab.

You sir or ma'am, are a cheapskate.

Troll.

Yep. I said it. Don't feed the trolls. I call shenanigens on this
letter.

and that the restaurant could press charges? I'm not sure WHERE he
heard this.

$5 on an $80 dollar bill???? You should be ashamed of yourself! The
standard is 15-20%, which means it should have been at least $12!
These servers make very little money and we all know that, so unless
you can learn to tip properly, stay home.

As far as the manager not sending you a gift card, Bravo!

I'm not a mind reader, and if you say the service was terrible, it's
pointless to dispute that. However, your letter as it stands makes no
sense without that important piece of information. I can't imagine why
you didn't say, "The food was terrific, but the service was terrible."
That's only five extra words and would have made the world of
difference in how your complaint was perceived. In fact, most of these
comments wouldn't even be here if you had only added those five words.
And since you chose to share your letter, I think it's safe to assume
you were also welcoming comments and opinions.

IVE NEVER BEEN TO THAT RESTEROUNT. BUT I DO KNOW AT MOST DRIVE THRU
RETEROUNTS POCKET YOUR MONEY. THEY RING UP YOUR TOTAL, AND IF U GIVE
CASH, THEY POCKET THAT MONEY. AND NEVER PLACE THE SALE. I KNOW THAT
DAIRY QUEEN IS BAD ABOUT THAT.

Several people have commented that they've divined the intent of the
OP, that the service wasn't bad because it wasn't mentioned in the
original letter.

I think most of you have read a fair number of letters here, as I
have. One thing that's obvious, is that few write the perfect letter.
It's entirely possible, even probable that the OP made a legitimate
oversight in not mentioning the service.

The only "evidence" to suggest otherwise, is that she mentioned if
"after the fact". We also have evidence that the server was rude by
the comment she made.

For ONCE, how about putting yourselves in the OP's shoes, and showing
them the same dignity and respect you'd like to receive yourselves.
You can speculate all you want about her motives, but 1) You're likely
to be wrong, and 2) It just shows how arrogant and judgmental you
are.

Even if you were right, and that's a big if, don't you think you've
beaten her up about it sufficiently now?

I'm not sure in which state you ate, but in most states waitstaff only
receive $2-$3 as an hourly wage. If you had a good experience, you
should leave more than a $5 tip on an $80 tab. Good service is
customarily given 10% tip ($8) and great service is customarily given
a 15% tip ($12). Also, if there were something wrong with your
service, you should have brought it to the attention of the manager at
the time of your visit.

How many people does it take to scold someone about a bad tip?
Apparently a lot.

Guess what, if I get bad service at a restaurant... I don't leave a
great tip either. Good service = good tip. Do your job and you get a
good tip from me.

Oh no! Time for my beating!

Yes, it was wrong for the waitress to say that but what a lot of
people don't realize is at many restaurants, the waitstaff have to
"tip out" the busers, etc. This means part of the tips go to other
people. And it is usually a set, mandatory rate based on the average
tips. That means, if you leave a lousy tip, the meal YOU enjoyed is
costing the waitress money out of her own pocket.
If you can't factor in a decent tip in your dining out plans, stay
home.

FYI.... Patrons don't show the restraunt staff this kind of disrespect
with a $5 tip on an $80 tab.

I agree that as a patron you should not be treated disrespectfully by
your waitress, and her comment was certainly out of line. I also
agree that it is your right to leave a really cruddy tip, and you
certainly exercised this right.

Be more respectful to your patrons? How about you be more respectful
to the waitstaff? A $5 tip for a $80 dinner is nothing more than a
slap in the face.

I had a bad experience with The Cheesecake Factory. This was when my
wife was pregnant, we were basically orering the same thing every
night and make it take out. Since she was prego she was addicted to
this dish and un-comfortable going out. It was the Shrimp Scampi.
This one night when we pordered it it came with only one little
shrimp. Normally they are big hearty shrimp and about 3 or 4 of them.
This was a tiny shrimp that you probably would see in a shrimp meal
by itself. When i called and spoke to the manager he claimed i was
wrong and the there take out food goes through a quality check and i
must be mistaken?! I told him i order this every night and i am well
aware of what the dish should look like. He spoke to me like i was
some sort of idiot not willing to admit his staff made the mistake.
He offered to send me a coupun for a free meal which i never did
recieve. I will never go back to the Cheesecake Factory on Ventura
Blvd ever again. I will drive the extra mile to go to the one in
Woodland Hills.

