Subtle Comments = Racial Prejudice

The most disgusting part of people like this crying racist at every
turn is when there is real racism involved it lessens the validity of
the cry.

Heck I just heard someone call a radio program about the election and
gave a long reasoned argument why she was voting for Hillary but the
host said "SORRY EVERYONE WHO DOESN'T SUPPORT OBAMA IS RACIST!"

I loved her comeback "WELL THEN EVERYONE NOT VOTING FOR HILLARY IS
SEXIST AND IF YOU'RE ANTI MCCAIN YOU'RE AN AGIST!"

OMG!!!!!
Why does EVERYTHING have to be about RACE!!! Believe me, life is much
more than your skin color. GET A LIFE!

I once overheard a cashier joke to a lady's young daughter who came up
to the till with 3 overflowing carts that "You have enough money for
all this, right?" The girl couldn't had been older than 16, she
smiled. Not the mom though. She started screaming at the cashier,
calling her racist for assuming she couldn't pay for all that stuff
(which had to be an easy $750) because she was Asian...?

I really don't know how that person drew that conclusion, and I barely
know how you're drawing yours. I wasn't there, so the context of how
she said it could be coming off wrong, but from what you've shared,
you're overreacting, and the freebie grab discredits your complaint
completely.

Lighten up. You are part of the problem.

As for the reimbursement - no way.

Maybe she confused it for a deep fryer...
And a lot of white people like fried chicken as well. She most likely
though oh its a frier, and made her comment.

The only problem is that the cashier didnt know her crock pots from a
deep fryer. Thats what she needs training for.

A lot of people use crock pots to cook chickens. Was there, by chance,
a picture of a chicken on the box? Maybe thats what confused her.

I have to agree with the majority. It would appear that people are
looking for insults to pounce on as "racist". I may get flamed for
this but when it comes to the African American community they need to
attack the source and remove it from their own culture first. You
can't support the rap artists who use the "N" word, allow it's use
among yourselves and then cry "racism" when someone outside of your
culture simply repeats what has been fed to them through their ipods
thinking it's acceptable.

Regardless of race, I think it is a blatant insult to accuse ANYONE of
liking fried chicken. Imagine! Frying a chicken! How insulting!!!

There have been complaints on this site about cashiers being quiet
while ringing up a purchase, and the customer deciding the cashier's
failure to interact with her HAD to be racism because of the
customer's race.

Next come the complaints that the cashier was friendly, but did not
engage in small talk - which means the cashier HAD to be racist.

Then there are the complaints that a cashier counted the money out,
and the customer deciding that too HAD to be as a racist statement
that customer was trying to steal or was not smart enough due to her
race to count the correct amount for herself.

Now, we have a cashier who tried to be friendly and chat with a
customer about how a purchase might be used. Even though nothing more
was said and no refusal of a sale or other problems happened with the
transaction, this small talk HAD to be racism because the customer
feels that any mention of something the customer thinks is a
stereotype is racist.

I guess there is just no winning with some people. My opinion is that
if a person wants to feel that the world is against them, they are
going to find ways to justify their feelings. If people want to find
racism and feel victimized, they are going to. That a remark might be
taken more than one way is irrelevant as one of the ways might mean
the person making it holds a stereotype in her head, so the remark HAD
to be some form of racism.

In my opinion, it is this kind of thin-skinned, reactionist complaint
that makes it harder for persons who truly suffer from racism to be
taken seriously.

Maybe she was saying SHE was having fried chicken that night!

Ahh...the race card again. Where people will twist ANYTHING that is
said to them into something "racist."

So much ignorance here.

"Everyone knows you can't cook fried chicken in a crock pot."

What rubbish. I own a crock pot that goes from 100oF up to 500oF.
Guess what, you CAN cook fried chicken in it. Not all crock pots are
slow cookers only.

I had a similar incident, only not so subtle.

