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My Innocent daughter arrested for shoplifting at Wal-Mart

Posted Sun December 12, 2010 12:00 pm, by Olivia B. written to Wal-Mart

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On November 19th my daughter and three other friends went to Wal-mart. Three of her friends were stealing while my daughter was on the lookout for employees to warn them. All four girls were arrested for shoplifting. When my daughter (14) told the security guard that she did not steal anything he told her she was just as guilty because she was an accessory to the crime she was on lookout. I One of my daughter's friends mother wrote a letter about this earlier. Anyways all four girls were in the security office and all four were charged. I am wondering why my daughter is charged with shoplifting when she did not steal anything. The lady who wrote this other letter (on November 20th) her daughter is the one who came up with the idea to shoplift in the first place. She is the one who set everything up including telling my daughter to be on the lookout. That child has been suspended from school five times at least. That child is a trouble maker. It was that child's idea not my daughters. My daughter was just on "lookout" so why is my daughter being proscuted? Also even though my daughter was on lookout the person arresting my daughter and her friends did not have the uniform on so he was not even working when he arrested my daughter which means he did not even get paid for the arrest. So in other word the arrest of these four girls are illegal.

I think they should drop the charges against my daughter since none of this was her fault. They also owe her an apology.


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by Merk Posted Tue April 3, 2012 @ 1:11 PM

Your daughter was arrested because she was an accessory and he didn't
have a uniform on because it was probably a secret shopper, meaning
they are on with walmart security and go around and look out for that
kind of stuff. Even though your daughter did none of the stealing she
still was there with them and she was still responsible for her own
actions, you can think she is innocent but you don't know what goes on
in a childs head.

by MsSandy Posted Sat January 28, 2012 @ 10:24 PM

I apologize for your shame! weird thing happened to my so...He was not
the lookout, he was looking at movies while waiting for his brother to
get off work..one om younger children's friend stole a $15 movie, my
son did not see this transpire, but they did walk to the restaurant to
THE BOYS TO THE BACK ROOM. My son was doing me a favor by waiting for
his brother to get off! He had been in the store twice purchasing
items that I needed for dinner. He had nothing on him, nor did he
agree that he was the look out...the other boy confessed and stated
that my son had nothing to do with his choices....Is this fair? what
can we do?

by really? Posted Tue September 13, 2011 @ 3:20 AM

Charles Manson didn't actually "kill" anyone either but he got life
without parole and the ones who did are eligible for parole. Murder
and shoplifting are far apart in nature but both are crimes and both
find you guilty whether you are directly involved or there at the
scene letting it happen. The only way your daughter would be innocent
is if she refused to be a part of it and left.


by Dedra Posted Wed July 20, 2011 @ 12:21 AM

Take off your rose colored glasses lady...your daughter was a
"lookout" helping them to STEAL!!!!!!!! If the girl is so terrible,
why did you allow her to be with her? It's called accesary to a
crime...and what YOUR daughter did was illegal. This is a case of "MY

by PD Posted Mon April 18, 2011 @ 6:13 PM

Shame on you. If I had done something like that my Mom would have had
me writing personal apology letters to the entire Walmart corporate
structure, once I could walk again.

Think about the lessons you are teaching your daughter by excusing
this kind of criminal behavior. A lookout is part of a team, a team
of thieves, all of whom are equally guilty. of course she was charged


by April S. Posted Sat April 16, 2011 @ 3:59 PM

Wow, really? People like you exist??

#1) Your child should not be hanging out with kids like that.

#2) Accessory to a crime is a crime.

#3) Walmart did not arrest your child, the police did.

#4) No, the arrest is not illegal. Where do you come up with stuff
like that?

#5) To actually defend your child in this situation instead of
punishing her and showing her what she did is wrong is truly shocking.

#6) Really hope you get your act together so you can be a better
mother and role model to your child.

by thinkingitthrough Posted Tue April 5, 2011 @ 11:33 AM

There is such a thing as ACTING IN CONCERT. Perhaps you should looks
this up and inform yourself before deciding that your daughter is
innocent. SHEESH!

by itsme Posted Mon April 4, 2011 @ 11:21 PM

If you keep defending your daughter like this and not practice some
tough love NOW, she will be in prison in no time!!! She was an
accessory! She may not have actually stolen anything, however, she
was a lookout, so she was just as guilty! Stop defending her! She
knew what they were doing! So, if she went with someone who was going
to rob a bank and all she did was drive the getaway car, would you say
she wasn't guilty of being a part of that too??

Stop enabling your daughter now, or she will be in prison and in much
bigger trouble before you know it!


by Mike S. Posted Sun April 3, 2011 @ 12:21 PM

I really, really, really, really, really, really hate to defend WM in
the face of some of the questionable things they have done, but I have

Face it, she was wrong and you are wrong. But I won't mention what
else you are since it seems so obvious.

Yes, being an acessory to a crime is a crime itself.

