How unfortunate of an experience for a long time customer....

Settle down, we all know you are just in denial.

OH COOL!

IF asking if 2 women standing next to each other means you're together
it means

I MUST BE MARRIED TO CUBS CATCHER MICHAEL BARRETT!

I stood next to him one time when I was out of town and we were
talking and they asked us if we were together.

Unfortunately we aren't he's a hunk.

"My service was terrible considering that after he made a comment
about me and the woman standing next to me being "together","

Yes. As in "Are you two one party? Shall I mix you two drinks but put
them on one check?"

Some people go out every day looking for things to be offended by.

This is a hysterical post. One of the most humorous of recent past.
Usually when someone is offended it's because there is some level of
truth involved in the perception or situation. If it's not an issue,
one doesn't usually get upset because, well.....it's not an issue.
Whether you are or not, it doesn't matter. What matters is what you
requested. Now that's the funny part. The bartender never came out
and asked you which soft-ball team you were on, now did he? But you
assumed he thought you were a Lesbo and really the issue is that you
want free drinks and dinner on the house your next visit in. Maybe
you can get cash and go someplace called, oh I don't know......like
"Saphos". Would that work?

Are you a lip-stick or bull-dyke? I have many, many lesbian friends
and they come in both categories. Just curious.

Yes, when you have a bad experience, you can leave no tip. However,
when you dream someone is accusing you of being gay, you don't get two
drinks and a free meal with the dream.

$10 drinks at Red Lobster? Wow.

Red Lobsters is my new slang term for Lesbians.

up in CT.. we have this place called the Chowder Pot... so i'll say
red lobster is the "trashy" seafood place to eat. i haven't been to RL
in... gosh.. at LEAST 3 years.

I'm sorry, but I don't think the bartender was insinuating anything,
other than trying to determine if he/she had 2 people ordering in
front of him/her or one single order with 2 drinks. For instance "Are
you two together?" might mean together as friends, but on one
check--it doesn't necessarily mean together as a couple.

Once a week or so, I eat lunch alone and if it's a new place,
sometimes they ask if I'm with the people in front or behind me. I
don't think they think I'm lesbian because of this--I think they just
want to see how many tables they need.

Yeah, right.

Why anyone would willingly want to admit that they're a "long time
customer" of RED LOBSTER is beyond me. I think I'd rather have someone
think I'm a lesbian than say, "Hey, you go to Red Lobster a lot,
right?"

This OP don't get out much. Or maybe that's the problem. Still in the
closet and afraid to come out....

Oh please you want a compensation on two drinks because you thought
that he called you a lesiban. Because of a misunderstanding. When
you wrote this were you having a hangover.

Oh please you want a compensation on two drinks because you thought
that he called you a lesiban. Because of a misunderstanding. When
you wrote this were you having a hangover.

The replies to this letter remind me of a dinner I had with a high
school acquaintance of mine and his wife, whom I had never met.
During the course of the meal, the topic turned to Florida, and Joy
stated she would NEVER dream of going to Key West.

Having been to Key West several times and finding it to be absolutely
wonderful, I questioned her feelings on this.

She replied "Oh my GOD, do you KNOW how many GAY people there are down
there?" I stated of course I did, but let her know that most of them
were very pleasant an laid back and there isn't that "Look at me - I'm
Gay!" attitude you see in some areas.

Unconvinced, she said "Oh, I'm sorry, if I saw a gay couple in a store
or something I would HAVE to confront them."

Being raised to not get into screaming matches with others in a public
place, I let the issue go, but we laughed about it later, picturing
her going up to some poor couple on Duval Street and saying "Hey you -
stop being gay right NOW!!"

Needless to say, we never went out to dinner with them again.

Yeah, so why is it that people accuse me of being a ginger? Just
because I have red hair, and freckles, and pale skin, and I sunburn
easily........oh.

Perception is the most flawed form of fact-gathering for decision
making. Unless the bartender came out and said, "Hey, you're a dyke,
right? You look dykey. I bet you love women." then you can never be
100% sure that was their accusation, or that there even was an
accusation to begin with. BTW, who the frick cares what a bartender
at a Red Lobster thinks about your (alleged) lifestyle?

Were you watching him? Did he have drink orders to make before yours,
or was he watching the game on TV before he even began? Did he hear
you when you spoke to him, or was he even aware you were speaking to
him? Do you know any of these for absolute certainty? I'm guessing
no.

How can you be "accused" of being a lesbian?

I wasn't aware there was criminal intent involved.

Did the bartender say "hey - - you two lesbians together?" or did you
interpret his question "are you together" to be an accusation that you
are a lesbian?

Either way, this is a ridiculous complaint and you don't deserve any
compensation.

Okay, question... Why is being called a lesbian an insult? Unless he
made a homophobic comment about it, you should have simply said
something along the lines of "Oh, we're not together." and let it
drop.

As for the wait time, bars get busy. Bloody Marys take a while to make
right. There is no way fifteen minutes and being mistaken for a
homosexual is worth a free meal.

Talk to people who get kicked out of restuarants or refused service
for actually being gay, and then decide if your whining is
justifiable.

