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Even suicide doesn't slow your regulars' attacks on people.
Posted Sat March 27, 2010 12:03 pm, by John S. written to My3cents.com, Inc.
Write a Letter to this Company
Something needs to be done about the My3cents.com site. I know there really aren't any agencies that can do anything, and I know there really aren't any black-and-white laws, and I know that no one is forced to go to that site - yes, I know all this. But something needs to be done anyway.
Why? Because people who go to that site have absolutely no idea whatsoever what they are getting ready to have happen to them out there.
The site presents itself as a place where people can express their opinions about companies, stores, products, etc. A lot like PlanetFeedback.
The problem is with the regular members out there. As soon as they see someone new has posted an opinion about anything, they pounce. They attack. Relentlessly. Over and over and over again.
They attack your intelligence. They attack your spelling. They attack your responses. They blame you for what happened to cause you to complain. They challenge why you even bothered to make the complaint. The pound and pound and pound you. They just sit back and wait until someone new comes along, and then they attack.
It gets so bad out there - on Feb. 13, 2010, a person posted a typical complaint about a typical situation, nothing memorable. But the My3cents.com people smelled her, and they mercilelessly surrounded and verbally beat her black and blue, with dozens and dozens and dozens of figurative punches to the face and kicks to the ribs - until this person gave up and wrote that she had just swallowed enough pills to kill herself.
Did the people on My3cents.com care? No way! At first they were oblivious to the person's claim that she was commnitting suicide - they actually kept beating her up (this was day two of the assault, by the way).
Someone eventually pointed out that there was no longer a reason to keep up the assault, and they started screaming how her death wasn't their fault! The whole conversation changed from "This person and her opinions are so stupid" to "I didn't say anything mean or bad to her. You can't blame her death on me."
Whether she killed herself or not is not the point; all we know is that she said she was going to. The point is that she had no idea what she was getting herself into when she went to that site to express her opinions. She had no idea there would be hours after hours and day and day of attacks on everything about her.
All she wanted to do was express herself.
And the regulars out there on My3cents.com? Nothing ever happens to them. No matter how vicious they get, the site's Administrators just move their nasty comments to a section called "Other" and let those people continue doing what they do.
The best way to describe it: It's like the a dark and smelly basement where they hold dog fights. New people are the bait dogs, regulars are the attack dogs, and the Administrators make sure to keep the attack dogs hungry enough and ready enough to keep everything interesting.
I know some people complain from time to time about PlanetFeedback, but let me tell you - this site gets results without the maniacal tantrums that feed a group of the lowest common denominators on the World Wide Web. The difference is black and white, and maybe some day there will be laws in place to protect the innocent from such sites.
Maybe we need a rating system, like the movies and albums have, so we know what we're getting into when we approach any site.
My3cents.com needs to protect your new members. They are only there to express their opinions. Your regular members are only there to amuse themselves in how they can one-up each other with their attacks. You know who they are. If you can't deal with them, new people shouldn't be essentially tricked into feeding your site for your regulars' bloodlust.
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| PlanetFeedback Comments are subject to strict terms and conditions. We reserve the right to deny site membership privileges to any individuals acting inappropriately. |
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by jeffreysmile Posted Thu July 22, 2010 @ 2:10 PM
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I forgot to add, that even when you try to retaliate against their rude ignorant and demeaning comments, they will just delete what you say, so they will always get the last word. Ive learned that you can't win on that site, the trolls will always have the power to say what they want, and delete what you want to say.
I ended up just deleting the whole post, and deleting my account. I will NEVER visit that rediculous site again and be sure to NEVER let people know about it.
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by jeffreysmile Posted Thu July 22, 2010 @ 2:04 PM
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This is, by far, the PERFECT review about my3cents.com. I recently wrote a review sharing my frustrations about REBATES. yes REBATES. nobody likes how long it takes to recieve a rebate. Am I wrong? anyway, I wrote a little nformative review about my frustrations with a few rebates I have been waiting on, which I possibly may write about on THIS site instead.