"Act in haste, repent in leisure"

by nanamo Posted Thu March 17, 2011 @ 1:20 PM

After reading all these messages, I really hope you are embarresed by
what you wrote. I did not read 1 that was in favor of you daughter,
step up and be a parent that cares what her child is doing.

by nanamo Posted Thu March 17, 2011 @ 1:05 PM

I was on jury duty there were 4 men involved, 3 of the men done the
actual shooting and 1 was standing at the door watching to see if
anyone was coming....he did not do any shooting......he got life just
like the other 3 should we have let him go free......................


by thundr101 Posted Sun March 13, 2011 @ 9:59 PM

Reading your letter actually makes my head hurt... I would really hate
to see what influence or values you are instilling in your daughter.
If my mother knew I was at WalMart with 3 of my buddies and I was the
one "looking out for employees to warn them"... she would beat the
living hell out of me and let them charge me with the crime, as I
would be just as guilty as the rest of them.

Not that violence is an answer, but my point is that you should be
more worried about what to do with your daughters new Juvenile Crime
record, rather than posting ignorant 'rants' on websites like these.

Try explaining to your daughter that she shouldn't do any and
everything her "friends" tell her to. Any common-sensed person would
have some inclination to think that being the "lookout" person might
actually be as guilty as the others.

Good luck with that.

by jay m. Posted Wed March 9, 2011 @ 6:10 PM

Sorry, she's guilty because she was with them and just as culpable to
the crime as if she lifted it herself. Thanks for sharing your
ignorance, and unwillingness to stand up, take yer medicine and
actually parent your child.

Oh, and have you disciplined your child for this? I'ma guess nooo, and
that's why each generation is acting like ... ugh, don't get me


by markmess Posted Mon March 7, 2011 @ 4:53 PM

I think YOU are showing your daughter the wrong way. SHE WAS a part of
the crime just because she didn't actually take something doesn't mean
she shouldn't be charged. What if she took something and they caught
her, then you would say well she didnt take it they caught her!...
Teach her to be responsible for her actions DONT make excuses for her.
You owe them an apology for thinking YOUR daughter is innocent. Be
serious, stop her NOW before she gets involved with worse things. When
she gets pregnant then what? She didn't do it cause without his sperm
she couldn't have?

by t n. Posted Sun March 6, 2011 @ 2:06 PM

Letting your friends steal and not saying anything makes her just as
guilty as them. If she doesn't get in trouble now she will be
stealing soon enough.

by Scott L. Posted Wed March 2, 2011 @ 7:21 PM

Look, the security guard was right. She assisted thieves. Like it or
not. She did. It was because of her, that her "friends" were able to
steal products. She was a look out. This makes her an accessory to to
the crime. Stealing.

Do you think that your daughter was helping out and had no plan to
keep some of the stolen goods for herself?

Your child helped steal things from Wal-Mart. Understand that. She was
part of a group who stole from Wal-Mart. Just because she is not the
one who stuffed the products down her pants... Does not mean she is
some how innocent. She stole! She helped those other girls and is
guilty as they are.

How about an extreme example. hit men... If you pay a person to kill
some one for you, you are still in trouble with the law for murder,
even though some one else committed the murder. Why? Because you
assisted in the murder of a person.

Same thing here. She assisted in the stealing of products from
Wal-mart and is there fore, also responsible.

Your daughter, hanging out with a bad crowd is not a good excuse...
How about this? If you think she is hanging out with the wrong crowd
do your job as a parent. Do everything you can to make sure she cannot
spend time with them.

Punish her for stealing and keep her in line. Discipline, mom....

She owes Wal-Mart an apology and you owe your daughter an apology...
Why? Because you are letting her get away with stealing.... That just
ain't cricket.


by David H. Posted Sun February 27, 2011 @ 6:12 AM

I haven't read all posts, just the original.

Olivia, your daughter participated in a crime. She's guilty. Doesn't
matter who's idea it was. She helped, she's guilty. And police
officers retain their full police powers at all times and in fact are
required by law to respond to any crime that crosses their path even
while off duty. The arrest is legal and your daughter is guilty. End
of story. And as her mother, she should be facing your wrath once she
gets home from jail.

No apologies.

by cissy Posted Sat February 12, 2011 @ 6:29 PM

She's guilty by association. That much is true. If you didn't want
your child to hang out with this thief, that's a different issue. My
advice, NEVER forbid a child to spend time with a person they enjoy.
Have the "enemy" close. Invite all of them to your home, spoil them
and listen! Remember keep the enemy closer! It worked for me. All the
best, but no apology. Protecting your daughter, as such, creates a
follower and she deserves to be a leader.All the best.


Simple but brilliant by sarahsmile Thu February 17, 2011 @ 10:34 AM

Hmmm. by Mike S. Sun April 3, 2011 @ 12:24 PM

An old adage.. by Mike S. Sun April 3, 2011 @ 12:24 PM
by Laura F. Posted Sat February 12, 2011 @ 10:03 AM

Your daughter is just as guilty as the rest of them. Your daughter
should have told them she wasn't going to be the lookout and should
have contacted a Wal-Mart employee right away to what her friends were
doing. She may have been labeled as a "rat", but at least she would
have been doing the right thing and not gotten arrested for stealing.
She was an accessory to the fact and deserves the punishment handed to
her just like the other girls.

