Babies Need to Eat Too, Denny's!

I have mixed feelings about this one. On the one hand it is completely
natural and one of the best ways to feed a child. However on the other
hand there are too many psychos and perverts out there. If I was in
that situation I probably wouldn't do it just because you never know
what the other person may do. There are a lot of sickos out there.

Also urination and defecation is completely natural too. Would you be
OK with people urinating and defecating in public, on the street, on
your front lawn, in a library, while you are eating near by? I know
its not the same but when you make the argument that it is "completely
natural" just remember what can of worms you might open by using
statements that can just as easily be applied to something else that
is less desirable.

Apparently someone from Denny's apologized, sort of, yesterday during
the protest outside this restaurant.

From Mountain Xpress - which I assume is a newspaper of some sort:

Rick Pate, regional director of operations for the Asheville Denny's
franchise, said Denny's "responsibility as a family restaurant is to
provide a nonoffensive environment for all of our valued guests.
Obviously, if any behavior or any practice that happened two weeks ago
while she was in the restaurant specifically us asking her to cover
up offended her in any way, we're sincerely sorry for that. We
apologize for that," Pate said.

"My goal today was today was to come out and speak to everyone that
was here to protest, with a desire to have them come in my restaurant
and have lunch with us today," Pate said, adding that breast-feeding
mothers are always welcome.

Another source said that the mother has asked that Denny's create a
policy specifically dealing withthis issue.

Although it is difficult to make any judgement or opinion on the
situation unless one was there as witness. Perhaps it was wrong of
Denny's to ask you to leave. It really boils down to if someone felt
as though there was indecent exposure.

I think it is a matter of an individual situation as some individuals
are very discreet and use tact when breast feeding in public yet I
have personally observed some very tactless examples whereby the
nursing mother was oblivious to the concept of tact.

Bottom line is I think Denny's needs to speak with their employee's at
that location and obtain both sides of the story as otherwise it is
just speculation and opinion without knowing the individual
circumstances.

This whole situation could have been avoided with the use of a Hooter
Hider. Wait, probably not, someone would still complain.

They said on the news this morning that Facebook is changing its
policy on not allowing pictures of breastfeeding. I googled and found
no reference to it, but we can hope, eh?

I don't get it. You'd think men would be in favor of as much public
nursing as possible. You know, so they can see boobies more.

Oh, wait. They don't like being reminded of the nonsexual purpose of
breasts. I forgot for a moment.

Nevermind, nursing moms! As soon as you're done covering up while you
breast feed, just leave your shirt off and walk around the place--the
men will be far more okay with THAT than they are with catching a
little glimpse of your breast with an infant attached to it.

I breastfeed my daughter as often as possible. When I'm in public I
personally don't feel comfortable doing it in public. I feel far more
comfortable for both of us when we do it somewhere more discreet.
I can see things from Denny's point of view though. Regardless of our
personal choices to feed our child (my sil has to bottle feed because
of a prior medical problem) it still makes people uncomfortable. I
know as many women with kids who are creeped out as men and as a
family establishment, im sure there were kids there, this could
potentially lead to questions and uncomfortableness from the parents.
You can't chastize someone because they dont agree with your point of
view, and vice versa.

Let me put a new spin on this whole issue:

While I am a "lactivist" and very vocal about a woman's right to
breastfeed, I also favor discretion. While breastfeeding, I forego
tops that pull down in favor of ones I can pull up and will loosely
sit over my breast down to my baby's head. I don't expose both
breasts. I don't call attention to myself.

Now, the question is, why do some women do this? Is it because they
are "attention whores"? Maybe some of them are. But most of these
women are just extreme lactivists, trying to fight for a cause. They
aren't trying to draw attention to THEMSELVES, they are drawing
attention to breastfeeding as the normal way of feeding a baby.

Thing is, they wouldn't HAVE to fight for a cause if there weren't so
many people who have issues with breastfeeding. I know a lot of you
say: "Oh, I'm all for breastfeeding if the mother covers up with her
shirt/covers up with a blanket/goes into the bathroom or her car/does
it before she leaves the house/never leaves the house..." But there is
a wide range of tollerance in there, and some of it is just plain old
intollerance.

See what I'm getting at? If every one of you haters would just shut up
and accept breastfeeding for the normal way of feeding your child that
it is, no one would have to fight for their cause. Anyone who has a
problem with breastfeeding is someone at fault for the problem in
question.

