Birthday Dinner

Hi Wendy,

My name is Yoree and I am a reporter from the Columbia News Service.


I am writing a story about different policies that restaurants have
regarding how birthdays are celebrated at their restaurants. I came
across your old post during my research and was interested in learning
a little more about what happened and your experience. Would it be
possible for me to ask you some questions either by phone or email?

I can be reached at yak2106@columbia.edu.

Many thanks and I look forward to hearing from you.

Yoree

This is another case of someone wanting something for free because
the waiters do sing. Give me a break. I find extremely offensive to
listen to the waiters singing happy birtherday , and in some cases
very loud at that. It ruins other people's meals, and if that was your
itent, you shold pay for the other people's meals you intended to
ruin.

Although I do believe you have the right to be disappointed, you don't
have the right to force them to sing. They don't "do that anymore" and
to make an exception for you would have been wrong.

Your dinner should not be "credited" since you didn't eat there. So
they don't owe you anything. But I do hope your daughter had a happy
birthday.

I don't see why your daughter couldn't have had a perfectly nice meal
without the waiters singing to her. When it happens on my birthday,
it's nice, but I couldn't care less if it didn't. My family sings to
me, and that's more important because I know them.

While the Song IS copyrighted
(http://www.snopes.com/music/songs/birthday.asp)

It CAN be sung at restatunts, with permission. Also it states that it
is not enforced.

And it is just fine for YOU to sing it to her. (and to anyone else)

Everyone should know by now that HAPPY BIRTHDAY is copyrighted, and
singing it in a public place is a violation of copyright laws.
Restaurants disallowed that practice many years ago, but some still
let the staff come out clapping loudly, stomping their feet, and
yelling YEEHAW or some other irritating nonsense. It's just a darn
shame that you "had" to go somewhere else. If that's the only thing
you can find to complain about, then you should be thankful.

Is there a typo in your letter? Did you mean to type that your
daughter was celebrating her second birthday and not her 20th? I can
sort of understand if you wanted this for her second birthday but at
20 yrs old she probably would not want you to have done this.

I will have to remember to go to TGI FRiday next year on my birthday
because they do not sing.

I'm surprised that you didnt demand that signs be hung on the front
doors that say "we dont sing happy birthday here"!


Good Day

You do not deserve a comp. You and your party should have sung to your
daughter. The staff could have been busy and did not have time top
sing.

Really Ruined Birthday? All you had to do was stand up and sing it to
your daughter if it was that important. Was the birthday song not a
free service anyway in the past. They didn't charge you for doing it
did they? You didn't pay for the service and not get it.

I can't imagine anyone having their birthday ruined because a business
would not sing to them.

I agree with others that the noise is bothersome when establishments
do this anyway. 99.9% of the other people are not having a birthday
trying to eat or have conversation and most could care less if you are
celebrating one.

You ate the dinner you certainly don't deserve a credit. If they had
signs posted saying we sing you a birthday song on your birthday or
your meal is free then YES. I have yet to see that sign up.

I'm not sure I understand the letter. Sounds like they ate their
dinner then went somewhere else just so she could be sung too? Or did
they eat again? Or just have cake?

This letter needs more details for anyone to respond to it and I doubt
the dinner will be credited at all. I would think the dinner out would
be celebration enough, some nice time with family, laugh and be merry!
I personally dislike the restaurant singing stuff myself.

I'm sorry but if this is true I find it so mighty ironic for personal
reasons! One of my first letters here was about that very subject to
TGIFridays too but for loudness. Too funny.

While I can understand that you were very disappointed you still
cannot get comped for your meals. You could have asked the host(ess)
before seating you if the staff does this or not.
The only way you should get comped for these meals if there were
something wrong with the food or the service.
I am going to assume that you put these meals on a credit card because
you are asking for these to be credited. If you can dispute the
charges baised on your disappointment in not having the staff sing
"Happy Birthday" then go for it, otherwise you should not get credited
or comped for these meals.

Did you know that the happy birthday song is the most plagerized song
ever?


Good Day

I'm going to go a different route here and say that if it was
important to the OP to have "Happy Birthday" sung to her daughter then
her feedback is on this is perfectly acceptable. Personally, it
wouldn't ruin MY night, but that's just me.

I don't, however, think it warrants a free meal. There is no law that
says a restaurant HAS to sing "Happy Birthday" upon request.