She was rude to say anything. I don't care if the tip you left WAS too
low. Working in customer service means biting the bullet and having
the maturity not to open your mouth when customers do annoying things.


YOu think the girl working the fitting room at Walmart doesn't want to
say "you need to pick up after yourself!" to the people who leave
clothes lying around? Or the coffee shop girl doesnt say "yeah, well,
you need to learn the difference between a latte and a frappucino!"
when they have to remake a drink?

If you don't have the customer service skills to know when its
appropriate to complain and when it is not, you need to find a
different line of work. A waitress never has ANY business berating a
customer for their tip, whether they left 10%, 5% or 1.37%. End of
story.

The server should not have made that comment. However, if the service
wasn't good, you could've mentioned it in the letter without making it
too long. Example-"The food was terrific, but the service was
horrible."

You're just trying to excuse the fact that you're a cheap tipper.

When I was about 10, and my sisters were about 7, we went out to lunch
with our Grandma. Now, Grandma was a little 'behind the times', and
was going to leave a very small tip. She didn't go out to eat often,
and wasn't up to date on the current percentages. This was years ago,
so I don't remember how much the bill was, or what she was going to
leave. But, what I do remember is that my sisters and I, at 7 & 10
years old, knew what the appropriate tip would be, and we came up with
some money to add to the tip that Grandma had left on the table.

I sure hope your boyfriend is smarter than a 10-year old, and can
learn what the appropriate tip should be. If not, then as others have
said, maybe McDonald's is more his type of restaurant.

I've read a lot of posts here about how little most waitstaff make.
I've never worked in the industry, so I'm just looking at the math.
Forget for a moment the $80 tab. From my experience, I'd say (and
please correct me if I'm wrong) that the average diner stays maybe an
hour tops. So with an hourly rate of $2 to $3, the $5 tip is $7 to $8.
For ONE table. Okay, others have said waitstaff have to share their
tips. Fair enough. Let's say they share HALF (is it even that high?).
That would put the sum at $4.50 to $5.50 for ONE TABLE. How many
tables does a typical server handle? 5? 10? 15? At the minimum of 5,
and giving half the tips to the other staff, even with this arguably
lousy tip they're making $22 to $23 per hour.

I don't doubt that waitstaff work hard. But there are an awful lot of
people in this country working just as hard for $6 or $7 an hour.

I am NOT advocating lousy tipping. I'd just like for some of the
people who are bemoaning the poor life of waitstaff, to put some math
behind their claims.

Is that a promise? I think the whole waitstaff is hoping it is.

If, as you said in a response to a comment below, the waitress was
"downright rude and had attitude" then you would have said so in your
complaint. Your "I wanted to keep the letter short" excuse is
ridiculous and obviously thought up after you read these comments to
try to justify how poorly you and your date tipped. You did not seem
to think an irrelevant comment regarding the food made the letter too
long.

Please stay away from non-fast food places if you cannot afford to tip
your server. All those who have waited tables would appreciate it.

Yes, the waitress was rude in telling you to leave more for a tip, but
you were INCREDIBLY rude in leaving a less than 10% tip! Do you
realize that servers make under minimum wage? Normally somewhere in
the $2-$3 range. They rely on their tips to make a living! That's what
they buy groceries with! That's what they pay their bills with! And on
top of that, they give a portion of their tips every night to the bar
staff/host/busboys.

You leaving $5 on an $80 bill is insulting. Especially since you
thought the food was so good. If the food and service are good, you
should leave at LEAST 20% (about $16 on your bill). If you ever do end
up going back to the restaurant, you'll probably receive shitty
service because the wait staff knows you're a crappy tipper.

Be a bit more generous to your wait staff. They live on their tips.

What a total cheapskate!!!! How embarassing! He needs to be more
respectful to the waitstaff!

There's a little something called a *tip card*, he can purchase one at
a stationary story. Or he can purchase a pocket calculator to figure
out the proper tip. It's quite apparent that he can't perform minor
math or doesn't understand HOW to tip.

Five Dollars on an EIGHTY DOLLAR BILL....RIDICULOUS!!