Ive read a few complaints on my3cents.com before, and seen how certain members or an I call them "trolls" troll around the site looking for people to bully up on. BEJ, SKYE...no matter what anyone on their site puts, they will find something to blame on the poster. No matter WHAT. These internet bullies must have a very very dull life if this is what they do with their time. They must be frustrated customer serice reps who try to vent their work frustrations anonymously on the public.
I just want to give KUDOS to the poster of this article. You are DEAD ON about that site.
Some people just seriously need to GET A LIFE!
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by numba1complainer Posted Tue July 13, 2010 @ 5:56 AM
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I mean... Its just the internet who cares?
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by DB25 Posted Mon June 14, 2010 @ 8:14 PM
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If you don't like the posts on a particular site, then don't go to that site or read the comments people post about what you say. It's that simple. This girl that supposedly took all these pills was a fool to keep coming back for 2 days to read what people wrote about her posts. Kinda rediculous to threaten to kill yourself over a stupid website, quite frankly.
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by April S. Posted Sat May 8, 2010 @ 2:36 PM
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Planetfeedback used to be the EXACT same way. It is marginally better nowadays, not sure why. But yes, there was basically no good complaint EVER written in the minds of the "regulars". Anytime an order was wrong the response was "You should have checked" "You shouldn't go there" etc. And then when none of those responses worked it was "you should have talked to a manager instead of posting here". Which obviously renders planetfeedback quite useless. And when all else fails, attack ANY spelling/typo error.
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by Underdog Posted Tue April 27, 2010 @ 2:24 PM
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I've been pounced on for everything under the sun here and when you have a legitamite complaint,it's very frustrating.
We have a bunch of them in my town hat solicit the local paper's forum from the library and the radio staion addresses how vicious they are(I do a display there for my jewelry) they have no jobs,live on welfare and consider attacking what they deem as their opposites any way they can.
The human heart is infinitely wicked and those that do not believe there truly is a God are accountable to no one.Sadly,many of them are raising kids or let me say "have kids and mange to keep them alive without teahcing them right from wrong" and those kids will grow up to act just like them.:Lazy,filthy-mouthed and disrespectful.They end up dead or in prison.
There are "givers" and there are "takers" and they know who they are.
They treat people with what's inside thier hearts and I dare say they wouldn't be so tough if this was not an annonymous site.Few are that tough face to face.
Out of the abundance of the heart,the mouth speaks and many think offending and attacking others is fun.
I've come to realize that everything people give out will come back to them eventually and just because they don't belive there is a God and a day of answering,does not make it not so.
As I teach my kids;God sees all and we will be held responsible.Do not let them change who you are.
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by Cambion Posted Fri April 23, 2010 @ 10:54 PM
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Ehh, I doubt the person in question actually committed suicide. Some people say that online for attention, even the bad kind. On the other hand, many websites are full of people who prey on the vulnerable. They're called bullies. I was a former member of a website where, if you weren't in the honchos' little clique, they tore you apart over absolutely anything that you dared say.
Unfortunately, cyber harassment isn't taken too seriously, but it may be soon in light of the girl who was bullied so badly on Facebook that she committed suicide. However, it's also up to those being picked on to get up and leave, as opposed to taking the abuse. Walking away without saying anything will drive these people crazy more than being dignified with a response.
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by Chris P. Posted Mon April 12, 2010 @ 5:38 PM
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I'm a member at M3C but get on there about as often as I get on PFB. I remember the letter referred to here. I read it, along with all the responses, and felt it was a fake from the get go. Each time the person who wrote the letter got back on, her story changed. I didn't even bother to post anything because I didn't believe a word of what the letter writer said.
At the beginning of this thread, someone made reference to some of the 'regulars' on M3C and it was spot on. You have the 'leaders' and all the ones who are picked as 'favorites.' I chuckled when I read their a bunch of lonely single females, or something to that effect. You mean The General and her group? Along with the Major?
The moderators there will glom on to someone they want to promote as a person who is, in their opinion, a respected 'contributor', build them up, and award stars to instill a feeling of importance. I read where one got 3 stasrs in about a 6 month period while others may have been around for more than 2 years with no stars.