This whole debate is amazing to me. I understand that it may make
people uncomfortable, but the repeated answers completely disregarding
that the law is on her side are incredible. It is my understanding
that these laws were created specifically so that the mothers could
nurse without fear of any sort of reprisal. In the responses on this
site, it appears that the vast majority of people could not care less
that her rights may have been violated. And no, you people do not
have a right to "not have to see it".

Further down in the responses, I posted the law in NC - she can nurse
in any area, public or private, where she is otherwise authorized to
be.

If I cant show my breasts in public, why should I be able to show a
child sucking on my breasts in public?

I have a right not to see that type of thing. You should go to a
private place. Don't let your desire to breastfeed in public ruin my
lunch.

Of course babies need to eat...but is a restaurant that is open to the
public the only place said baby can eat? Can the child not be fed at
home, or can milk not be pumped and put into a bottle prior to leaving
for the restaurant.

Breastfeeding is a natural bodily function for some women, yes, but
most people are pretty squicked out when someone performs certain
bodily functions in public, like burping, urinating or defecating. Not
to mention breastfeeding could potentially be a health hazard (do
remember that diseases including STDs can be transmitted via breast
milk).

Denny's is a family restaurant, and the manager probably doesn't want
to hear complaints from other parents who can't figure out how to
explain to their own children why there is a baby sucking on a lady's
breasts, or why the lady with the baby is special enough to be
partially naked and no one else can be.

Honestly, I'm sure Denny's won't go under because they have lost one
mother's patronage.

I was a mother who breastfed my child. I did not do it in public EVER.
I never wanted everyone to see me exposed, nor do I want to see anyone
else - especially in a restaurant! You are totally out of line here!

Its been my belief that women that openly breast feed in public view,
without covering under a blanket of some sort, are partially doing it
for the attention it gets them.


Good Day

is this something that ACTUALLY happened to you or just heresay that
someone TOLD you they don't permit breastfeeding? The reason I ask is
this. A lot of times people read something and become outraged when
they don't take the time to find out the WHOLE story.

All the media I have seen on this particular issue says that the
mother was asked to cover herself and she refused. This isn't an
instance where the mother was impeded, it was an instance where HER
actions upset enough patrons that complained or left the restaurant
that the manager had to intervene. The fact that the mother was so
"outraged" that she decided to go to the media and blog about it
everywhere she could on the Internet says to me that she was more
interested in causing a commotion and less interested in actually
nursing her child.

Do mother's have the right to breastfeed their children anywhere they
want - absolutely. Do they have the right to turn it into a peep show
being completely indiscreet with a boob hanging out for all to see?
No.

While I do believe that mother's should be able to breastfeed without
harrassment, I do not believe they have the right to be indecent or
expose themselves. Just for the record, I breastfed BOTH my sons both
in private and in public places like restaurants and was NEVER given
an issue. Maybe that has to do with the fact that I didn't insist on
making a show of myself while I was doing it.

Would you say a nudist's rights were violated because they wanted to
be in the buff in public? No! Because there are rules in place to
make things fair for EVERYONE and not just the rights of a few.

They DON'T owe anyone an apology - least of all this mom and they
DON'T owe anyone milkshakes, but I must admit that is hilarious!

Maybe they are prohibiting outside food and beverage? ;)

I think that under no circumstances should discreet breastfeeding be
prohibited in public. If one makes a show of it however, that is a
problem.

Here we go again. Perhaps if all the Nervous Nellies out there took
this anti-nursing-in-public fervor and applied it to young women
dressed as if they're hookers and young men who can't seem to
understand that the waistline of their pants belongs (gasp!) aroaund
their WAIST, they'd forget that there's a mom in the corner trying to
breastfeed her infant so she can get on with her day.

I breastfed my twins until they were 14 mo old. Obviously they were
eating more than my milk, and we supplemented with formula from the
get go. DUring that 14 mo I never fed them in public - with 2 it was
simply too awkward and I didn't feel comfortable.

That being said, I completely feel this woman was within her rights.
In NC she is legally protected to breastfeed in any place:

SUMMARY OF ENACTED BREASTFEEDING LEGISLATION
NORTH CAROLINA
North Carolina, in 1993, exempted breastfeeding from the criminal
statutes, and at the same time, clarified that women have the right to
breastfeed in public, even if there is exposure of the breast.