Also, it doesnt matter if the cop had a uniform or not. There are
plenty of under cover cops in the stores who have street clothes on to
catch thiefs and shop lifters. That cop was not in the wrong. We have
them all the time at our Wal-Mart and I even witnessed one of them
arresting a girl for stealing. He wasn't in uniform.

So yes, it was her fault for getting herself into this mess. Stop
trying to cover for your daughter's actions. She isn't owed an


by sarahsmile Posted Fri February 4, 2011 @ 8:50 AM

Did you? Did she say she was sorry and promised to never ever do that

by texasgurl Posted Wed February 2, 2011 @ 8:58 AM

When I was in middle school I went shopping with my friend and her
older sister. The older sister had some friends meet us at the mall
and after a couple of stores my friend and I realized the older girls
were stealing. We were unsure as to what to do but before we could do
or say anything they got caught. We all got taken down to the mall
office and after a few minuets of questioning it was determined that
my friend and I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong
time. We were innocent. See how that differs from your daughter? We
had no idea what was going on until right before they were caught,
your daughter on the other hand not only knew but was helping them.
Also, a cop or security guard does not have to be in uniform and/or be
getting paid for an arrest to be legal. Sometimes cops will go in
places like IHOP and eat in uniform right after they get off work.
They aren't getting paid for that but they are still in uniform and
they can still make an arrest.

by Rasdower! Posted Thu January 27, 2011 @ 3:56 PM

Why do you allow your daughter to hang with someone who is in your
words a "troublemaker" who has been suspended from school five times?
She told your daughter to be the look out your daughter could have and
should have said no. No one owes your daughter an apology. If anything
she owes the store and it's employees an apology for helping to steal


by C A. Posted Thu January 27, 2011 @ 12:03 PM

Innocent? Being a look out makes you an accessory, which means you
are not innocent.

You should be spending your time finding out why your daughter is
engaged in a crime rather than blaming the store who arrested her.

If not, you'll need to get used to seeing her through glass. And I'm
sure that's not the future you want for her.

by BEA S. Posted Thu January 27, 2011 @ 11:08 AM

You daughter is just as guilty as the ones stealing. She should have
had enought of sense to say "No" and call you to come get her or walk
home. It also seem like you knew the type of "friends" she was hanging
around. And the person that arrested her don't owe he no aplology. She
hould go to WalMart and get on the loud speaker and confess her sin as
ask for an apology. As a parent we can't always protect and shelter
our kids when they do wrong. You need to accept what she did, punish
her for it and move on. In other words "get over it." No one forced
her to do what she did.

by fishbjc Posted Mon January 24, 2011 @ 8:37 PM

I worked in LP for Kohl's....we wore plain clothes so it's perfectly
legal for us to detain a thief. It's on video surveillance. We would
phone the police and let them come in and phone the parents. Kohl's
prosecutes almost 99% btw.

Here's another newsflash for you *Mom*...if an item has a clearance
tag...it can be processes for FULL PRICE.

You need to *bone up* on your parenting skills....beat the little
girls arse instead of upholding this thief. I'll bet this wasn't the
first time she *stole* either.


by TNangel2 Posted Sun January 23, 2011 @ 6:27 PM

I agree your daughter should have been arrested because what she did
was of equally poor character. I think she is only nominally less
guilty than the others. Sounds like they were all in it together. That
you cant see that explains why she cant either Prehaps if you put as
much effort in teaching her to say no as you are in pursueing this
action your time and influence would be much better spent.YUOR
error of your ways, REPENT SEEK JESUS AND get SAVED. Readthe book
"Power for Living". You can do better.

by Matt M. Posted Fri January 21, 2011 @ 7:55 PM

Seriously, I started laughing that the word "Innocent is letter.
You're daughter could only be considered innocent in this case if she
happened to be with the other girls and had no knowledge that they
were stealing. Instead, she said she was looking out. If your
daughter is as innocent as you claim, she would not have put herself
in that situation.

You should be punishing her, not complaining that Wal-Mart did
something wrong. Hopefully she learns from this and gets on the right
path. You screaming about her being innocent is only setting a bad
example. Please be sure to post if your daughter acts as a look out
to a crime like armed robbery or murder and tell us all about her
being innocent. I know that is extreme to say, but let's be honest,
most crime starts off petty and gets worse. I'm sure if you got
robbed, you wouldn't go to the trial of the person on lookout and say
"he's innocent, he was just looking out."


by Tom S. Posted Mon January 17, 2011 @ 10:08 AM

I seriously wonder why you are telling this to Wal-Mart rather than
the prosecutor as Wal-Mart is not going to drop any charges. If your
daughter truly believes that acting as a lookout for those stealing
from a store does not mean she was taking an active part in the crime,
then she needs to take that defense argument to the judge or jury.
She soon will learn a "life lesson" that may mean she has a criminal
record, but one she might think about the next time her friends (whom
she needs to drop) ask her to take part in such an act. Oh, and if
your daughter or her attorney tries to argue that the arrest was
"illegal" because the person making the arrest was not in a uniform,
you will have the opportunity to see a judge laugh before upholding
the arrest.


by Kathy R. Posted Fri January 14, 2011 @ 11:55 AM

Are you a parent that says "Not my daughter or son" well if and
probably are. Expect more trouble from your child. My next door
neighbor was just like that. her kids did stuff like that and didn't
doing anything to them. Now fifteen years later two are dead, all
been in prison for drugs and stealing.