I'm sorry, but I do not see a problem here. You waited a long time for
your drinks, yes, annoying, I agree. But you drank them and also ate
the meal, albeit "not enjoyable". I think you were annoyed it took a
long time for your drinks and the fact that a non-comment was made in
your direction that most people would have written off drove you to
further annoyance. The mature thing, if any action needed, would be to
let the management at the location know of the long wait time.
Otherwise, contacting the main company headquarters is in this case,
a) fruitless and b) done in a completely unprofessional manner.

I know exactly how you feel. On more than one occasion people have
just assumed that I'm straight. Icky.

I have to comment again on this. How exactly did he "accuse" you of
being a lesbian? I didn't even think that was something you could be
accused of in this day and age? It's not illegal. Did he "assume"
you were a lesbian and, if so, how did he verbalize it? "Hey you two
lesbians together'? I suspect that he simply asked if you two were
together.

Yes, the drinks took a long time but was he, perhaps, filling table
orders first?

Stop being so sensitive! Even if he did say you were a lesbian, there
are far, far worse things to be "accused" of.

So... here's the deal. While dining at a restaurant, the WORST move
you can make is to go to the bar yourself. The same bartender has to
make the drinks for the tables and the bar. It'll take just as long,
if not longer since they tend to follow first in first out. First
order they get is the first out. IF you are lucky there is an
assistant helping the bartender make the table drinks.

15 minutes isn't that long waiting at a busy bar. Asking if two
people standing next to one another are "together" is a normal and
reasonable question. I've asked many of people where the answer was
yes... but they weren't "together" romantically... and it was never
implied. Lastly, you wanted the drinks. You drank the drinks. There
is no reason to comp you the drinks.

I dont get it... you were seriously offended because he thought you
were a lesbian? So what? I mean, yes, the 15 min for the 2 drinks
might be a little long, but that real complaint is completely lost is
the *HORROR* of being thought a lesbian. If you didnt MEAN to sound as
intolerant as you came off, I suggest you rewrite the letter and leave
out any mention of the bartender thinking you're gay. It's no
different than him thinking you bought your jeans at Penneys, when you
really bought them at Sears. NO. BIG. DEAL.

What's wrong with being a lesbian?

It's not gross like two dudes or anything.

Wow, it sounds like two things are going on here. One, you're
homophobic. Two, miscommunication. I'm sure the reason the bartender
asked if you and the woman next to you were "together" was because he
needed to know how to ring up the order.

I agree, maybe the service was bad. But I don't believe for a moment
he meant that when he said "together" and even if he did, a simple
"no" is appropriate enough of a response. Was the bar busy?

"Together" does NOT equal "Lesbian". Are we to presuppose any two
women in close proximity are automatically lesbians?
To claim being a long time customer then bump it up to this level
just to strongarm Red Lobster into giving ( grubbing a free meal) to
get "Your business back" is just obsurd and uncalled for.
I guess the Manager was a Lesbian too, or surely you would have
approached her?

Wow, homophobic much? I'm assuming that all he said was 'are y'all
together?' which is a perfectly resonable question. All you had to do
was laugh it off and go about your business. Now, if it truly was a
slur and meant to hurt and offend, you and the other woman should have
called the manager over and complained. The fact that you continued to
stand there says to me it was simply a misunderstanding.

As for taking 15 mintues to pour drinks, you yourself imply the place
was busy, what do you expect?

I think accused is entirely the wrong word to use, forgive me for
starting a whole page of replies here but he didn't "accuse" you of
being a sex offender, or a murderer, merely a lesbian. And no, I am
not a lesbian, I just think the "accused" part was a little much.

Wow, you go up to the bar, stand next to someone, the bartender asks
if your "together" automatically means you're a lesbian? Sounds like
they were busy.
We would ignore someone too if they constantly asked, "if there was a
problem with my order". When you didn't tip, I'm sure your service
really went downhill. I have never heard of a well whiskey or bloody
mary priced at $10 each, not even a double. There are alot of details
missing here.

I think you should have complained to a manager. The bartender's
comments were out of line. I hope you weren't offended: There's
nothing wrong with being a lesbian (well, that's what I've been told
by lesbians, but what do *I* know?), but the bartender needs a serious
lesson in professionalism.

I don't think you deserve compensation for the drinks. And if your
meal was ruined, you took the small-minded moron's comments too
seriously. Laugh off comments made by idiots and life will be much
better.

Colleen, what exactly was the comment? Was it something negative or a
simple misunderstanding.

Several years ago, I was talking to someone at a party. He has
standing next to a women that was a friend of my (now) wife. There
was something about how he was interacting with the woman that lead me
to believe they were going together. I can't remember my exact words
(or how it fit into the conversation), but I said something about them
dating. I was wrong, was correct, and apologized.

However, it wasn't meant as an offense.

Without knowing what was said here, it's hard to say. For example
"Does you partner, there, want a drink, too?" is NOT meant as an
offense. And you should not take any offense. "Oh, we're not
together" is enough of an answer... and then move on.

15 minutes sounds like a lot, but... not unreasonable if the bar was
really backed up.

Lastly... did you drink? If so, you don't get your money back. If
you were that upset by the experience, you cancel the drink order and
leave. Once you drink and eat, you've agreed that things weren't so
bad.

And, gosh, being "accused" of being a lesbian and having to wait 15
minutes for a drink... well, without details, it sounds like that's
NOT a night-ruining set of events.

What did the manager say? You did ask to speak with a manager, didn't
you?