I'm Italian, and I put lasagna noodles, ricotta cheese, mozzarella,
crushed tomatoes, basil, peccorino romano cheese, ground meat,foil
lasagna pans, and london broil that was on sale for 1.79 a pound on
the belt at the supermarket.

The african-american cashier licked her lips and said "I know what
you're having for dinner! tee hee tee hee!"

I said "Oh? Really? What am I having for dinner?"

She looked at me and giggled "Why, Lasagna, silly!"

Why is this African American woman allowed to jump to such a
conclusion? Her job is to check out groceries, not to "guess who's
making what".

She was dead wrong, and I have the reciepts and witnesses to prove she
was mistaken. I was making corned beef and cabbage, the lasgana was
for the next night. I laughed it off, but I had every right to make a
federal case out of it.

Should I call "The Sons of Italy" and threaten a civil rights lawsuit?
This was clearly a case of "Stereotyping" by "Ethnicity" like the
"caucasian" woman at Linen's and Things.

Whew...guess its either crock pots or tires...either one causes racial
prejudice to raise its ugly head.

WOW-it's a ridiculous assumption that the cashier's comment was
racist. Maybe the girl was in the mood for fried chicken, and mixed
up a crock pot and a deep fryer.

It's not like she said anything derogatory to your husband-I feel to
see how guessing someone eats or likes chicken is offensive. As far
as stereotypes go, I would think that's a pretty innocuous one anyway.
There are a heck of a lot of caucasians that like fried chicken-me
included. And stereotypically, southerners eat fried chicken,
regardless of race.

People need to chill out and stop looking for reasons to complain
their feelings are hurt!

I can see how you could be offended. It is a stereotype that the
African American population enjoys fried chicken, and she should have
not made those types of comments.

The way to avoid this is not through diversity and sensitivity
training, but through simple cashier training. Make no comments about
what the customer is purchasing. You can be friendly, but just stick
to the transaction. Such as - "Welcome to ___ did you find what you
needed today? Great! (rings items in) Your total today comes to be
$___ please. Here you go, thank you for coming to _____ we hope you
chose us again for all your shopping needs"

Our company has provide numerous training sessions on diversity and
such. About as useless as it gets. Has had no impact whatsoever.

Wow.

As an anti-racist advocate, I can tell you that this situation is more
than unfortunate...for more than one reason.

First, it certainly sounded like a moronic comment from someone who
doesn't understand the implications of racism, nor the insensitivity
of a comment like that.

Second, I would have liked to hear that your husband asked her what
she meant by that. I understand that an inflammatory comment such as
that does not make one inspired to begin a dialogue, but honestly, it
would have brought about some clarity straight away.

Third, why would he buy the crockpot?!!!

If you think that your money isn't appreciated...especially from a
racist, why would you give them business?

In conclusion, I support your anger and frustration over the
situation, but your husband did in fact make the purchase. I don't
see why they such give you monetary compensation for something for
this.

I do support the idea that management should require diversity and
sensitivity training...and possibly use this as an example. You
know, the cashier will be confronted, and they will most likely lie.


Since your husband did not ask for a manager and just went ahead with
the purchase, it sends a signal that this behavior was acceptable, and
therefore, there was no problem.

Racism is a well-documented, real issue. The only weapon against it
is accountability...so if one finds themselves in a situation where
there is suspected racism, call the person out...ask them what they
meant....in some cases, you may be surprised that something was just a
big misunderstanding...in other cases, you will expose them for the
racist they are and they will have to be responsible for their
actions.

Reminds me of my wedding day. Our old church leader handed my husband
a gift certificate to Montgomery Inn (excellent rib place) and said,
"I've never met a black guy who didn't like ribs!" He was Korean, and
probably figured it was cool to joke like that with another man of
color, although I would have loved to see his face if my husband
replied, "All right, but don't come visit anytime soon. We've got a
kitty, and I've never met a Korean who doesn't like cat!"