Also your daughter wasn't very good as a lookout. They all got

Be a parent!! And except responsibility for raising them. No one has
a perfect child! Not even me!


"Also your daughter wasn't very good as a lookout. They all got caught." by RedheadwGlasses Wed January 19, 2011 @ 6:43 PM
by Cambion Posted Wed January 12, 2011 @ 9:59 PM

Well, she was an accessory to the crime, and since she willingly took
part in the crime without actually stealing something, she's just as
guilty for helping her friends take stuff. That's like saying someone
shouldn't be charged because they just helped to dig the hole the body
was buried in rather than actually killing the victim.

Okay, shoplifting is not quite that serious compared to murder, but
still. And no, the arrest was not illegal just because the officer or
guard in question wasn't wearing a uniform. That would be like saying
a lifeguard who's not carrying around a life saver could not
legitimately save someone from drowning. Take this opportunity to
explain things like peer pressure and criminal records to your
daughter. It's hard enough for anyone of any age or experience level
to ever get a job anymore, and having an arrest on her record for
stealing will not help. Do you think when she's old enough to work,
anyone will want to hire a thief?

Sorry, but the store does not owe your daughter an apology either. She
was helping people commit a crime and just because she didn't like
getting caught and just because she's your daughter does not mean that
the store or the arresting officers were in the wrong. Everyone thinks
their precious is innocent and everyone's a big meanie for picking on
them when, often times, that precious commits a real crime and they
are being justifiably punished.

by M G. Posted Sat January 8, 2011 @ 1:11 PM

Shame on you, Mom! Your daughter was just as involved as an accessory,
as the light-fingered girls, and you should be ashamed of yourself for
not using this event to emphasize to your child that you can't soar
with the eagles when you run with the turkeys!


by Sheldonrs Posted Wed January 5, 2011 @ 1:54 PM

Sort of poetic justice. She helps them to STEAL accessories and now
she IS one.


LOL! by MA Cunningham Fri January 14, 2011 @ 9:54 AM

by InsaneShadow Posted Wed January 5, 2011 @ 12:54 PM

The fact that you admit your daughter was the "lookout" says she's
involved. In the eyes of the law, anyone helping a thief is considered
an accessory to that thief's crimes. She's guilty by association, and
she should probably find some friends who don't do this kind of thing.

by sarahsmile Posted Fri December 31, 2010 @ 8:52 AM

what did your daughter say to you when you asked her why she was being
"the lookout" for her friends while they were stealing? Did you ask
her if she knew at 14 yrs old that stealing was wrong?


by PKitty Posted Thu December 30, 2010 @ 12:27 AM

Plain-clothes loss prevention officers are the norm in pretty much any
retail store - it's how they catch the shoplifters in the act in the
first place.

And your daughter is being prosecuted for being an accessory to the
crime. Being a 'lookout' is all the proof the court needs to prove
that she is NOT innocent. She knew full well what her friends were
doing was illegal and she aided them in their little attempted theft -
that is all the courts need to know. You don't have to actually
pocket anything to be guilty of aiding and abetting. It does not
matter whose idea it was to steal because you daughter was still a
part of the scheme simply by being a lookout in the first place.

The store, the loss prevention officer, etc., do not owe your daughter
any sort of apology. If anything, your daughter has hopefully learned
a valuable lesson from all this. It is obvious why she saw nothing
wrong with her actions - you are on here protesting that she is
innocent when it is quite clear that she is anything but.


Amen by Frankie1429 Tue January 4, 2011 @ 8:01 PM
by hussyinterrupted Posted Wed December 29, 2010 @ 12:54 PM

that you have become aware of the bad way your daughter is in while
the charges are still minor. Let this be a wake up call to you.
You're daughter needs guidance. Provide it to her before she strays
further off the path.

by billt Posted Sat December 25, 2010 @ 4:27 PM

Just another thought YOU can be held responsible for your childs
crimes in some jurisdictions: check this link



by KJCat Posted Tue December 21, 2010 @ 8:37 PM

Your daughter is guilty. She was aiding and abetting her friends in
committing a crime, and she deserves whatever punishment she receives.
Hopefully, this will serve as a valuable lesson for her (and you, as


by CrazyRedHead Posted Tue December 21, 2010 @ 5:57 AM

I agree with the poster that said that she is guilty by association.
Myself, the Judge, and the local police have had to explain this to my
son who has gotten in trouble due to running around with the wrong
bunch of kids. She is just as guilty as the others, even if she didn't
steal. Anything else that I would have to say would get this post


by numba1complainer Posted Mon December 20, 2010 @ 10:48 PM

Is this a complaint about walmart or are you defending your daughters
reputation on a complaint site?