There seems to be one moderator who has a head on his shoulders but if he keeps butting heads with another one, he'll probably get kicked off.
Mundo, I wondered why I haven't seen anything by you for a long time. Ken, you're another. But since I very seldom get on now, I thought we were just ships passing in the night.
PepperElf, you're getting snookered in. Be careful if you ever cross the powers that be. Your downfall will be even more abrupt than your rise up the ranks.
Some of the members change user names about as often as I change underwear, and in no time at all, because they're a favorite of the moderators, gets awarded strs for 'contributions.' I still haven't discovered if this person is a male or female, but I guess I really don't care. Being a suck-up has paid off.
John S., I think you fell for that putup job of a letter, hook, line, and sinker. I didn't. That's why I didn't even bother writing an answer on it.
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by Billy Bob Posted Sat April 10, 2010 @ 11:09 AM
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If you enjoy sucking up and yapping about the 3 main subjects at M3C the experience there will be pleasant.
1. Is it called soda or pop
2. What did the main site moderator's BF do in the
bathroom or his pants today?
3. Watch and comment on stupid youtubes.
REMEMBER the site is all about HER. Nothing else matters.
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hmmm
by PepperElf Sat April 10, 2010 @ 1:31 PM
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wow...they are nice to me...
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I don't think I've ever been on My3Cents before, but I've seen this same sort of issue with many, many sites.
On one hand, when you post anything like this you can't really expect everyone to agree with you or shower you with compliments. People have differing opinions, and they have different ways of expressing those opinions. I've seen people find someone else as being rude just because they didn't like the way someone expressed a certain idea. When dealing with people, you can't expect everything to be sunshine and flowers all of the time.
On the other hand, there are people who certainly take advantage of the anonymity of the internet. Hiding behind the guise of being brutally honest, they post things they'd probably get slugged for saying in face to face interactions. Their attacks are often personal and insulting.
Of course, judging when someone has crossed the line can be difficult. There is a certain amount of common sense to be used, but at the same time setting boundaries is really subjective and dependant on personal opinions. When someone really goes overboard, it's easy to see, but it's tough to determine exactly wehre that 'line' is located.
Personally, I go by the idea of the golden rule. I want people to treat me with respect, so I do my best to be respectful. If they aren't respectful, then at least I know I've done my part. Secondly, most of what I read from their post is what I infer to be their tone. I can't see their facial expression or hear their voice. Maybe I think they're trying to be rude when in fact they are just stating their point. Finally, if someone has crossed the line then I know I don't have to continue the argument. It's so easy to read something else, go to a different site, or turn off the computer and go outside for a change.
I suppose what I'm trying to say is that there is responsibility on both sides.
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I think the moderation at this site is a good and necessary thing. Yeah, it's not as fun/entertaining as it used to be, but should my juvenile entertainment be at the expense of someone else -- a total stranger who doesn't know how the site works, or that their demand/expectation isn't realistic?
This is a free site, as is the one being complained about in this letter, and no one is entitled to use the letter writers as their own personal whipping boys/girls.
I don't agree 100% with all the rules of moderation at this site, but you can't please everyone, and I agree with 95% of it.
THis letter is a good reminder of how really, really nasty many of us, myself included, used to be at this site.
Honestly, if we all could be more like Brendalala, there'd be no need for moderation.
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by Mundo Cani D. Posted Tue March 30, 2010 @ 7:48 AM
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I recommend you do as well, John S/My 2 Cents. Why deal with the Crazy MAN when you don't have to?
I like ice cream. There are two ice cream shoppes close enough for me to frequent. They both have fine ice cream.
But in the first one, there is a loony guy who is often there. He walks around, shoving people and acting like he's trying to steal your toppings.
The folks who own the shoppe do little about him. They post signs warning people not to act such a fool, but they still just smile and turn their heads every time he runs a muck. They like him, after all; he's been coming there for years now.
So I don't visit that shoppe. I go to the second one, where there isn't a Crazy MAN trying to steal my toppings.
And you know what? The ice cream tastes much better there.