Anyway, ugly stereotypes WILL rear their heads at the darndest times.
I, for one, empathize with you. Have you considered going back to the
store to speak with the employee in question? Her response will tell
you right away if, as some commenters have suggested, her remark was
innocent (whereas, if she says, "Look, it was just a joke, don't be so
sensitive," or "Hey, my brother-in-law is black, and I know for a fact
y'all love some FRIED CHICKEN!!!" your complaint is legitimated). I
definitely suggest speaking to management at the store level (this
letter goes to corporate), but the threat of a lawsuit and a request
for a free crockpot detracts from an otherwise legitimate complaint.

Are you serious? Was this girl young? Maybe a teenager? My teenager
thinks you can boil an egg in the microwave, I know, she tried it last
week. Come on, don't play the race card because a young lady may not
have known what a Crock Pot is. Did your husband ask her what she
meant by the comment? I bet NOT. He probably looked at her in
puzzlement and came home and told you the story, where you promptly
decided it was racially charged. Jeez, get a life.

Your accusation is inexcusable. Like what others said,everyone is
different and people have different views. You assume things, and take
things the wrong way which is how you are..but that doesn't mean you
should go expressing how you feel to other people, when there's almost
%100 probability that they weren't being racist. I see nothing wrong
with what she said.You wrongfully assumed, and took her comment the
wrong way and that is unfair to her.How would you know if she happens
to be hispanic?European?Muslim? People don't always look their race.
How would you know if she grew up in a not so good neighborhood and
dealt with hardships? You know nothing about her, you automatically
assume she's a snobby, "racist caucasian". Think before you start
preaching racist!

Okay, as a Southerner and a Texan, I've heard similar comments about
fried chicken, grits, beer, rodeo and cowboys. It gets really old,
really fast and I can see why the OP's husband would be upset, since I
get snarky when I hear that stuff. Before anyone says it's not the
same, some people do not like Southerners or Texans. I actually had
someone tell me once that I didn't 'deserve' to be happy since my
family was from the South.

That being said, there are ways to handle this crap that will work
better than letters on a third party website. The place to handle it
was when it happened.

I think it's very easy to see what we want to see and hear what we
want to hear. It's easy to create situations for ourselves that we
can then use as comparisons to justify our perceptions. Perceptions
are always wrong. They are our own fragmented fantasies played out to
justify our anger about something, or our need to be right, or our
need to win. It's a huge waste of time.

None of us, including yourself is exactly sure if the cashiers comment
was meant to be racist or not because we know absolutely nothing about
her past, her present and certainly not her future. That means we
know nothing about what her comparitive perception is from her life in
line with her comment to your husband. And then how that translates
to you receiving $50.00 and a free crock pot is completely an insane
request. You didn't dignify yourself with that comment at all. You
could have left it alone before that comment and perhaps garnered more
fans to your side of the story.

Whatever! It doesn't really matter. What matters is that we go
around blaming each other for inadequacies that we may or may not
control. Neither is right and neither is wrong.

Peace!

As stated, the cashier said, "Mmmm, fried chicken tonight." All that
makes me think is that she was really hungry or decided what she
wanted to do for dinner. Screaming racism at every turn is degrading
to legitimate issues. Is it going to get to the point no one can say
anything without being accused of something?

I have to agree with a few other posters here. I truly believe she
thought it was a deep fryer you were purchasing. After all, many are
usually the same size, and look quite similar as well. I think the
cashier was totally innocent, and was just trying to be friendly with
small talk. After all, the first thing I think of when I think of a
deep fryer IS fried chicken.

Now, if she would've said "hog mawls and chit'lins", then I think it
would've been obvious what her angle was.

Let's look at this realistically though. Certainly there is plenty of
racism around. However, I SERIOUSLY doubt that anyone working in
retail would be so blatantly racist to a customer on purpose. People
may be dumb, but they ain't stupid. Anyone with half a brain working
retail knows that showing racism towards a customer is the fastest
ticket to the unemployment line.