They have security wear street clothing so thieves like your daughter
don't know when they are coming.

Your daughter is just as guilty and she should have known better not
to be the lookout.

Anyway why are these 14 year old girls roaming around walmart alone.
Thats to young.


by Mnemosyne Posted Mon December 20, 2010 @ 12:33 PM

There's an old adage, "you are known by the company you keep".

by Agilipuppy Posted Sat December 18, 2010 @ 1:43 AM

L.M.A.O! I thought I was having a bad day until I read your letter. I
will see your daughter, in my law office, frequently, if you continue
down this path. Save up your money Mommy, because you're screwed.


by cdrscotty Posted Fri December 17, 2010 @ 9:58 AM

You are most lucky your daughter was not also charged with conspiracy
to commit a crime. Since she was acting as a lookout, this implies
that she and her gang had planned in advance to commit this crime.
This is the very definition of conspiracy.

If I were this child's mother I would be grounding her until she was
18 and not ever allowing her to see these hoodlums with whom she is

Instead, you defend her criminal actions. If this is the way she is
being raises then she has a tough life ahead of her.


by James S. Posted Thu December 16, 2010 @ 3:22 PM

Your daughter is guilty by association. I suggest you consult with an
attorney, normally the initial consultation is free (at least in my
state it is).

by billt Posted Wed December 15, 2010 @ 6:58 PM

Maybe these "girls" could be put on the Sheriff Joe chaingang for a
month or two??


by doglover6 Posted Wed December 15, 2010 @ 12:09 AM

If your daughter was on the look out, aiding her friends while they
committed murder, would you still consider her innocent? She helped
with crime, so she was punished...she is not innocent.

And by the way, they're called secret shoppers. They dress in regular
clothes to better catch the criminals, it doesn't mean he wasn't

by tali Posted Tue December 14, 2010 @ 5:42 PM

When my sister and I were 9 and 10, we were caught shoplifting from a
well known grocery store in Florida. Our mother was called to pick us
up. When we got home we were majorly punished. First from mom, then
from dad. The outcome with the store was that we (my sister and I)
were never to come into that store again. And in 40 years I have never
been back in. I never stole again either. My parents were crushed.


when i was 6...... by Chadg Wed December 15, 2010 @ 3:42 PM

My sister by MA Cunningham Mon December 20, 2010 @ 10:01 AM

by brookeanne Posted Tue December 14, 2010 @ 3:13 PM

I can't really believe you would even write this. Every thing is WRONG


by DeeM Posted Tue December 14, 2010 @ 7:37 AM

Did it occur to you that maybe your daughter shouldn't be hanging
around with a person who you know has been suspended from school 5
times? You are the mother why did you allow this association to

It's time to start parenting your daughter, she desperately is in need
of some!

I weep for the future.

by Kalphoenix Posted Tue December 14, 2010 @ 5:02 AM

Let's say two girls corned OP's daughter somewhere, and one girl stood
lookout to make sure no one saw while the other girl took OP's
daughter around the corner to knock her teeth out. Does that make the
"lookout" less culpable? After all, she didn't actually beat up OP's

It's in the legal park if they are pressing charges, so I doubt they
will even respond to OP at this point, unless it's through their legal

I think it's unlikely they will drop the charges at this point. I
suggest OP gets some reliable legal advice on how to proceed from this
point. As per the law, OP's daughter IS just as guilty as the
shoplifting girls. It's called being an accessory to a crime.
Shoplifting is a crime.

My guess is that if this doesn't get plea-bargained down, the judge in
(juvenile, I assume) court isn't going to be any more sympathetic
towards this situation than anyone commenting here.

If this had happened to me as a child, I'd have been lucky not to
haven been marched down to Juvenile Hall by my folks, regardless of
"who's idea it was." In what world do we live in that this somehow
merits an apology?


by DeeM Posted Tue December 14, 2010 @ 1:09 AM

This is a good experience for your daighter's Bed. Made. Lie files.
You don't have to physically put an object into your coat pocket to be
guilty of stealing and the store is doing the right thing in pressing
charges against her.

Maybe this will encourage your daughter to find a better class of
friend and to realize she always has the ability to say NO.


by Cynical Erik Posted Mon December 13, 2010 @ 11:51 PM

I had a similar problem a couple years back when I was the getaway
driver on a big bank heist. I told them, hey, I didn't steal anything.
All I did was wait outside and then, when my friends were all done
stealing, I gave them a ride home. A very fast ride home. With lots of
jumps and spin-outs and gunfire. And if that's illegal, then you just
go ahead and put me away for life.

Which they did.