I work at a similar chain restaurant and we're not allowed to sing
either. Two years ago we were sued by a woman because she said we
embarrassed her...even though someone told us to sing.

Nothing was ruined. She didn't die and neither did you, so it kind of
takes the steam out of your allegation of them "ruining" things for
you.

If the end all and be all of your daughter's 20th birthday was being
publicly humiliated by a bunch of off-key waiters, I think THAT would
have ruined the night more than them NOT singing.

Secondly, did you EAT there or not? You indicate you went to "another
establishment" so my understanding is that you found out they no
longer did the birthday thing and left. What is there to be comped
for?

Oh, & next time, call ahead to find out if they do such events. It
will save you "ruining" your evening.

Maybe you should of taken her to Joe's Crab Shack instead. They make
the birthday boy/girl get up and dance around the restaurant while
they sing a stupid song. And no, you are not entitled to get your
money back because they refused to sing "Happy Birthday". You made the
choice to go to another restaurant so that is on you. They wouldn't
sing Happy Birthday. Big freaking deal. Why couldn't yourself and the
rest of your party get up and sing?

As a server, I can tell you, singing happy birthday is extemely
annoying, disruptive, and completely unnecssary. It's been my
experience that almost 100% of birthday guests would prefer to not be
embarrassed at dinner or lunch. Once it is someone's birthday in the
restaurant, it's everyone's birthday in the restaurant, meaning,
suddenly tables all over want the singing and a complimentary dessert.
I agree with the previous poster. Go to Chuckie Cheese next time.

If you had called the restaurant ahead of time, you would not have had
to go to the considerable trouble of planning and hosting two birthday
parties for your daughter. Your not checking ahead of time is not
their fault.

Next year, I suggest Chuck E. Cheese. I understand that they are very
celebratory.

The issue here really is whether or not they advertise this service.
If not, then they didn't do anything wrong, and I don't think they owe
you anything.

That was your entire party plan for your daughter? Having a bunch of
strangers sing Happy Birthday to her? Well, to each her own, but if it
was truly that important, you should have called ahead to make sure
they could accomodate you. You are NOT entitled to a free meal.

Wendy H.,

Many eateries have stopped this due to as others state: noise,
associates being pulled from station to sing causing service sanfus
and other reasons.

I would also wager that when this was first started it was for
children of school age and folks of all ages glommed on to it and
ruined it.

I'd like your daughter's take on this.

BillR.

Please tell me you're joking...your 20 year old daughter's birthday
was ruined because the waitstaff wouldn't sing happy birthday; and now
you want a free meal.

Why should they give you a free meal? Did you eat the meal? You
wrote :I would like for our dinner to be credited as I had to go and
celebrate my daughter's birthday at another establishment that still
offered birthday celebrations" - so did you eat twice????

I too just had a birthday. We went to a couple of places in the 2
days before. My husband felt is was his job to tell everyone. I was
offered a few times to have people sing to me. I begged them "NO!
Please NO!" it is a pain for them, annoying to other people eating and
an embarrassment to me.

Why didn't you just sing to her in the car or at home?

They don't offer it anymore? That alone is reason to go there.

I assume you ate your entire meal so why should you get a refund? If
you felt you were owed something, you should have spoken to the
manager. He or she may have offered you a free dessert to make up for
the lack of singing.

When I was 20, I would have been mortified if my mother had the
restaurant sing to me on my birthday.

with the other posters. If a bunch of disinterested strangers going
through the motions of sincerity and singing an off-key version of
Happy Birthday while other diners look on with annoyance is what it
takes for your daughter's birthday not to be ruined, you should get
it. Just not from a place that doesn't offer it.

If the singing is going to make or break your daughter's birthday, you
might consider calling in advance.

However, at 20 years old, I'm sure your daughter is mature enough to
realize that spending her birthday dinner with her mom is more
important that obnoxious clapping by a dozen waiters/waitresses.

Many places no longer do this due to complaints from other customers.

If you felt entitled to not paying for your meals, why didn't you say
anything at the time?

It doesn't matter. I think this request is way out of line. And not
being sung to "ruined" the "party plans" (party of two?)?
Unbelievable.

Am I reading this right? And then after eating you went somewhere
where they offer "birthday celebrations"? What kind of celebration?
Something more than 20 seconds of servers clapping and singing, and
then running off to serve food to other customers?

There is no way in the world TGIF's will be refunding your money over
such a non-issue.