In any case, no, you do not deserve the item for free. That kind of
gimme-grab really undermines the pain that people suffer through
blatant racism. "Oh, racism was shown to the black man? Eh, just
give him the crock pot for free, and everything's cool again"

See how bad that sounds?

Let's see I am white ...I eat chicken???

AM I not suppose to.

Get a life and stop making something out of nothing!


You can't fry chicken in a crock pot.

My guess is she thought it was a deep fryer and this had nothing to do
with your husbands race!

If she said something like oh...you not stealing this today...then you
can complain!

Why just the other day, I ordered a turkey sandwich at a deli - and
the counter person had the nerve to ask me, "Would you like mayonnaise
on this, sir?" I am sure it was because I am Caucasian and she was
thinking that meant I liked mayonnaise and should be called sir.

Then yesterday, a waiter at a sushi place brought chopsticks to my
table while smiling. I now KNOW it had to have been because he was
laughing at me and thought my race meant I could not use them and
would eat with a fork.

I should have demanded both these employees be fired and that I get
free stuff. From now on, I intend to be on the lookout for these
racists.

And before anyone misunderstands me, the above is DRIPPING in
sarcasm.

First off, your husband should be writing this letter if it upset him
so much.

Second, if he was offended by the comment, he should have spoken to
the manager before leaving the store or called when he got home.

That being said, I do think the comment made by the cashier was
sterotypical toward people of color and you have right to be
contacting the management of Linen N Things. However I do not believe
that entitles you to a free $50.00

BBQ Chicken...yes. In fact, it's the only thing I've ever made in a
crock pot. Fried Chicken? That cashier has some 'splaining to do.
Maybe she is dumb enough to think it was a deep fryer? Still sounds
like she was trying to slip a stereotype in there, though.

You know what bugs me? Is those KFC commericals that have black people
fighting over the chicken. The worst one is where mom calls home to
see what kind of chicken everyone wants and their grabbing the phone
from each other. I don't know how their marketing department got away
with those. Yet the commercial fighting over the potatoes is a white
family.

Usually, I'm against people playing the race card. In this case,
however, I do think this was a racist comment.

Do I think this justifies a lawsuit, however? No. You should have
asked for a manager at the time of the incident.

that Laurie's comment was far from thoughtful or even logical, (Who
fries chicken in a crock pot?!) I don't understand how that should
translate into some sort of compensation for you.

Is there some unwritten rule that says if someone screws up, you get
something of value? Why is that? People screw up every day - they're
human. Doesn't mean you benefit if you catch them messing up.

While it is a good thing that you brought Laurie's glaring error in
judgement to their attention, let them deal with their own HR issues
and don't think that you deserve to get something just because this
clueless girl said something ignorant without thinking.

Her comment was sterotypical, and rude. And as for the other comments
made here, ignore them. Unless you have been the victim of
sterotyping, and or racism you know NOTHING about the matter. And to
downplay your husbands experience is wrong,and racially insensitive. I
would love for all those who cry "race card pulling" to live a day in
the life of a black man or woman. Maybe then they could open their
eyes and see the bigger picture....then again........maybe not.

You just proved the point that some people will do anything to get
something for free.
What I find really sad about thsi letter is that there are real cases
of racism, and to make an issue over this is beyond me.

"the Caucasion cashier"

I wonder why HER race was important?

Suppose she were African-American. Would it change anything?

I think you could be making too much of this. Sometimes comments are
just made with no thought of race.

Some years back in college, I called a black man I worked with "boy",
in the context of something like "Hey boy, how's your day going". I
called most males that, and the fact that he was black wasn't a factor
at all for me. He was simple George, the guy I worked with. He was
taken aback, but listened to me and realized it was in NO way a racial
comment, and we were cool.