Erik..Long Time.. by Harleycat Tue December 14, 2010 @ 9:31 PM

Hello? ;-p by sarahsmile Wed December 15, 2010 @ 9:18 AM

LOL! by MA Cunningham Wed December 15, 2010 @ 11:24 AM

Glad to see you get internet access Erik. (n/t) by ST Wed December 15, 2010 @ 1:02 PM

I'm typing this... by Cynical Erik Mon December 20, 2010 @ 11:06 PM

by Mel2007 Posted Mon December 13, 2010 @ 4:35 PM

She was helping them steal, she will be charged with something, you
might get the shoplifting charge reduced to accessory to the crime or
something like that.

Kids do stupid things, it happens, have your daughter take her
punishment and hopefully she will have learned a lesson.


by MA Cunningham Posted Mon December 13, 2010 @ 4:01 PM

You say your daughter did nothing wrong because she's not the one that
actually stole. So does that mean it's alright to assist in a crime
like that?

Also, I'm curious why if you were aware of the other girl's
suspensions (FIVE TIMES???) why you allow your daughter to associate
with such people. Personally, that in and of itself would be a red
flag in my book.


A Red Flag? by Batman Thu December 16, 2010 @ 7:35 PM

by Richard S. Posted Mon December 13, 2010 @ 2:03 PM

Just like there are laws for being an accessory to murder or accessory
to robbery, your daughter is an acessory to a crime. Even you said she
was the "look out".

Wal-mart is correct in this matter.

by sarahsmile Posted Mon December 13, 2010 @ 1:42 PM

Please come back and tell us what actions YOU took with your daughter.
Did you have a long talk with her about actions having consequences -
good & bad?


Of course not by Zan Tue December 14, 2010 @ 8:55 AM

Personally, by MA Cunningham Wed December 15, 2010 @ 8:27 AM

Not the response...... by sarahsmile Wed December 15, 2010 @ 9:21 AM

GREAT point by Batman Thu December 16, 2010 @ 7:33 PM
by E C. Posted Mon December 13, 2010 @ 1:33 PM

I would like to add that since she is an accessory to the crime, most
states allow the prosecuting store to charge the shoplifters up to 10
times the amount of the items, plus any fines/fees. Since she was
arrested along with her friends, she will most likely have to pay for
a percentage of the items that were stolen (split between the four

Just as the others have said, you NEED to teach your daughter right
from wrong, not shift the blame to someone else because it's easier.
If you really want to make her responsible (and I hope you do see the
light with what others have said), make her get a job doing yard work
or other things to earn the money to pay back the fine and fees.


by RedheadwGlasses Posted Mon December 13, 2010 @ 1:25 PM

Hey, for the first time ever: Way to go, Walmart!


Giggle by Mel2007 Mon December 13, 2010 @ 4:37 PM

I Concur! by Jared C. Wed December 15, 2010 @ 10:41 AM

OMI by Mike S. Wed April 6, 2011 @ 11:53 AM
by Zan Posted Mon December 13, 2010 @ 1:22 PM

Where to begin? I suppose with the obvious. No, your daughter is NOT
innocent. Wal-Mart is correct, she was just as guilty as the three
girls that actually took the items off the store shelves.

If your daughter is old enough to go to Wal-Mart without a parent,
she's old enough to a) know that what she did is wrong (and yes,
illegal) and b) face the consequences for her actions.

Since the girl that you're trying to blame for everything is such a
known troublemaker, I suggest you don't allow your daughter to
associate with her.

No, the fact that the person (whether it was a security guard or a
police officer) who caught your daughter was not in uniform does not
make it illegal to stop shoplifters.

I'm assuming this is the first time your daughter has been caught
shoplifting. Since she's 14, she's going to face easier penalties than
if she was 18 or older. If you handle this well, you may be able to
teach her a valuable lesson and prevent her from doing such things
again. Trying to cover for her, shifting the blame and insisting she
did nothing wrong is not doing her any favors. It's only teaching her
that Mom is a pushover, and will try to clean up any future messes she

I hope Wal-Mart's actions will help to teach her the RIGHT lessons,
and she'll learn to be accountable for her own actions.


by RedheadwGlasses Posted Mon December 13, 2010 @ 12:22 PM

So you think it's OKAY for your daughter to serve as the lookout? And
are you so naive that you think she hasn't stolen in the past?

Parents like this are a huge problem: You don't let your kids take
responsibility for their mistakes, and then you don't take
responsibility for raising kids who do stupid things like steal.

You're not doing your daughter any favors with your attitude or by
writing this letter. Frankly, you should be ashamed of yourself for
not making your daughter own up to her BAD ACTIONS.


by Lisa H. Posted Mon December 13, 2010 @ 11:47 AM

Really!? Legalities aside(others have covered them well) your
daughter helped other people steal and the store owes her an apology!?
And it's the other kids fault? The best thing you can do right now
for your daughter is let her face the consequences of her choices, and
yes, they were her choices.

And have you ever heard of 'plain-clothes'?

by Jared C. Posted Mon December 13, 2010 @ 10:19 AM

It is obvious that you know very little about the law.