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by R.E.D Posted Mon March 29, 2010 @ 10:05 PM
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I'd like to say, as a member of M3C for the last few years, that while the M3C community can at times be vicious. I have never seen an instance where it is any more so than PFB. The people at PFB can be equally nasty and mean to the posters.
You list one extreme case and then claim that it is the norm for the whole site. In fact I have seen many wonderful comments and helpful suggestions on the site. The only time I have ever seen the M3C community 'gang up' on someone is when the complaint is really not legit or if the person is lying through their teeth.
If your story is in fact true than I am truly sorry, on behalf of the M3C community, however I think you should not judge the whole site on one ugly incident.
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by My 2 Cents Posted Mon March 29, 2010 @ 8:16 PM
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But I can see how the conversation so easily turned that way. My intent, however, was to warn others about what to expect should they venture to My3cents.com, just as many reviews out here intend to warn people of questionable businesses and products.
My3cents.com fosters an evil, hateful - and counterproductive - environment where new members are attacked for having done nothing more than tell their story about something that did not go their way. New members should be cautious of what they are getting into before they subject themselves to such brutality.
Heck, My3cents.com regulars even go after each other with the same ferociousness, like a pack of frenzied hamsters crawling all over each other.
I'm thankful there are places like PlanetFeedback.com, where voicing your opinion matters for something more than encouraging online wildings.
It's just my opinion, but based on the number of people who have sworn off My3cents.com, who were attacked after their first and only posting and remarked in utter shock at their treatment, and even of some of the "regulars" who ran across this review, this opinion is not coming out of left field.
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Again
by Donno Tue March 30, 2010 @ 11:52 AM
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by hussyinterrupted Posted Mon March 29, 2010 @ 12:42 PM
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Anyone that threatens suicide over something some anonymous people post on the internet, are either too immature to be using the internet, or in all honesty would be threatening to committ suicide anyway.
If the person actually did committ suicide over anonymous posts online, the person had serious mental issues and in all likeliness would have attempted it anyway.
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And some have called the PFB regulars harsh!
As to these laws you call for to "protect the innocent," there are all kinds of laws out there already that are supposed to protect people from bad things; drugs, guns, violence, etc. Last time I checked, it's not really stopping these bad things from happening. And the truth of it is, the more of these "tools" are put in place, the more we surrender the ability to think and behave as rational adults. Why stop to think? If it's so bad, someone will get a law passed to outlaw it, right?
The problem with this logic is that it only makes the lawyers happy (sorry, LadyMac!) because you can't legislate common sense.
Just as these so-called villians should have had the sense to back off, so to, should this young woman had the sense to walk away from the site when the attention turned hostile. To my understanding, no one was holding a gun to her head and forcing her to be there. No one tricked this person into anything. If after the first comment she was unhappy with the response she was getting, she didn't need to come back.
But I do tend to lean towards what others brought up about if this woman would post something indicating that she was taking her own life on a very public website, there was far more in turmoil for her than a couple of thoughtless commenters.
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by NathanG Posted Mon March 29, 2010 @ 8:03 AM
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Does anyone know for a fact this person even committed suicide?
Just because a person stops posting doesnt mean anything happened other than they got fed up with people.
They can threaten it, then just stop posting and read comments just to screw with people.
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by Kalphoenix Posted Sun March 28, 2010 @ 2:32 PM
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I'm only commenting because I recall hearing something similar discussed somewhere else recently regarding bullying and cyber-bullying.
The internet boils down to personal responsibility. This isn't a public school you are forced by law to attend. It isn't your home (even if you access it from there) and it isn't a streetcorner you have to walk past every day and be heckled. You have the option to turn off the power or not go to the places that enrage/upset you. There are many places on the internet that are akin to walking into gang territory. It's pretty easy to tell ahead of time where they are if you do your research and LOOK BEFORE YOU POST.