N.C. Gen. Stat. sec. 14-190.9
1993 N.C. ALS 301; 1993 N.C. Sess. Laws 301; 1993 N.C. Ch. 301; 1993
N.C. HB 1143

" 14-190.9. Indecent exposure.
(B) Notwithstanding any other provision of law, a woman may breast
feed in any public or private location where she is otherwise
authorized to be, irrespective of whether the nipple of the mother's
breast is uncovered during or incidental to the breast feeding.

IMO the company is on shaky ground when they make decisions in
violation of anothers rights. Managers need to be educated better - I
think very few know that in many states this is a protected behavior.

Leave Denny's alone. They feed 2.5 million people Grand Slams last
week. :-p

It seems that this child was a year old. Kids that age also eat solid
food. They can also learn to wait to nurse.

This wasn't a 2-month old who truly had no other option for nutrition.


And before anyone jumps on me, I nursed three kids for at least 15
months each.

Nothing causes a letter reader to discount almost everything within
the letter than over-the-top, fanatical verbiage and extremist
allegations that expose the writer for the zealot she is.

Had this letter been written without the insults and blustering, the
otherwise valid points the writer wanted to make MIGHT have been taken
seriously. All you managed to do, Jacquie H, is to make yourself look
like an irrational militant who need not be taken seriously.

Well written, thoughtful, factual, calm and polite letters get
results. Hysterical, angry ones like this only get thrown in the
garbage.

I agree a woman has the right to breastfeed in public IF she covers
herself and/or baby properly. Around 2 years ago, myself, my husband
and several friends went to Benihana for dinner. about 2 minutes after
the chef had left, I'm sitting there eating my dinner when all of a
sudden my husband says something about breasts. I forget what my
response was but then he says "No, I'm talking about the view". So I
look up and directly across from me, is a woman sitting at a table
with her shirt pulled up and her 2 year old attached to a boob. She
did not attempt to coverself, she just pulled her entire shirt up (she
was bra-less) and let it ALL hang out. Again, she has a right to
breastfeed in public but what about the rights of the public? I have a
right to eat dinner in a restaurant without being subjected to
someone's bare breasts right? I mean, it was very awkward having this
woman sit across from me with her chest exposed. Not only did I not
want to see them but I felt like if I looked up, she might think I was
staring at her and get the wrong idea. I wasn't grossed out or
anything but I really have no interest in looking at another woman's
breasts!

Really? Half the population is seeking the "international
breastfeeding sign"? That's a lot of babies, and for that matter
mothers.

Does Denny's claim the Grand Slam is "proper nutrition for all"? I
can't believe they would make such a bold claim.

Sorry but the majority of nursing mothers do not just whip their
breast out and start feeding their baby and then blatantly start a
protest because they were asked to please cover up.
Most use common sense when out in public and cover both the baby and
the breast with a light blanket for reasons of privacy.

I nursed my son and NEVER did I intentionally expose my breast when we
were out in public...to me it had nothing to do with it being a
natural thing to do, but it did have everything to do with not only
being a private moment between my child and I but a way to make sure
he was calm during nursing.

It'd be like camping under the table when you're a kid. There could be
a market for this.

And no one said smother the kid, just casually drape a blanket around
the breast, not air-seal it.

My son never went for the blanket thing, and it ends up calling more
attention to the fact that someone is breastfeeding if the baby is
pulling at the blanket and having a fit.
The mom's shirt covers up most of the breast, and the baby's face
covers the rest.

I have to say, if the location is "grimy" I wouldn't go back anyway.

I did a little searching, and it looks like the woman in question was
asked to cover up while breastfeeding. The resturant management asked
her to cover up or move to a more private location, becauese they were
getting complaints from other diners. She choose to make it into a
cause, and is planning a protest.

To me, Denny's offered a reasonable solution, that would have allowed
her to feed her child, she chose not to take it.
http://www.wnct.com/nct/news/local/article/dennys_protest_planned/3155
6/

MOst women I have been acquainted with could nurse a baby and you
wouldn't even know it. I wonder if this woman was being discreet or
was it all hanging out?
The part of this letter that makes me laugh is that apparently, the OP
will visit their grimy location if they give her a free milkshake and
say they are sorry. Who would want to eat there if it was dirty? Much
less with their baby?

I just have to ask this. Why couldn't you breastfeed your baby before
you went to Denny's?