Your daughter is GUILTY, GUILTY, GUILTY.

She participated in the crime by being a look-out and that makes her
guilty of being an accessory to a crime, which in this case, was

Now your daughter will have to face up to the consequences of her
actions. She made a terrible choice joining in with these other girls
and will have to pay for it.

Your daughter is DEFINITELY NOT owed any sort of apology. If anything,
your daughter should APOLOGIZE to the store and the employees!

Charges should also NOT be dropped as she needs to be punished for
what she did.

Also, you are completely incorrect about the arresting individual.
He/she does NOT have to wear a uniform or anything else signifying
he/she is a cop, security guard or whatever. He/she made the arrest
completely LEGALLY.

If these other girls are trouble-makers, why haven't you ORDERED your
daughter to have NO CONTACT with them? As her parent, it is YOUR
responsibility to monitor her and keep her behavior under control.

by franese Posted Mon December 13, 2010 @ 10:16 AM

Not only do you want the charges dropped but you want them to
apologize to your daughter. How about you talk to your daughter about
the difference between right from wrong and nip this in the bud before
she does something worse? I know you can't watch your kids 24/7 but
it seems you don't even try to control the company she keeps.


by batmoody Posted Mon December 13, 2010 @ 9:12 AM

Wow. Just wow. So the guy sitting outside the bank in the getaway car
isn't guilty of the robbery? He is innocent?

Your daughter is not innocent! She needs to take responsibility for
partaking in a CRIME and YOU need to take responsibility for letting
her hang out with these other girls and instilling some messed up
beliefs. No wonder!

by sarahsmile Posted Mon December 13, 2010 @ 8:50 AM

Teach your little "innocent" daughter right from wrong. Clearly she
hasn't been taught not to be a follower esp when following the wrong

by mswaim Posted Mon December 13, 2010 @ 8:42 AM

Your daughter is NOT innocent. She admittedly was the lookout for her
three friends while they stole. She is just as guilty as they are,
and since you are clearly incapable of teaching her that lesson, it is
a good thing that the proper authorities ARE.


by Eclipse Posted Mon December 13, 2010 @ 7:12 AM

Are you serious?
I disagree with you on pretty much everything.

by dg132001 Posted Mon December 13, 2010 @ 4:42 AM

So you think your daughter did nothing wrong? Do you really think that
whatever the other three girls were stealing were just for them? Do
you not think that if they got away with it that your daughter would
have benefited from the theft. You are doing your daughter no favors
here. She made a mistake and did something wrong and should have to
answer to it. It absolutely blows my mind that you would actually
defend her actions, and then on top of it expect an apology to your
daughter, for her being arrested due to her actions. If you don't
teach her that what she did was wrong, regardless of who's idea it
was, then this isn't going to be the first time you are going to have
to deal with legal issues regarding your daughter. Unbelievable. I
just can't believe that you seriously think your daughter acted

As for the arrest being illegal because the officer wasn't in uniform,
I suspect (granted I don't know for sure) that the police officer was
working a part time security detail at the store, probably due to
incidents like this.

by E C. Posted Mon December 13, 2010 @ 1:41 AM

Nope, sorry, not buying it. My niece was arrested for shoplifting even
though she too was a "lookout" for employees at Claire's at her local
mall. She felt she did nothing wrong, despite the fact that she
admitted she did nothing wrong. It took a good long chat with me and
her mother to explain to her that she was in the wrong and that she
should have just either walked away or called her mother rather than
give into peer pressure.

This is exactly what your daughter did: give into peer pressure. I
think your daughter needs a good chat with you about not giving into
peer pressure. If not, who knows where this will lead.

If anyone is owed an apology it's the girl who came up with the idea
to you and your daughter as well as your daughter and her friends to
the WalMart management for doing this.


by starla671 Posted Mon December 13, 2010 @ 12:20 AM

I can't believe you wrote a complaint letter about your kid getting
arrested for being an accessory to a crime. She helped others break
the law. End of story.


by PepperElf Posted Mon December 13, 2010 @ 12:15 AM

I looked it up to verify my statements.

You do NOT HAVE to be on duty to arrest someone. "Citizen's Arrest"
is quite legal and valid.

You do however have to detain the person for the police to show up.
And some areas allow off-duty police officers to conduct full


In some states by LadyMac Mon December 13, 2010 @ 2:47 PM

by PepperElf Posted Sun December 12, 2010 @ 11:59 PM

if your daughter was the lookout then...

she enabled the crime and was an accessory to it.

as for the arrest being illegal
1) LP employees don't wear uniforms. that's so they can catch

2) if it was a police officer out of uniform. they can still arrest
someone for a crime.

as far as the other girls being the ones to blame...
unless she has no ability to tell right from wrong and no ability to
make any decisions for herself... then she has full free will.


by gb Posted Sun December 12, 2010 @ 10:22 PM

This is what is wrong with society today -- Enough said!


absolutley agree! n/t by Michelle O. Sun December 12, 2010 @ 10:30 PM

by T. B. Posted Sun December 12, 2010 @ 10:05 PM

Your daughter is guilty of shoplifting just like the other girls.
WalMart AP's do not wear uniforms, you never know who they are until
they walk up and tap you on the shoulder and tell you that they need
to talk to you. Ohh and by the way your daughter is also banned from
entering another Walmart for life. And yes they do pass out photos by
email and yes the AP's can and will arrest someone who has been banned
for shoplifting -its called trespassing. Even if the judicial system
does not prosecute your child, Walmart will never allow her in one of
their store again. You might want to spend this time to re-think your
opinions about this now before you get to court because I can assure
you a judge will not appreciate you blaming everyone but your child
for her crimes.