And on the other side of the table, as the laws governing behavior on the internet shift, don't be indignant or surprised when you are HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR YOUR WORDS. You cannot "accidentally" blurt out something on the internet. Do not type and/or post something because you can be held responsible for it later, or something that you would be ashamed to see posted next to your actual name in real life. Do not get upset when you find out that you aren't QUITE as anonymous as you thought you were. Don't get upset when someone on a legal end thinks your "jokes" aren't that funny.
The internet largely consists of private business that have a right to run them however they personally see fit. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with giving them your opinion (the same as you might for a restaurant or a store regarding it's policies), however it is unreasonable to demand the site conforms to your personal opinions/beliefs. If something is bad enough, it will fester in it's own filth and die. Just leave it to do so and don't feed the internet trolls because if they know they can get a rise out of you, they will and you will just prolong the situation. Do not stress about things you can easily walk away from and realistically have no impact on either the world, your life and aren't worth your time. Shut the door and fuggitabouddit.
I can personally think of posts, posters and even subject matter on the internet I avoid like the plague, because I know the stupid will make me crazy.
I am inclined to quote something I once heard regarding the internet: "Thou shall not be too annoying, and thou shall not be too easily annoyed." If this simple rule is not being followed by your fellow posters, you have the option of not being annoyed by leaving the situation.
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Exactly
by Donno Sun March 28, 2010 @ 4:00 PM
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good grief
by just m. Sun March 28, 2010 @ 7:07 PM
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This used to happen all the time on PFB. Its because My3cents.com probably has no monitor to oversee this.
People will criticize but there is also constructive criticism. But even that need not be layered with insults.
Just ignore these idiots and keep on the site if you like it.
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by Donno Posted Sun March 28, 2010 @ 1:03 PM
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The replies to posts that spew forth over there remind me of playground conversation in second or third third grade. It is really pretty sickening, but if you know it is there you should look past it. It is like there are 30 people lurking at any time, and they post catty comments and references to other comments they have made, and it goes on and on and on. It is like a gab fest where the person with the most posts gets a piece of candy or something. To me it is static or white noise.
If people are going to post at my3cents, PFB or anywhere else, why not LOOK at other letters AND responses FIRST, so you know what to expect? That is what I did at PFB in the beginning, during a period the current admin refers to as The Wild West. I expected a raft of grief and I got (and ignored) it.
The best way to get protection on the internet is to protect yourself. This alleged suicide victim just needed to look around, or STOP looking around after they didn't like what they saw.
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by Mundo Cani D. Posted Sun March 28, 2010 @ 1:03 PM
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M3C is the place where the members spent the better part of a day debating whether a cheeseburger without cheese is still a cheeseburger or not. Sometimes the insanity is priceless (and harmless)!
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by Mundo Cani D. Posted Sun March 28, 2010 @ 12:57 PM
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I was a member of M3C. There were times when I was quite active on it. I can say, with complete confidence, that I have never been treated so outrageously anywhere else than on that site. I have never been so offended and I have never been so attacked.
The very first day I was there, I received messages from members warning me to be wary of cliques. People I had never seen before or had any kind of interaction with would just - out of the blue - comment on how stupid something I said was and how I must have been a moron. It made no sense to me at all.
One person, whose screen name begins with "Zz" (I cannot remember the rest), is so antagonistic that the overwhelming majority of his comments are placed in the "Other" section. I mean, what is the point of him even being there to comment on anything, if almost all of his comments are deemed "off topic"?
But the site Admins and Mods all love him. They giggle and go "tee hee" every time he says something outrageous and offensive, then add "Oh, that's just how he is."
Maybe this is the gist of what the OP is talking about. Why would someone like Zz be allowed to remain on that site, considering he is not offering anything to the site but acrimony?
The fact that the site does allow him to remain unfettered, says a lot about the site itself.
I don't think there is anything that can be done, nor that anything need to be done. Forget "laws" and such. We have enough government intrusion in our lives.
The best thing anyone can do, if they feel so inclined, is to just turn their backs on M3C and let it fester in its own septic pool of hatred. When the site disappears, and the owners no longer make any money from it, maybe it will be reborn with a little respect for others.
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by NathanG Posted Sat March 27, 2010 @ 8:18 PM
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I dont think just a site can make someone commit suicide. That person obviously needed help long before m3c came along.