WOW. Disrespectful people. I manage a restraunt and know that 90% of
the guests have no idea that the servers themselves have to tip out
to
bussers and hostess, bartenders, and server assistants. If they was a
problem with the food, talk to the manager, why pay for something you
didnt get. Thats not the servers fault unless they wrote your order
down wrong.
The host, got your butt seated at a table. The bartender made you
alcoholics that drink. And the bussers clean up after your messy
children who you havent taught to respect public places. (If
anything,
the server should get 30% for listening to your kids scream all night
long.)

The economy is bad enough. These servers are usually working two jobs
to make ends meet. Some work fulltime.

Another thing, don't wait till the bill hits the table to start
complaining. A manager can't fix anything if you don't speak up.
Waiting till you see a bill for $200 after everything and then
thinking "oh this wasn't worht the money" dont take that family of 10
out to eat steaks. It's pricy. You see the prices in the brocery
stores. You think we get it any cheaper. Fuel cost sucks and it
trickles down hill.

Support your country and the economy that we live in and love.

It doesn't matter what the quality of service was. A tip is VOLUNTARY,
it's NOT the "entitlement" that we're led to believe. Yes, it was a
lousy tip. I usually tip 15% even for mediocre service, 20% or higher
for good service. But there are plenty of people who don't. There will
ALWAYS be poor tippers. If the waitress can't accept the realities of
the job with a bit of dignity and respect for her customers, she
should be in a different type of job.

well, first, you never said the service was bad, as a lot of posters
are saying. you didn't say it was good, but if you want to see
inconsiderate, look in the mirror. five lousy bucks for an 80 dollar
tab is a slap in the face. she was inconsiderate, yes, but you
started it. if the service was good the minimum tip should be 12.00,
or 15 percent. if the service was better than good, it should be
more. you should be ashamed of yourself.

well, first, you never said the service was bad, as a lot of posters
are saying. you didn't say it was good, but if you want to see
inconsiderate, look in the mirror. five lousy bucks for an 80 dollar
tab is a slap in the face. she was inconsiderate, yes, but you
started it. if the service was good the minimum tip should be 12.00,
or 15 percent. if the service was better than good, it should be
more. you should be ashamed of yourself.

While I am not excusing the response of the waitress, she should not
have said what she did, but $5 is not even 10%. If the service was
horrible then pershaps that would be sufficient. ALthough, I can
imagine just how busy she was on Valentine's Day. I would also ask
that you remember food servers make $2.13 an hour. They live on their
tips. The standard is 15%. If not more for outstanding service.

I think you should have left a much bigger tip if the food was good
and during the dinner the waitress was polite and considerate. I think
the waitress was rude to ask for more even though you gave her little.
A job like that is hard and stressful so I can understand why she'd be
upset.

I think the thing here is not so much the expectation that you should
reward crummy service, but as Branding pointed out, there are
circumstances beyond the waitstaff's control that sometimes they get
held accoutnable for.

Here's an example (although not food related):

I had to collect the client reviews for 2 of our service consultants.
These people are the ones who get the calls EVERYTIME something bad
happens and a client doesnt like it. They basically do nothing but
field complaints all day. All the clients were to rate the
consutlants on was their INDIVIDUAL performance and these ratings
would be used to factor the SC's pay increase for the next year.

Do you know that better than HALF the responses had a sentence like
this included, "Well, Ashley is SUPER - I couldn't ASK for a better
SC! She is polite, helpful, proactive and courteous, but I couldnt
give her a 9 in good conscience with all the problems we have been
having because of the pharmacy customer service area!" They ADMIT
knowing it wasnt her fault, yet they dinged her rating like they were
rating our company on the whole and she suffered for it.

With this OP, I am betting money that the fact that it was V-Day
played into the OP's alleged "bad service." She never mentions what
the waitress did that was so horrible and they did spend quite a bit
of money there, so my guess is they were there enjoying their meal for
quite a while. I haven't spent $80 on a meal at a restaurant like
this with my WHOLE FAMILY in tow! Let alone just two people.

I still say the OP was the one in the wrong here, whether the waitress
called her on it or not.

Could you imagine getting through V-Day at this restaurant - dealing
with SOB's all nite and this joker spends all that money on their meal
and leaves you $5?? Yeah, I'd have made a comment too. That was pure
rude.