So your husband is insulted based on his race and he thinks he should
get a free crockpot? Oh, how deep his convictions must run!

oh for god's sake, this is ridiculous. i'm 50, i don't get upset
when people call me a girl. it's the same thing. the presidential
candidates have proven there is more sexism in this country than
racism, even barack obama feels that way. so when is life fair? i
doubt that she meant anything racial. but even if she did, you're
always going to encounter ignorant people. sometimes a fish is just a
fish, don't make it into something it's not. if you really think you
need to make a statement, join a group that fights for racial
equality, stop writing to whine about an individual. aim higher.

You were not involved in this situation - - your husband was - - and
if he was upset about what was said he should have written the
complaint - - not you.

Furthermore, no matter what allegedly happened, he proceeded with the
purchase of the crock-pot and as such there is no reason why he should
be reimbursed.

I'm wondering if the cashier thought it WAS a deep fryer, hence the
fried chicken remark. But I suppose it is possible she was being rude
- in which case, I would have stopped dead in my tracks in the middle
of what I was doing, stared at her and said "EXCUSE me?" Her reaction
would have said it all. If she stammered and blushed and looked away
(or apologized), odds are she was making a crass joke. If she looked
confused, she probably didn't mean any harm.

Either way, you're not entitled to a free crock pot.

I'm not sure if she was intentionally being malicious, or just being a
ding-dong (haha, stealing that from leanne). Perhaps she thought she
was being funny or cute. Of course, she should be more careful about
it - you never know how "Humor" like that is going to come across to
strangers (especially at work!)

I think its pushing it, expecting reimbursment for something that you
bought, even AFTER the comment was made. You certainly are within your
rights not to shop there if she was being offensive. But adding that
demand it makes the letter feel more like an attempt to get a free
crockpot. Yes, I do agree that the employee needs to be spoken to
about it.

Diversity training is something that is more common in companies that
deal with customer service, and its actually pretty helpful, IMO. I
just went to a diversity workshop thingy for my company a few months
ago and it does bring up some things that we don't usually think
about.

You're all going to jump on me for this so let me prepare...

Ok I'm ready.

RELAX! Most likely the cashier thought that your hubby was purchasing
a deep fryer, and some people use that to make fried chicken. Maybe
she was an idiot and didn't know that you cant fry in a crock pot.
Sometimes it takes a bigger man to excuse people of their short
comings. A rush to judgement and calling out the mob with lit torches
and pitch forks doesn't help make things better.

My hubby is Puerto Rican and he LOVES fried chicken. I just think this
gal was being a ding dong and didn't know her appliances well and just
screwed up the conversation.

I couldn't get bent out of shape by a supposed racial steriotype
regarding what food I eat. That is assuming that was indended as
something racial and not just some goofball cashier not thinking
before she speeks. You said it yourself, you don't even know what she
says to other customers. I agree that she needs to be talked to by
management and let know that some things said could be taken the wrong
way by people who are sensitive but I don't think he deserves his
money back.

It would have been nice to have your husband write the letter instead
of you doing it for him...

ummmm...I dunno...I'm kinda torn here...maybe she didn't realize...I
mean if I was working at a store and a person of Hassidic Jewish
origin came to my counter, I would'nt say "find any bargains?" Its
the same exact thing...they might take it the wrong way.

Alfreda,

I don't know if the comment was racially motivated, made in jest or
based on fact as in what I found.

Take a look at this:

Crockpot "Fried" Chicken

1 (2-3 lb) fryer, cut into serving pieces

1 cup all-purpose flour

1 tsp. salt

1 tsp paprika

1 tsp dried sage leaves or oregano

1/4 tsp garlic powder

1/8 tsp freshly ground pepper

butter or vegetable oil

Rinse chicken pieces and pat dry.
Combine flour with remaining ingredients except butter.
Toss chicken pieces with flour mixture to coat.
In skillet, heat butter to 1/4-inch depth and cook chicken over
medium-high heat until golden brown.
Place browned chicken in crock pot, adding wings first; add no liquid.

Cover and cook on low 8-10 hours or on high 4-5 hours.

Have a great day.
BillR.