The internet is a wide open world, full of the happy, angry, depressed, lonely, and insane. Cant handle it open and book and read outside.
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True
by NathanG Sun March 28, 2010 @ 10:15 AM
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by Billy Bob Posted Sat March 27, 2010 @ 5:37 PM
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I will agree some members have a tendency to rib posters pretty hard on M3C. The majority of the comments get kicked to the "other" section now but the best way around that is to pal up to the lonely single women that moderate the site. I don't condone what takes place to new posters on the site but I know that myself and a few others get away with more than we should because we know how to stroke the ego of mainly just one person in particular. I would suggest staying away from M3C unless you are thick skinned.
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by KenPC Posted Sat March 27, 2010 @ 5:35 PM
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(Sorry, my KB batteries died)
Nonetheless, members stepped forward and alerted the proper people to act on it.
If you don't like the people who post there, don't go there, but you are wrong to paint the site with such a broad brush. The idea is that everyone can have their own 3 cents, not just sit and listen to yours.
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however...
by PepperElf Sun March 28, 2010 @ 12:43 AM
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gang?
by just m. Sun March 28, 2010 @ 10:58 AM
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by KenPC Posted Sat March 27, 2010 @ 5:32 PM
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I am a former M3C member who left out of frustration with a small number of members, one of whom is an admin. That being said, overall the members there are a warm and caring group, many of whom I count as friends.
The post referred to here was a nonsensical rant. When the inconsistencies were pointed out, the OP got more and more extreme in her claims.
IMO it was never more than an attempt to gain sympathy and attention, but even if the story she relayed were true, she would have been unreasonable in her argument. In one final snit she told everyone she hated them (in private emails) and announced she was going to kill herself. There was no more credibility to this, than there was to ger original nonsensical claims. Nonetheless, members stepped
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by PepperElf Posted Sat March 27, 2010 @ 5:11 PM
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in reality there isn't much you *can* do against someone online.
If you disagree with someone's attitude you can - both there and here actually - contact a moderator. Actually at M3C you don't even have to directly contact the admin, you can "vote" on someone's reply.
That being said, there's no laws against someone being rude or against someone disagreeing with an OP.
Others have mentioned the new TOS for m3c. The thread you are referring to was written - and subsequently locked - before this new ruleset was created.
now personally i'm of mixed feelings about suicide threats, especially ones made online. my own instinct is to generally associate it with an attention attempt, or an attempt to make others feel bad. however at the same time... i'd hate to see anyone *prove* that they are serious, which is why i never say that to them.
after all i've personally seen both - i've seen people who have made comments for attention, and i've also seen the aftermath of people who did in fact end their own lives.
it is indeed a delicate situation.
that being said, i don't see why an entire website should be condemned. there are many of us there who will disagree or agree with a letter-writer based entirely on what the complaint was over.
although there's always going to be someone who rubs you the wrong way, there are many of us who are neither polite nor rude, but rather just state why we may disagree with a complaint.
the negative side of that is that... at times there are those who only want to hear replies from people who support their complaint. in cases such as that, any reply from a disagreeing point of view is taken as an attack, even if no attack is actually made.
but again, online, as in regular life, the best one can do is try to ignore those who infuriate you. usually that works pretty well.
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by Mythreecents F. Posted Sat March 27, 2010 @ 2:19 PM
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You forgot 'the rest of the story'. As it continues, the 'regular members' reported the mentioned pill swallowing sucide threat to the Admin of M3C. Admin then contacted that member's local authorities, in which they were going to investigate the sucide threat to make sure that member was ok.
And there you have, 'the rest of the story'...
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by just m. Posted Sat March 27, 2010 @ 1:27 PM
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Did you read the post in the community section where one of the regulars you are accusing of callous behavior asked the site admin to check up on the suicide claim? The local authorities were contacted.
AT THE REQUEST OF A REGULAR
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I disagree
by just m. Sat March 27, 2010 @ 3:00 PM
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LOL!!!
by just m. Sat March 27, 2010 @ 3:18 PM
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