I was actually a tech at a company that decided instead of paying
over-time, they would give us a "bonus" based on a customer
satisfaction survey of about 20 questions and an overall average.
-Nevermind the legality of it.
The first 15 were based on the sales process and project management,
the last 5 were based on me.
The sales guys never returned calls unless there was money due, and
the project manager was a woman who was part-time and never worked in
the industry.
The customers would write down major complaints about the sales people
(2 co-owners) and then write that "the install, tech, and service was
perfect, but the Sales Rep scheduled the wrong dates and ordered the
wrong parts...so I rated the install a 2 out of 5".
I just started getting the survey from the customer and "re-writing"
it for them.

I said to a coworker (who was in a department of two people) who was
STELLAR, by everyone's accounts (including mine!): "You do such an
awesome job, you never seem to make a mistake, but you catch everyone
else's mistake and you let us know so politely and helpfully about
them... you must have amazing reviews each year."

Her response: "[Boss] thinks it's not a legitimate review unless
there's something negative, so she usually has to take something weird
and twist it into something negative so she can be satisfied."

That's just sad.

I still don't get it.

For the record, I usually don't get bad service either and I tip very
well when I receive good service. But if a waitress does a poor job,
why should I give her as much as I would a waitress who does a great
job?

When I go to Outback, I always ask to be seated in the section of a
server named Mel. My iced tea glass is never more than half empty
before it's refilled, she brings lots of lemon/lime for my mother's
diet soda (even when we forget to ask her for some), and somehow
always remembers my kid is bread fiend so we she sees us, she brings
over a loaf before we even place our order. And we only go to Outback
on special occassions, so I have no idea how she remembers all that,
but she does.

So if someone could please explain to me why I should tip a waitress
who provides bad service as much as I tip Mel, I would be grateful,
because I really don't understand. I see no point in "rewarding" bad
service.

I keep thinking about the fact that the bill was $80. That's A LOT of
food and/or booze, even at Bravo. The most expensive entrees on the
menu are under $20 each. Even if you added appetizers and a few
glasses of wine, you were there for a while eating all that food.

If the service was so bad, why did you stick around and keep ordering?

Did you ever learn to tip your waitperson at least 15 percent (at the
very least)? An adequate tip would have been over ten dollars - to be
more precise, the appropriate tip amount for an 80-dollar tab would be
12 dollars for a 15 percent tip.

Please learn some math and some manners before dining out again.
Waiters and waitresses are not robots - they make a vat majority of
their income from those tips, and it is enraging to these hard-working
people to serve you to the best of their abilities and be given what
is pretty much chump change. If you feel ten or more dollars for a tip
is too much, then perhaps you should limit yourself to McDonald's and
Subway...or any other place where you are not expected to leave extra
money for service.
If anyone has the right to be stunned and speechless, it's the
waitress for being required to wait on you for a very very meager tip.

I never NEVER leave less than 20%. Usually it's about 25%. Of
course, it helps to be friendly with the waitress, perhaps even flirt
a bit. So by doing that, it establishes a great relationship with
your waitress, and thus, you get great service in return.

I can't remember the last time I got bad service. You have to keep in
mind how that waitress must feel after dealing with customers all day.
Anything to brighten their day is extremely helpful.

I was never a waiter, but I did work in retail quite a bit. After so
many bad/rude customers, it would only take one really nice one to
completely make my day and put a smile on my face. Niceness goes a
long long way.

Please keep that in mind the next time you dine out. And please tip
them at least 15%. I know it's not mandatory, but for what they have
to put up with, and the state of the economy right now, they probably
need those few extra bucks a LOT more than you do.

$5 on an $80 bill? Yikes, either you haven't been to a restaurant in
years, or you just didn't like your service. You should tip anywhere
from 15-20%. $5 is a slap to the waitress on a bill that much and she
knew it. Whether or not she should have said anything, I'm not sure,
but that's an insult.

Calling the manager and asking for a gift card is absurd and that's
probably why you haven't received your "precious gift card." Next time
tip more, it's just common courtesy and EVERYONE except you knows
that.

Sorry but you are so wrong on this one. Leaving a $5 tip was less than
10% of the bill...very rude and very cheap.

If you do not know the protocol for leaving tips there are websites
out there to help you.