How do I know all this? Because my best friend is an AP for Walmart.
She busts people every day for doing exactly what your daughter did.


by LadyMac Posted Sun December 12, 2010 @ 9:16 PM

Your child clearly had no business hanging out with these other kids
and why you allowed that to happen I don't know....

At any rate, your daughter is an accessory to this crime (which
carries the same penalty as the one commiting the crime) as she did
assisted in the planning and commission of a crime.

Technically she's also part of a conspiracy to commit a crime. Guess
what - that's the same thing.

Maybe you need to stop making excuses and see that your kid's a
delinquent. You had better do something about it before she gets in
worse trouble.


by Jennifer S Posted Sun December 12, 2010 @ 9:14 PM

Your daughter was an active, willing participant in the burglary of a
store, and your upset because you think your daughter is innocent and
should not have been charged? Your upset with the store for
prosecuting your daughter and your defending her? Wow, you deserve the
award for Mother of Year! (not). This is the perfect time to teach
your daughter to take responsibility for her actions. You should not
be defending her, she is not an innocent victim. And the only thing
illegal about this incident is that your daughter & her friends
burglarized Wal-Mart! There is no law that says loss prevention must
wear a uniform. Look up the law in your state as to what the actual
requirements are, but in most states, as long as an employee or loss
prevention witness's the theft, thats all the probably cause needed to
make a citizens arrest. No one has to be in uniform! I'm curious to
know whether or not these girls were charged with petty theft or
burglary. I hope, regardless of their age, they were charged with
burglary because thats exactly what they did!


petty theft or burglary by Bill R. Sun December 12, 2010 @ 9:19 PM

Don't you just love.. by Harleycat Sun December 12, 2010 @ 11:58 PM

by Irving Patrick Freleigh Posted Sun December 12, 2010 @ 6:24 PM

"On November 19th my daughter and three other friends went to
Wal-mart. Three of her friends were stealing while my daughter was on
the lookout for employees to warn them. All four girls were arrested
for shoplifting. When my daughter (14) told the security guard that
she did not steal anything he told her she was just as guilty because
she was an accessory to the crime she was on lookout."

And you cannot see why they would come down on your daughter? She may
not have taking stuff but she was helping the people who did.

"The lady who wrote this other letter (on November 20th) her daughter
is the one who came up with the idea to shoplift in the first place.
She is the one who set everything up including telling my daughter to
be on the lookout. That child has been suspended from school five
times at least. That child is a trouble maker. It was that child's
idea not my daughters"

Then why is your daughter hanging out with her?

You are known by the company you keep. Your daughter's company is made
up of thieves.

"My daughter was just on "lookout" so why is my daughter being

Because it is a crime, just the same as actually taking and concealing

"Also even though my daughter was on lookout the person arresting my
daughter and her friends did not have the uniform on so he was not
even working when he arrested my daughter which means he did not even
get paid for the arrest. So in other word the arrest of these four
girls are illegal."

Perhaps now would be a good time to familiarize you with the concept
of plane-clothes security. Believe it or not, most stores do not put
their loss prevention people in uniforms. This is so they can't be
easily identified by lookouts such as your daughter.

There's nothing illegal about this. They probably have enough proof of
the shoplifting to make the charges stick.

You and your daughter are owed nothing. And perhaps you should
re-evaluate your parenting. You are not sending a good message to your


by Bill R. Posted Sun December 12, 2010 @ 5:31 PM

Olivia B.,

I have to vote with Harleycat on this issue.

As a lookout she's as guilty as the rest of the gang.

Seize the moment and turn this into a learning experience. Find out if
there is a diversion program in your area. Set her up for sessions
with a good Therapist. Sit down with her and help her develope
realistic and attainable short and long term goals. Hold her
accountable and rachet up the supervision.

This was her fault as much as the others and if anything thing she
owes the company an aopology.



by Harleycat Posted Sun December 12, 2010 @ 4:25 PM

If your daughter was acting as lookout while her friends were stealing
she is just as guilty as they are. Sorry, that's the cold hard truth.
She is not innocent in the least.

Just because the security person who detained them did not have one a
uniform, it does not mean he was not working. Retailers also have
undercover security personnel just like police have undercover

Maybe you should be paying more attention to who your daughter is
hanging out with and hold her accountable when she gets in trouble.


Completely agree! by KGBags Sun December 12, 2010 @ 8:35 PM

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