Or like others have suggested just stick to MCD's or fast food places
where a tip is not required.

Wow, I could never be with anyone who tips $5 on an $80 bill.How
incredibly cheap. And if he tried, I would welcome the waitress
calling him out on it. I don't think you deserve anything. If
anything, you owe the waitress an apology.

Side note::: The food courts in the mall are cheap AND you dont have
to tip anyone.

I hit send too fast. I don't buy for a minute that your service was
bad as you state below. If it were, that would have been the first
thing you mentioned in your letter.

Most people, in a letter such as this, would be defending themselves
as to why they left such a terrible tip. The fact that you don't even
attempt it, says to me that you either didn't know it was a bad tip (I
highly doubt) or that you really just don't care that it was a cheap
move.

Either way, I will say the waitress was out of line and unprofessional
by bringing it up. However, she hopefully made an impact on you and
in the future, you'll mind YOUR manners in a restaurant.

Wow are you serious? You think they should be more respectful to you?
How about you be more respectful to your waitress!

A $5 tip is not only cheap, it's insulting....especially when you
yourself admit everything was great.

If you can't (or won't) afford to go out to eat and tip with class,
then sit at home.

Ridiculous.

You are the inconsiderate customer. $% is an insulting, cheap tip and
if your boyfriend is that much of a cheapskate you should dump him
immediately!

Here is an interesting situation that I faced while having dinner with
my folks in Orlando, FL. If I remember correct, it was a Chinese
resturant.

The menu had a foot note that said "Good Service Expects a 20% Tip".

When we got the check at the end, they had by default added 20% as
tip. That stunned me a bit. Am I, as a customer, the one who decided
if the service is good or do they decide that?

I had no complains on the food or service and I was going at a 20% tip
anyway, but their approach stumped me.

You are exactly the reason I quit the food service industry,
inconsiderant and shocked why you get the response you did when you
leave a 6% tip. You need to work in the industry to understand that it
is a thankless job and people rely on those tips to survive. I'm sure
they would appreciate it if you would not go back either.

was that exactly what she said? (yes, I do see the quotation marks) I
wondered if there was any chance that she was asking about the paltry
tip as a way of determining if she did something wrong?

You say the food was terrific, but you don't comment on the service.
I am assuming that the service was good or you would have stated
otherwise. You left a tip of about 6% of your tab, well below the
norm. You are angered at the waitress' question. She had every right
to ask about it, although as other posters have noted, she could have
gone about it in a more appropriate manner.

The only time I leave less than 15% is when I feel the service is
substandard. On those occasions, I write my reason for the reduced
tip on the restaurant's copy of my check so they can understand why.
These people work extremely hard. They deserve better treatment than
what you and your boyfriend exhibited.

Well, unfortunately it's true.....waitresses are NOT supposed to
comment on a tip, even if it's a cheap, measly, ridiculously low one.

Where I used to work, you could be fired for daring to talk back to a
cheapskate.

So the waitress will get a reprimend. You got your apology. All is
well in cheapskateville.

Well, I don't know how much I believe about what the waitress said,
but if she did say that, she was wrong. However, I don't think they
want your business since you left such a ridiculous low tip...maybe
you need to be more respectful to waitstaff.

I tip the people who deliver my groceries.

I have no clue how much one is supposed to tip people in this
circumstance.

If one of the delivery people said, "Is this what you really want to
tip? Most people leave more," I would be mortified in the short term
but grateful for the lesson in the longer term. It's not my intention
to shortchange someone whose hourly pay is low because people like me
are expected to tip. On the other hand, these people have always been
very very nice to me, so I cannot imagine that it would be said in a
rude way.

I really think that the inappropriateness of the comment depends on
how it was made, and the problem with a letter like this that doesn't
describe the way it was made is that some people out there think that
the slightest hint that they're not doing everything perfectly is a
vicious, rude attack and others don't -- and for those of us who do
not know you, Natalie, it's hard to figure out into which category you
fall. I appreciate your brevity, but I wish you had said "The
waitress stood by our table when we were signing the bill and checked
the tip as we were leaving our table. Then she moved between us and
the door and said, 'Is this what you really want to tip?'" or "My
boyfriend and I were discussing how much to tip, because neither of us
was sure, and we finally decided to leave $5. The waitress was with
another table as we got up, and I know she heard our discussion. As
we approached the door, she said 'Is this what you really want to
tip?'" or something.

That said, if you were promised a gift card you should have received a
gift card. No question.

Asking for more respect after leaving a $5 tip for an $80 meal is a
tad inconsiderate. Yes, the waitresses comment may have seemed rude
after two hours of ruminating over it, but cut her a little slack. I'm
sure one of the patrons could have addressed the manager or maitre 'd
about the comment then and there.

Waiting tables is one of the few jobs out there, based on an archaic,
abhorrant and demeaning pay scale. It must be a halfway decent dining
establishment, and this special meal must have gone at a relaxed pace
on a very busy night.

If the tables were turned, and the waitress was "Shocked and
Speechless", would it justify a $5 tip?

If the gift card is so important, then pursue it further with the
manager. If it was on a credit card, dispute the charge.

Hm, I think the waitress should have phrased it a bit more...nicely.

I use to wait tables...did it for a bit and got out of it. If I got a
dismal tip when I thought I deserved better, I would ask about it.

"Is there a reason that I'm being left a two dollar tip on a forty
dollar meal? Was my service not up to your expectations?" etc. (Yes,
someone did tip me two dollars and told me that I was great, but they
didn't have any more money for a tip. Grr.)

Most times, people who know that they should tip more give more money
if they are politely called on it. If people truly thought I gave bad
service, then I was willingly to listen to their reasons and that was
that.

If I was you and the waitress told me that, just be frank and honest,
in a polite way. Tell her why you decided not to tip her well. But
still, even when I receive not so great service, I always leave at
least 10%.

you had terrific food and probably a very nice time.

And you repay the quality of the service by leaving an insulting tip
of less than 7%! I think that after working a hard night, I may have
slipped and said something like that as well.

Your tip sucked, plain and simple. It isn't rocket science to see
that to leave 10%, the tip would be $8. 10% is a horrible tip also.
So what you do, is take half of that, or $4 and add it to the $8 to
get $12 or 15%, the standard tip. But, don't tip on tax.

If your math is that bad, at least leave 10% so it isn't a complete
waste of the server's time.

Granted the server should not have made a comment about the tip, but
$5.00 for an $80.00 tab is pretty insulting. You state that the food
was "terrific" but in your comments below you state the service was
poor. Exactly what do you define as service poor enough to leave an
insulting tip and not bring the issues to the attention of the manager
before paying the bill and leaving the restaurant?

To all who say the waitress was rude for saying anything, I disagree.
I once left a much smaller tip than was appropriate -- I just wasn't
thinking and didn't do the math correctly or something. It wasn't on
purpose. The waiter said something to me (I wish I could remember his
exact words, but it was a while ago), and I was so embarrassed that
I'd screwed up to a degree where the waiter had to point it out to me!
Another time, I did the math wrong again (I swear, I love math and
I'm usually good at it) and WAY overtipped, like 40%. The waitress
said something then as well, and allowed me to fix it. (That was very
gracious of her.)

So while the waitress probably should/could have used better wording,
she had every right to say something about a too-low tip.

I'm also curious as to what constitutes "poor service" by this letter
writer. We've seen plenty of examples at this site of a letter writer
complaining about horrible service, but then when the infractions are
listed and described, it turns out it wasn't such a big deal at all.

And sorry, but I'm loathe to trust the judgment of someone who thinks
it's appropriate to leave an abysmal tip on Valentine's Day evening,
but not think to speak with the manager during the course of the meal
in order to deal with the matter appropriately and maturely.

I agree, there was no need for the waitress to say that! I probably
would have taken my $5 back and left nothing, just for that comment.

That is awful. While it was unacceptable for her to ask for more tip.

My husband and I went out on Valentines day and the service was good,
I got the wrong food, ate it anyways. We had a nice waitress, but she
was very busy. We had a bill that was a little over $60, and we left a
$20 tip, simply because it was Valentine's Day and if nobody worked on
Valentine's day because they wanted to be with their loved ones, we
wouldn't be there eating. The restaurant wouldn't be open, etc.

I do agree that asking for more tip is tacky and inappropriate.

HOWEVER, your social graces could use a little reviewing. A 7% tip?
Thats HALF of what you should be giving, unless the service was
horrible (which, if it was, you left it out of your letter. And the
note doesnt count because that would not be inclusive in the decision
to leave a crappy tip)

The bare minimum for a tip is 15%, period. Even if you get less then
stellar service, you still should leave 15%. Reserve the shiesty tip
for someone who deserves it!

If you and your boyfriend can't afford to tip properly, you should not
eat at establishments where the staff works for tips. McDonald's
might be more appropriate.

If the service was poor, you say something to the manager.

Shame on you. You obviously never waited tables.

Natalie, I saw your reply below. You say the service was terrible.

That should be the focus on your complaint. When the service was so
bad, you should have raised it with the manager. At the very least,
this will allow the manager to remedy the problems THEN... and save
your evening.

If you notified the manager, at the time, and the problems weren't
addressed, then you have a bad manager. (Given that he's stiffed you
on the gift card, I'd be inclined to say that he is a lousy manager).

The waitress was, yes, out of line for saying this to you. However,
people do make mistakes in calculating tips and I don't blame someone
(that relies on tips to make a living) for wanting to confirm that you
left what you "should have." It's rude, absolutely. Out of line,
yes. But understandable.

Instead of being stunned and speechless (especially since she was a
horrendous waitress otherwise), you should have said "Yes, I'm leaving
you a tiny tip because you provided unacceptable service."

Personally, I don't believe in leaving "small" tips. You either tip
15%, because that's the "service charge" or you give no tip (after
raising your concerns). If you're shy, writing "Unacceptable service,
$0" on the tip line of the credit card bill is an option (albeit a
passive aggressive one).

A 6.25% tip makes it look like you can't do math, not that the service
was unacceptable. Which is why she said what she said.

the problems with this situation, shall we?

1) It was a holiday - a tremendously busy evening.

2) You say the food was terrific

3) Your bill was $80, which for just 2 people, was high at a chain
restaurant like this.

4) You left a $5 tip which amounted to LESS than 10% and state nowhere
that the server deserved this.

5) You are somehow surprised that the server (who, again, you never
mentioned didn't earn a better tip than that) made mention of the
paltry payment.

6) You think you DESERVE a gift card for that?

You should be ashamed of yourselves - didn't your parents teach you
any manners?

If that had been me, I'd have told you to keep your $5. You obviously
needed it more than the waitress.

Come on.... the issue in this letter is NOT the tip she or her
boyfriend left... it's the fact that the waitress had the teremity to
question the amount of the tip. That's NOT good service and should not
be done EVER.

No one would be making those remarks if she had said she left a $15
tip and the waitress said what she did.

Can we at least try to focus on the complaint and not what the OP
should or shouldn't have left... last time I checked, tipping wasn't
mandatory.

I agree with the other posters. Your boyfriend left a bit over a 5%
tip. 15-20% is the norm.

I'm assuming the service was good, you didnt mention otherwise.If you
cant afford to leave more than "little over $5 tip" you should eat
some fast food. Ridiculous.

Good Day

Waitresses get paid $2.65 per hour here in Michigan. If you pay them a
$5 tip, they are losing out on money they deserve. They simply aren't
paid enough to deal with BS.

You should be ashamed. You do not mention anything about not having
good service. It may not have been stellar service on Valentines day,
but even adequate service deserves at least 15%.

You got exactly the respect you deserved. Five lousy bucks on an $80
bill on Valentines Day - you should be dead ashamed of yourself. That
poor woman was probably swamped all night, not to mention she was
unable to spend the holiday with her loved ones. You apparently had
good service and were unforgivably cheap to your server. This
complaint should never have been written. You have no reason to
complain.

That is horrendous. I can't believe the manager offered you a gift
card. You should be sending them a gift card. If the food was so
great and you liked it so much, why the lousy tip?

I agree that the waitress was out of line in this case, but as others
pointed out, you left less than 10%. The standard for tipping is 15%,
unless you receive exceptionally poor service in which case you need
to speak to a manager.

For future reference, invest in a tip chart. Since I'm terrible at
math, it has helped me tremendously.

If I were you, I wouldn't want to go back there either - but only
because I would be ashamed to show my face!
It was tacky of her to say something, but for good food and service,
it was tacky for you to stiff her on the tip. One other thing to
remember - people who are willing to be that disrespectful of a server
are usually disrespectful of people in general. That's not someone
that I would want to be in a relationship with.